All About Timing

Chapter 41

I stared at the baggy that I didn't dare to open, although I was severely tempted to take the drugs. I just couldn't, I made a promise to myself.

So, for now, I just stared at the bag in hopes that just staring at it would help me forget everything I'm feeling.

By the time Emily got home last night, I was crashed out on the couch and I checked on Noah the whole night so she could get some rest.

Right now, she's went for a workout with some teammates so here I am staring at a baggy while my daughter sleeps.

Yeah, this isn't good.

I hide the bag in my secret place before I make my way to Noah's nursery.

The room was painting a light grey and instead of me doing a mural on the wall. I hung up some painting I did specifically for her room.

One wall had 'Noah Grace' painted in cursive above her white crib with forest green sheets, a changing table, a dresser, and a rocking chair in the room.

I sat on the rocking chair, lost in thought for a while before I heard a small cry.

Getting up, I picked up my girl who immediately stopped crying when she felt my presences.

"Hi baby girl," I whispered as she cooed.

"You know, I love you right?" I question her as if she could answer me.

I stared at her a little longer before I smelt something horrid.

"Oh, I guess you love me too you little stinker," I tell her as I see her crack a small smile.

This girl.

I change her diaper before I take her to my other favorite place in my house, my music room.

I set her down on her small swing and buckle her in before placing her pacifier in her mouth.

I grab my dad's guitar that I've kept in great condition over the years and I begin strumming a tune.

I see Noah staring at me and I find myself smiling.

"My Mom, your grandma or whatever they decide you call her, used to sing this song to me. She didn't sing very well but it was the thought that counts. Then I used to sing it to your Aunt Angelica who is in heaven watching over us," I tell Noah before I continue strum the tune.

'For you, there'll be no more crying.

For you, the sun will be shining.

And I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright.

I know it's right.

To you, I'll give the world.

To you I'll never be cold.

Cause I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright.

I know it's right.

And the songbirds are singing, like they know the score.

And I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before.

And I wish you all the love in the world.

But most of all, I wish it from myself.'

At this point, Noah's eyes were closed again, and I couldn't help but laugh at how much this girl sleeps.

I lift her up in her swing and I set her down in the Kitchen as I start on dinner.

I play some Spanish music in the background as I sing along while I decide on what to cook.