Secret Love(on-going)

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Cheer

tulala ako ng ilang oras. Thinking my lips on him. That was my first kiss and i gave it to the person i can't have. The person i can't reach. Inalis ko ang isang butil na luha na dumaloy sa pisngi ko. Ang tanga ko talaga. Kung saan ako na hulog ng tudo ay doon rin ako sumuko.

Pero mag kaiba ang gusto sa kailangan. At mag kaiba ang 'gusto kita' sa 'mahal kita'. Choice kung bumitiw. Kasi yun ang kailangan ko. To stop me from this imagining things that can't be happened in real life.

"chin up, Yami!" pagod akong nagpaubaya sa kamay ni Agnes pag-angat ng mukha ko. Her eyes bore into mine. Para nya itong sinusuri.

"Para lang sa mga broken hearted ang expression nayan" she said while smiling sadly. I know she's trying to cheer me up. Saksi sya kung paano ako nahulog kay Easton.

Pinunasan nya ang luhang dumaloy sa pisngi ko. Umupo sya sa tabi ko and cupped my face.

"Wag mong pilitin ang sarili mo sa taong hindi ka gusto" aniya habang inaalis ang mga luhang dumaloy sa pisngi ko gamit ang mga daliri nya.

"But i can feel, he likes me too" humikbi kong sagot. Umiling-iling sya. She's not believing me.

"No, you're just imagining things, and it's not healthy" mataman nyang sabi. I can't stop my tears from streaming down my face. Nasasaktan ako. Ganon ako ka rupok, ganon rin ako kahina pag dating sa pag-ibig. Wala akong ibang tanununan kundi mahalin ang isang tao.

"it's okay, it's gonna be okay" she hugged me, i hugged her back. Nakakatakot pala mag mahal. Lalo na sa taong hindi ka rin mahal. Sobrang nakakatakot, masaktan.

"Yami, saan ka pupunta?" tanong ni Agnes ng tumayo ako sa kinauupuan ko. After that moment i cried in her shoulder, bumalik kaagad kami sa classroom. She told me to be strong. So i'm learning.

"Sa paligid lang" i smiled to assure that i'm fine.

Si Agnes yung tipong taong hindi ka papakawalan pag nakitang hindi ka nakangiti.

"but-"

"I'm fine." bumuntong hininga ako at tinalikuran sya. I have no one else to go. Gusto ko lang pamag isa.

Lumalakad lakad ko ng matagpuan ko ang sarili sa harap ng music room. Pinihit ko ang door knob. Nabuhayan ako ng hindi ito naka lock. Gusto kong mabawasan ang sakit na nararamdaman. Gusto ko nalang maging manhid. Na kahit nong sakit hindi ko mararamdaman.

Kinuha ko ang gitara at puwesto sa isang upuan sa mini stage.

I smiled bitterly before strumming the guitar

Never put my love out on the line
Never said yes to the right guy
Never had trouble getting what I want
But when it comes to you, I'm never good enough

When I don't care, I can play 'em like a Ken doll
Won't wash my hair, then make 'em bounce like a basketball

It use to be rock. But i sang it in a soft way.

But you make me wanna act like a girl
Paint my nails and wear high heels, for, you
Make me so nervous, that I just can't hold your hand

You make me glow,
But I cover up, won't let it show,
So I'm puttin' my defenses up
'Cause I don't wanna fall in love
If I ever did that, I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack
I think I'd have a heart attack

Never break a sweat for the other guys
When you come around, I get paralyzed
And every time I try to be myself
It comes out wrong like a cry for help
It's just not fair
Pain's more trouble than love is worth
I gasp for air
It feels so good, but you know it hurts