lost and Found |Taekook|

22. Comfort

There are a few things about being lonely that Jeon Jungkook wishes somebody had warned him about - he wishes that somebody would have held his hand or whacked him in the head (either works) and had warned him to not get too comfortable with it, not to confide in it.

Jungkook has been lonely his entire life. He wishes he knew how to pull himself out of this spiral, but instead he kept on falling in it.

Jungkook also wishes that there was a better word then hurt, it feels unfair to sum up all his emotions in four syllables. He wishes the same for love too.

He also wishes that things had gone differently then how it did with Taehyung. He wishes for a lot of things which cannot be turned into reality.

Jungkook calls it life.

Jimin found Jungkook sitting on the floor in his bathroom. He convinced Yoongi and Jin so that he could be the one taking dinner for Jungkook. He had knocked several times on the door and when he got no response he decided to enter in.

At first glance, Jimin thought that Jungkook was surprisingly calm considering the situation he just went through. However, after a few more steps inside the bathroom, Jimin realized that Jungkook was anything but calm.

Jungkook is sitting with his back against the cold tiled wall, legs crossed, fisted hands tucked into them, rocking back and forth, mumbling something.

Jimin walks to him and crouches down beside him only to realize that he is counting the tiles on the floor of the bathroom, eyes unfocused and hazy.

Jungkook flinches away when he feels Jimin touch his shoulder, eyes widening when he sees the elder. He would seriously take Jin or Yoongi at this moment, he doesn't want another person telling him how pathetic he is.

"C'mon Kook get up, you'll catch cold," Jimin says, pulling Jungkook's weight up so that he can stand.

Jungkook wants to resist but his body feels weak so he let's Jimin drag him outside of the bathroom and then into the bed. Jimin drapes a blanket around his body and Jungkook sighs into the warmth engulfing him.

"I brought you dinner, both you and me. We'll eat and then you can sleep," Jimin says in a slow and soothing voice.

It's only then Jungkook realizes how hungry he is but he also feels like throwing up, that's why he was sitting in the bathroom in first place, "I can't hyung, I feel like m' gonna throw up." He says.

"You have to eat something Kook, just finish your noodles, then I'll give you meds and you'll be fine, okay?" Jimin says, calm and comforting. Jungkook believes him sub par.

"Will I be-" he takes a deep breath and then looks at the elder, "Fine?"

Jungkook immediately looks down after saying that. Jimin scoots closer to him, lifting his chin up, "Of course you'll be," he says, smiling and nodding at Jungkook to give him assurance.

He silently looks at Jimin doing the work around the room, he drags the small table near the bed, keeps the food packets on it and then drags a stool along with him to sit on. He then opens the foil and mixes the seasoning in Jungkook's noodles, separates the chopsticks into two and gives it to Jungkook.

Jungkook stares at the chopsticks in his hands for a few seconds and then looks up at Jimin, "Should I leave? like, go away? I can find a job somewhere else, in another city? or maybe country--" he rambles, frowning to himself, it's not that bad of an idea, right?

"Jungkook" Jimin says sternly and it stops Jungkook from spiraling in his own toxicity.

Jimin drops his chopsticks and reaches for Jungkook's hand, holding them, "Don't let Tae's words affect you like this. He didn't mean half of the shit he said, he was just being an asshole." Jimin's words are believable, Jungkook wants to believe him but he cannot. At least not after the scornful expression on Taehyung's face.

"I don't know hyung, it's not like he was lying," Jungkook says, dejected. His voice wavers and he bites on his bottom lip

"But Jungkook--"

"Can we not talk about it!" He snaps, he didn't mean to but he did. Jungkook is not really a 'talking about my problems' person and this conversation is making him angry and it feels like he'll lose his appetite.

If it was Jin or Yoongi they would have shut up and give Jungkook the space he needs, but it's Jimin, much to Jungkook's disappointment, "No! No, I won't let you shut down like this," He says, almost snaps back at Jungkook but then quickly controls his octave, back to the caring tone, "talk me Jungkook, tell me how you feel right now?"

How does Jungkook feel? He himself has no idea, he is feeling a lot and nothing at the same moment, like an utter gut wrenching chaos of numbness.

Tears brim his eyes again as he tries to figure out his feelings. The fact that Jimin is here and cares about him is overflowing him newfound emotions, "Nothing? I don't know, I don't feel anything," He says, shaking his head. He blinks his eyes to stop the tears, lips trembling and sore from biting on them.

Jimin moves more close to him and hugs Jungkook, food long forgotten. "You can talk to me Kook, please, I want to be here for you," he says, ruffling Jungkook's hair and then connecting their foreheads. They both stay like this, Jungkook takes the warmth and comfort that Jimin is giving him.

After a while Jimin let's go of him and they eat their food. Once they're done Jimin cleans the table and climbs back on the bed, "Give yourself some time. People make mistakes, they improve and become a better person. Don't give up yet," he says, moving Jungkook's bangs from his forehead, massaging his scalp.

"I don't know hyung, what should I do? I can't figure out anything. I don't want to think but I can't stop-" Jungkook's bottom lip quivers again and he shuts his eyes tight to stop his tears, "I can't, hyung,"

"Hey it's okay, it's okay Jungkookie you can cry," Jimin holds him close, cusping his cheeks and rubs his back as Jungkook buries his face into the juncture of Jimin's shoulders.

"C'mere, it's fine. You'll be fine. Let me hold you."

So Jungkook does, he let's Jimin hold him, tight, protective and secured. He locks his hands around Jimin's back and let's go of all the worries.

He falls asleep like that into Jimins arms, exhausted but content, silently thanking Jimin for not leaving and staying.

Jungkook wakes after a few hours, cold sweating. He had a nightmare. It almost feels like the whole evening was a bad dream, but then he sees Jimin sleeping beside him. He doesn't remember the nightmare much, only a few snippets here and there.

He dreamt about drowning, shouting for help and Taehyung was laughing at him, standing by the shore.

Jungkook pulls out his phone to check time, there are a few messages from Yerim that Jungkook ignores. It's past midnight, he doesn't feel like sleeping again and the nightmare has left him breathless. He decides to go and sit on the patio outside the living room.

He climbs out of the bed, grabs a spare blanket and walks outside. The night feels eerily calm, from here he can listen to the sound of waves hitting the shore.

He sits on the small two seater couch and wraps the blanket around him, it's a cold December night, the chilled air hitting his face. It feels good, almost euphoric. He is thankful that Jimin was there for him today, to hold him until Jungkook was himself again. The fog in Jungkook's mind clears bit by bit. He still cannot figure out what he'll do tomorrow or with Taehyung in general and he has no idea why Taehyung snapped at him like that.

Jungkook hears the sliding door to the patio open and turns around to see who it is. It's dark outside, faint light flickering over him. Jungkook squints his eyes, after a few seconds he figures out, he can recognize the said person even with closed eyes.

"Taehyung?"

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