All About Timing

Chapter Twenty-Six

I sat at home base, staring off into the distance. I held my legs against my chest, resting my chin on my knees.

I could cry, I desperately wanted to cry but I couldn't, the tears felt stuck in my throat. I just wasn't sure what to do?

My thoughts were jumbled up and I wasn't sure at this point what I was thinking. Memories kept flooding in, I could hear her laugh, see her smile, feel the way she used to grab my hand or kiss me.

I missed her so much.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest as I tried to shake the thoughts out of my head.

My girlfriend died this morning, right as my baseball game started and I saw it coming. I knew it was coming but just the thought of not even seeing her anymore killed me.

"Harris?" I hear behind me but I don't move. I hear the dirt crunching as someone approaches me and that's when they sit beside me.

"Hi Coach, I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm allowed to be here but I just needed a moment to breath. I can leave if you need me to-" I rambled on.

"No, you're fine here. I heard about Sadie and I want to say, I'm sorry for your lost Aryn. I really am," Coach Miller tells me.

I feel the lump form in my throat again as I struggle to let out a 'thank you'.

"I-I- might have to miss practice, her funeral is on Tuesday and- and Mikey and Ben might miss it too and-" I continued to ramble. Her funeral is on the same day that my dad died, how ironic?

Also my birthday is next week.

Yay, me.

"You guys are fine, it's understandable. You know, you surprised me today, that you still played your game even after you found out," he tells me.

"I didn't want to face it yet, I still don't. Just the thought of her gone really just hurts me coach. I don't want her to be gone," my voice cracked as I held my knees tighter into my chest.

"You know, I lost my wife when I was only 22," Coach starts off as we watch the sun begin to set.

I didn't respond, I looked towards him as he continued to stare off into the distance.

"We were young and she was amazing, an amazing woman. Beautiful. These big dark brown eyes and locks of curls. She always had a smile on her face and was willing to help anyone and everyone. She was beyond perfect and when I lost her, it was hard not to loose myself," Coach explained, he took a deep breath looking down at his hands.

"I've been sober for five years because after she passed, I drowned myself in the bottle. Of course, my mom couldn't keep taking care of my kids so I finally manned up. But it was hard, everything reminded me of her. I would love to say it gets better but honestly, it really doesn't you just learn to cope with them not here."

I sigh, nodding my head as I play with the ring from our fake wedding, a smile forming on my face.

"She still made me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich this morning," I mumble, still playing with the ring.

"Hmm?" Coach looked towards me.

"For the last few games, she made me a peanut butter and jelly before each game. She made me one this morning and when I got to the game, her mom called. She was alive one second and took her last breath the next," I explained to him.

"My wife used to make me lunch every morning before work, it sucked because nothing could compare to her home cooked meals," he laughed.

"I missed her in the crowd this morning, I could always hear her over everyone yelling."