Addicted

Day By Day

We pulled up to the front of the house and I looked over at Angie. She  was staring out of the window and I could just tell she was nervous. I didn't know what she was so nervous about. It wasn't like she'd never been here before. I got out of the car and headed towards the front door when I noticed she wasn't following me. What the hell is she waiting for? I went back and opened her door and she looked up at me. I knelt down in front of her and smiled

"Angie what's wrong? You used to live here for Christ's sake. It's not that serious."

"I know. It's just....it's...it's been a long time. There's...so....um...so many memories."

You could hear it in her voice. She didn't really want to be here and she didn't trust me. It was like nothing changed at the arena because she wasn't alone. There was always someone to back her if something happened. It's a different story here and I guess in the end her last memory here wasn't exactly a pretty one. I looked down and sighed

"You don't trust me do you? At least not here and alone?"

Her eyes instantly welled up and she looked at her lap. I reached over her and unbuckled her seat belt and turned her to face me. I wiped the tears from her cheeks

"Angela look at me."

She slowly raised her eyes to meet mine. I wiped the tears from her eyes and half smiled at her

"Have I given you any reason at this point to not trust me? I promise you that I won't hurt you. I just want to talk is all."

I took her hands and helped her out of the car. She slowly walked in front of me and would look back at me as we walked. I just smiled at her and put my hand on her back so she couldn't try to leave. We stopped at the front door and I unlocked it and we walked in. I closed the door behind me and turned back around. Angie froze and I could see her chest heaving and that she was starting to freak out. I put my hand on her back and she turned and threw herself against me and cried. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea. I thought she'd feel more comfortable here, but I was dead wrong. I wrapped my arms around her and held her for a minute and pulled her back

"We'll talk over here OK?"

I took her by the hand and lead her over to the couch. We sat down and just looked at each other for a few minutes. I reached out my hand and caressed her cheek and smiled. She smiled back and looked down

"Angie please tell me what's on your mind. You're so uncomfortable and I don't really understand why. I won't hurt you."

"I..."

She hesitated and looked down and then back up at me again. I couldn't get over how beautiful she was or how much I'd missed her. There were a million things I wanted to do and say, but I needed to get over this hurdle first. I waited for her to say something, but nothing came out. I couldn't understand why she's having such a hard time. She scooted a little closer and leaned in and kissed me and climbed on to my lap and straddled me. This was not part of the plan, at least not my part of the plan. I pulled her back and looked at her confused

"Angie...what is this?"

She leaned in and kissed me again and bit my lip as she pulled back. I wasn't going to lie it was turning me on and I had wanted to get her in bed for months, but I was trying to be respectful for once

"I want you, Jon"

That was all the invitation I needed. I put her over my shoulder and carried her to the bedroom.

Angie's POV

I woke up and smiled feeling Jon's arms around me. I missed him so much and I loved him more than anything. No one was ever going to change that. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead

"You're awake?"

"Mmhmm. Angie what was that earlier?"

"Being here stresses me out. I figured I might as well get what I really want and de-stress"

"I would never hurt you. Not anymore. I'm so sorry for what happened when we were together. For the things I said and did while you were holding Bailey. I never meant for that to get so out of control. I should never have touched you while you were holding Bailey. I shouldn't have touched you at all. I just...I got so mad. I thought we had resolved everything so when my lawyer called I lost it. You have no idea how sorry I am Angie. I lost everything that ever meant anything to me"

I didn't know what to say. I knew he was being sincere and meant what he was saying. I was just so afraid that no matter how sincere he sounded now that it wasn't going to be that way a few months down the road. I wanted to jump in with both feet and give it everything, but at the moment I was only able to dabble my toes in.  I couldn't walk away no matter how hard I tried. There was never going to be anyone else in my mind and my heart.

"Ang?"

"I'm sorry. I was lost in thought. I know you're sorry Jon. I'm..I'm just so scared that this is all too good to be true. That it'll be like this for a few months and then it'll go right back to the way it was. And I want you to see Bailey and be her father, but I'm just so afraid."

"What can I do to prove to you that I mean it this time?"

"I honestly don't know. Show me? Right now I can't trust you beyond a day to day thing. If you don't want me now I understand."

He rolled over and hovered over me and smiled as he moved the hair that had fallen in my face. He leaned down and softly kissed me

"I'll always want you. I love you Angela. Nothing is ever going to change that. If you want to do this day to day then that's completely fine. I just want you to believe me and trust me."

I half smiled and reached up and pulled him to me and kissed him.