Addicted

The Dream Is Still Alive

"What the hell is the matter with you???"

He came towards me with such anger and back handed me across the face. I stumbled backwards and fell through the wooden and glass coffee table. I cried out in pain, but received no sympathy. I groaned as he picked me up by the front of my shirt and pulled me up to him and got in my face

"You're a whore Angie. A disgusting whore. How could you!!?!?"

"I didn't do anything"

I could feel blood trickle down my back from the glass. I was trembling with fear and I was trying to stay calm, but I couldn't stop shaking. I held my breath as I felt the sting of his hand hitting my face again. He let go and let me fall down to the ground again and I started to back away

"Where do you think you're going? You haven't paid for what you've done yet."

"I didn't do anything. I don't understand"

He grabbed at my ankle and I kicked his hand and started to back away

"OH you want to kick me??"

Tears streamed from the corners of my eyes as his fist connected with my right cheek. Everything went black until I heard a familiar voice

"Angie...oh Aaaaannnnngieeee"

My eyes fluttered open and saw April standing over me. I smiled in relief, waiting for her to help me. She blew me a kiss, laughed and threw her arms around Jon and passionately kissed him

"I tooollld you sooo"  She laughed

Jon's POV

"Angie....Angela...Ang wake up"

I looked back at the clock and sighed. It was 3:15 in the morning and this was the second time in two days that she's had horrible nightmares all night. They always revolve around me beating her senseless and I couldn't help but feel incredibly horrible knowing that the fight we had 3 months ago is what caused the nightmares. If she was unhappy in our relationship she sure didn't show it. We'd never been happier. Maybe it was because we were staying at a hotel in her hometown so it was triggering something.  I don't know, but they didn't start until we arrived here. I shook her a little harder this time and she sat up, her eyes flew open and she gasp for air. I cupped her face in my hands and rest my forehead on hers. She was trembling and having trouble catching her breath

"Shhhhh calm down Angie. It was just a dream. It wasn't real. Just breathe"

"............can't...............breathe....."

"Yes you can. Just focus. In and out"

I caressed her cheek and kissed the tip of her nose before pulling her to me and rocking her in my arms. I wanted to ask about the dream, but I knew what this one was going to be about. I sighed thinking about it and looked at the clock. 3:45...I'm sleeping in...she owes me for having to do this twice tonight alone. She finally started to relax a little so I pulled her back to sit in front of me

"I'd ask you what it was about, but I already know. What's causing this Angie? This is the second time tonight alone"

"I know...I'm sorry" 

She whispered. I could barely hear her

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad Ang. I know these feel real for you. I'm just trying to understand what's going on."

She shrugged "Um. You haven't been with April have you?"

"What? No...never...well, I mean once long before I met you. But that was a long time ago. There's no one else Angie. What made you ask?"

"She was in my dream...she kissed you."

"It has never happened as long as I've been with you. Before you? I told you, once a long time ago.  I think she's just on your mind because you miss her. Lets try to get back to sleep."

I ran my fingers through her hair down to her shoulder and leaned in and kissed her. She half smiled and sat hugging herself. I laid down and held out my arms. She looked back and cuddled against me as close as she could with her head on my chest.  I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight.

"Comfortable?"

She slightly nodded. I laid awake with her until I heard a light, faint snoring. I looked over at the clock 4:30am....ugh. I sighed and drifted off to sleep.

Angie's POV

I stirred and opened my eyes and found myself in Jon's arms. I smiled and just laid there. I didn't know the time and I didn't care. I felt horrible about last night and for the last two nights. Poor Jon hasn't been getting much sleep and that's all my fault. I'm just so stressed out being this close to home and the idea of what we're doing here just makes it worse. Last week on our days off Jon and I went to Ohio and I met his family. This week we're in my hometown to meet my family. I knew that he didn't grow up with the best life situation, but I was incredibly embarrassed about mine.

My phone rang from the side table next to where I was supposed to be sleeping, but I didn't feel like trying to move or answer it. I figured it would go to voice mail. I felt him stir and then slightly squeeze me

"Oh you're awake?"

His voice was hoarse and sleepy.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

"No"  he said with a yawn using his left hand to wipe and rub his eyes into focus "What time is it?"

"I don't know. Early I think. I need a shower. Just go back to sleep. I won't disturb you. I promise"

He let go of me and I scooted away and took my phone. He groaned, rolled over and sprawled across the bed.  I gathered some clothes and walked towards the bathroom. I looked back to see he had already fallen back to sleep. I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I checked my messages while I waited for the water to heat up. The voice mail was my sister warning me that my dad was in a mood. She knew we were coming. My parents didn't and I didn't like the idea that they were fighting already. I sighed and stepped under the water and let it fall over me as I stood with my eyes closed. I accidentally drifted off to sleep standing there

Jon's POV

I awoke to a blood curdling scream. I shot out of bed and went to the bathroom door...it was locked

"Angie! Open this door! Angela talk to me. Are you alright? Open up"

She didn't answer and I was starting to panic so I burst through the door with my shoulder. I forced the door open and moved the shower curtain. I found her crouched in a ball in the opposite corner. I turned off the water and covered her with a towel

"Ang...are you alright? You scared the shit out of me."

"I didn't mean to"

She was shaking again and I pulled her out of the shower and held her close.

"I know you didn't. It's alright now. What are you so scared of?  What started this?"

"Being here...back home...I can't anymore Jon. I don't even come home on holidays or call like I should. This home haunts me and if it ever burned to the ground I wouldn't care. Please tell me we don't have to go over there."

"Angela if you and I plan on getting married soon we should at least meet each others family. You met mine even though that was embarrassing for me. Now it's my turn to meet yours. I promise I'm not going to judge you or think less of you because of what happens. I love you no matter what Angie. "