BDSM SOCIETY: Convicted To You

CHAPTER 6

BestSis:

Hari, thank you! You're the best!

My vision was blurry. Nag-uunahang tumulo ang mga luha ko at hindi ko kayang pigilan iyon upang huminto. The more I suppressed it, the more it burst.

Sunud-sunod ang iMessage ni ate sakin. She was happy, and I was broken. Sana hindi ko nalang tinuluyan ang confession. I should have let it looked that way. I should have let him believed that it was only for a show. Pero wala. Ginawa ko na.

I confessed!

Shet!

I stopped the car on the side road letting myself vulnerable. I wept and let my heart bled.

I fell hard, and I thought I was prepared for the heartbreak, but I wasn't. I should've kept it to myself. Sana hinayaan ko nalang na mag-move on ako without his knowledge of my feelings.

Ano nga ba ang sense bakit ako umamin? Fuck, alcohol! It made me ballsy and bolder.

I felt like the pain was limitless. Sa dami ng pwede kong tawagan, hindi ko alam kung bakit si Drax.

"Hi." I bit my lips when I heard his gleeful voice. Bakit masaya ang mga tao samantalang nasasaktan ako? Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong mag-break down. Kasalanan bang magmahal ng taong may mahal nang iba? "Hajae?"

I cleared my throat. "Hello." I never said hello to someone, but I did now. When you said 'hello', it felt like you two were meant to separate ways.

Pinatay ko ang tawag dahil narealize kong hindi ko kailangan ng matinong kausap. I wanna let loose and be complacent.

Tinawagan ko si Duress at sinabing mag-club kami. Sa pinakamalapit na club kami nagkita. Marami ng tao nang dumating kami. Umorder ako ng maraming alak, iba't-ibang klase. I wanna drown myself with my babies. Nagtataka na silang lahat kung bakit ang wasted ko ngayon. What bar was for if you wouldn't drink, right?

"How are you?" Rana asked. She chose the right question. Kung ibang tao ang nagtanong, they would basically ask me if I was okay. And it sounded like you're obliged to be okay.

I raised my hands in the air telling them I was. It's hard to let everyone knew you're not okay because it would take tears to be vulnerable and only took a smile to hide millions of tears and heartbreak.

Ang daling magsabi na okay ka lang kaysa mag-explain kung bakit ka nasasaktan.

Shet! Ang shet ng buhay! Ang shet ng love! Ang shet ko!

"Let's enjoy the night!" Tumayo ako habang bitbit ang bote ng Jack Daniels na nasa kalahati pa ang laman.

I enjoyed the night. But I easily got sobered because I was sweating profusely. Kaya naman ay bumalik ako sa table namin at naglasing. Hindi ako sasayaw, pagpapawisan ako at babalik na naman sa wisyo. Nilunod ko lang ang sarili ko sa alak.

"I hate that bitch!" Kumunot ang noo ko nang nakita si Zoreen. Shet! She's crying. Lalamangan yata niya ang drama ko kanina. At mukhang lasing na. Nauna yata sila sa amin dito.

Dolce pacified her. "Bakit ba? What happened?"

"I and Liam split up, Ate D!" She wept. Shet!

"Did you ditch the party?" Umiling ito.

"No! We got bored so we left earlier before the party ends."

"Zoreen?" Huminto iyong ate niya sa tapat ng table namin. "Why are you here? Aren't you supposed at the party?" Mukhang lasing na rin ito dahil muntik na siyang natumba.

"I left!" she answered while sobbing.

"Why the hell are you crying?"

"I slapped and kicked Liam's balls for cheating on me! And then he broke me up! The nerve of him!" she ranted. "He had the guts!"