All About Timing

Chapter Sixteen

Ashlyn's POV

It's two days before Christmas and my baby girl is finally home. We spent the day just lounging on the couch, watching movies and eating take out. She honestly seems better, happier, like there was a bit of weight taken off her shoulders.

I know she's not fixed.

Scratched that, she wasn't even broken.

I know she has a lot to work on and honestly I want to be here for her as much as I can. I just don't really know how.

Right now, I'm sitting on the couch with a cup of scotch unsure if I want to read the letter that she wrote me.

Was I ready for this? Was I really ready.

I took a sip of the liquid, allowing it to warm my body before opening the letter.

'Dear Mom,

Sometimes I wish that I would of met you earlier in life, like maybe when I was born. That I would of automatically been yours and never with that bitch.

I know I'm sorry, I shouldn't cuss but I know you agree with me.

You've only ever really heard the brief statement of what she put me through. You've seen the scars and experience my nightmares, my anger, my lashing out, and well all sorts of trauma I experienced from her.

The thing is, I vividly remember everything she put me through. From her physically abusing me to all those people who abused me.

I remember being seven years old and learning young how it felt to feel dirty, used, worthless. Trust me, I'm not trying to make excuses for myself but it's more to explain myself.

When I was five, after the two men in uniforms showed up to our house and told Jessica that my dad had died. She immediately blamed me, telling me it was my fault before she physically hit me for the first time.

This continued everyday, it got worse when we lost our land and had nothing but the car left in our name. From there we started to live in the streets in her car in the Dallas-Fort Worth area.

That's when she realized how much money she could make selling me to random men and woman who seemed to like little girls.

Thus, explaining what happened when I was seven.

Eric Patterson being one of them, I met him when I was younger and he seemed to follow me all these years.

I'll spare you the details.

When I was nine, I met my saving grace. A little miracle from God and it was Detective Perez. He was an undercover cop that my mom sold me to for the night and well, after that, I ended up in a foster home in Dallas.

They really didn't care about me but it was way better than being put what Jessica put me through. So I stayed there, rationing for food and running off as often as I could.

That's when I met you, at that little park where we I sat right next to you even though I didn't know you. I remember the way you talked to me and instantly, hoped and prayed that you would take me away from this place.

For once I felt safe.

That was what I was longing for, to just feel safe and it broke my heart when I had to go back to that place.

Luckily you came back for me and you showed me what it was like to feel love for the first time, to feel wanted, to feel like I mattered and that I didn't deserve what I encountered when I was younger.