Addicted

Long Road Ahead

"MMmhmm"

She laid her head back on the pillow and went back to sleep. I was anxious to leave, but I knew if I left April behind she'd be angry with me. I shook her a little harder

"WHAT JON!!??"

"They found her April. Please hurry up I want to go"

We went out to the car and I could hardly contain myself. I couldn't get to the hospital fast enough. It didn't matter what happened I was just thankful she was alive. I looked over at April who was wringing her hands in her lap. I put my hand on her shoulder and smiled

"April this is a good thing."

"I don't want her to hate me or think I let whatever happened to her happen. I feel like I failed her in every way. I just want to tell her that I'm sorry...I'm just so sorry."

"I know her and I know you. I know she won't think anything of it. You're pretty much her sister. I don't think she blames you."

I pulled into the parking lot and quickly lit a cigarette. I was so nervous. Now that we were here I was scared of what we were going to walk into. No one actually said on the phone whether she was dead or alive. I more or less just assumed she was, but the notion that she wasn't had creeped into my head making me want a cigarette. April waited by the back of the car and called Phil to check on how Bailey was doing. I finished up and we headed inside.

Police and investigators were everywhere. I just wanted to get to Angie. All of the rest of this wasn't important to me right now. They pulled me aside and started asking questions. I didn't even do anything. They finished their questions and I sat and waited for someone to take me to her. This doctor came in and started talking about Angie, but I wasn't really paying attention. I just wanted to see her I didn't really care about anything he was saying at first and then my ears perked up

"Traces of GHB were found in her system..."

"GHB? Really?" I sighed and looked over at April "There's no way she would've known"

"What little the police could get out of her the guy apparently beat and raped her repeatedly over the course of a day and then drove her to the woods outside of the city and beat her and choked her and left her for dead. She has some facial fractures that may require surgery and hypothermia. They're finishing up getting her settled.  You can see her in about 10 minutes"

I ran my hands over my face and ran my fingers through my hair and put my head down. I was so pissed off and frustrated at the situation. How could I let this happen? I muttered under my breath and sighed

"What Jon?"

I looked over at April "I said she must've been so scared. And before that I said how could I let this happen?"

"There was nothing you could've done. Nothing I could've done. I'm just thankful she's alive"

A nurse came and took me to her room. I walked over and just wanted to trade places with her. She looked so horrible. One eye was completely swollen shut and she was covered in bruises in cuts. I gently touched the large red marks on her neck and felt my eyes well up. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat and held her hand.  Some of the nails were broken and dirt and mud were caked underneath. Her hand felt so cold. I held it between mine and then to my face as I always did when she complained about being cold.

"I'll always be here Angie. I'm never leaving."

I felt her trying to pull away so I held on tighter

"No...no"

"Angie it's me. It's alright you're safe"

She looked at me and started to cry. I sat on the edge of the bed next to her and she shot up and threw herself against me and sobbed. I held her tight and never wanted to let go.

"It's going to be alright Angie. I'm here. I love you so much. I'm so glad you're safe. I was so worried and scared that I lost you"

"I was so scared Jon. I didn't know what to do. I tried.....I tried....I thought I was going to die and never see you or Bailey again. Please don't let go. Please hold me."

I held her in my arms as tight as I could without hurting her "I'll never let anyone hurt you like that again. I promise."

We sat there in silence as I held her. She finally stopped crying and relaxed a little. Every time I tried to move her or pull her back she held on to me tighter.  I finally gave up trying to move her and just sat there with her. I looked down and she had fallen asleep. I just wish I was in a more comfortable position. It was killing my back. I heard the door close and looked over and saw April walk in

"She's asleep"

"I know, but every time I try to move her she just holds on tighter"

"I want to bring Bailey to her because I know that would make her happy, but I'm afraid it would scare Bailey to see her like this."

"Don't do it April. Not right now."

"The baby sitter I helped Angie get just quit. Phil is with Bailey, but he's having a hard time with her. I guess I could call Stephen since they live down the street from each other and Bailey thinks......well...."

"Bailey thinks Stephen is her father?"

"Don't be upset Jon. She's only 2 and Stephen is all she knows. Angie knew once she brought you back into the picture it was going to be hard. It's part of why she's hesitated letting you meet her. She didn't know how to handle it properly."

I nodded and looked down at Angie and sighed. I could't help but think that everything that's happened in the last 2 years could've all been avoided if I hadn't been such a complete asshole to her. I was finally able to pry her off of me and lay her back. I sat in the chair next to her and sighed. April came over and put her hand on my shoulder

"Are you going to be alright? I'm going to go try to figure out this situation with your daughter."

"Yeah. Thanks"

I put my head in my hands and sighed deeply. Everything was such a mess right now. I put my head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling and started thinking about things and drifted off to sleep. It was interrupted by the sound of a completely terrified scream. It was something I'd never heard come out of Angie before. I shot up from the chair and went straight to her and pulled her to me and held her tight.  She kept screaming and I didn't know what to do. My heart was pounding and I could hear it thudding in my ears.  It kind of freaked me out to see her like this. She was just so absolutely terrified and I didn't know how to help her. I rocked her in my arms, it was the only thing I could think of

"It's alright. Shh it's alright. I'm here"

She finally started to calm down just as the doctor came in. I laid her back and she panicked and reached out for me. I held her hand and carefully kissed her cheek "I'm right here. I'm always right here." She gave a slight smile and started drifting off to sleep.

"The night terrors are normal. They should get better as time passes. It's safe to say she suffers from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The bruises and the cuts will all heal and that's the easy part. It's what happens with her mentally that will be the hard part. She's going to need a lot of patience and support. This isn't going to get better overnight. I know you feel helpless right now, but I think you're doing a good job so far."

He left the room and I stood there next to her feeling incredibly stressed

"Jon" she whispered

"Hmm?"

"Hold me"

She scooted over a little and I laid in bed next to her. She laid her head on my chest and I wrapped my arms around her. I kissed the top of her head and let out a sigh of relief. I waited until I heard faint snoring before falling asleep.