Adventuress Love | S.M & C.C

I Don't Think Love Believes In Me

Shawn's POV [flashback]

"Sweetheart, I just don't want you to end up alone." My mother consoled me, handing me a cup of tea.

My parents were always on me about finding someone. They wanted grandkids and I was already 27 with a stable job as a project design manager. The only thing keeping me from giving them grandkids is having the other end of that line, a women.

I wasn't desperate for anyone and I wanted to wait for the one but that didn't mean I didn't have other girlfriends. As much as my parents wanted grandkids and for me to be happily married, they hated everyone I brought home. I couldn't blame them, a lot of the women I brought home were just looking for some fun and nothing serious. I was different. I wanted serious.

"Shawn, I just think it's time that you really start trying to look for the one-"

I couldn't handle my parents talking my ear off about "the one". It was overwhelming and they were quite overbearing. I loved them but sometimes they were too involved in my love life that was semi-nonexistent.

"I-I do have a girlfriend." I said, a little too quickly. I immediately regretted my decision of saying that, knowing that they'd now ask to meet her. My mother looked taken aback with wide eyes and my father had the biggest smile on his face.

My father's face turned upside down, probably remembering the other women that they've met, "is she a good girl this time? You know those other girls..." I shook my head, not letting him finish. "When can we meet her?" My mother was practically bouncing off the walls of sheer excitement.

I shook my head, laughing. "I was thinking...in Milan? During your dinner party..." my voice faltered, knowing damn well that it wasn't a good idea but my parents faces lit up.

"So it's serious? You two? - if you're taking her all the way to Milan." My father reminded and that's when I knew I had royally fucked this one up. I gulped, swallowing my pride. "Yeah, it's um...it's serious." I swiped my hands over my thighs trying to conceal the sweat that was coming from my palms.

They smiled contently at me, embracing me before leaving my office.

I felt bad for lying but I felt even worse knowing that I now had to find someone in Milan that would be willing to be my fake girlfriend for the night.

If that wasn't bad enough, they're expecting this women to be amazing and for her to be a 'forever my love' type of person when really, I don't know if I'm capable of having someone with such high quality.

——

He paced around his room, contemplating if he should go visit her or not. It was early in the morning and all he thought about was going to visit her. He couldn't sleep most of the night, his mind was busy being clouded by thoughts of Camila.

No women had ever been like that too him. He almost felt...attached to her. She was a special girl and he knew that she had many things going on in her life, something like an inner battle that she's fighting that he doesn't know about.

He understood why she never talked about it though, they just met but the times they spent together, felt like a normal thing that they've been doing for years.

—

Shawn's POV

I knocked on the door, firmly. I felt bad. I had no idea if she was up or not. Texting her didn't even cross my mind but standing here, right now, this early in the morning - it seemed like the better idea.

I stood there, awkwardly, hoping that she'd answer the door and that's exactly what she did.

She stood there before him in just pyjama shorts and a oversized t-shirt that had 'The Beatles' printed on it. Her wild curls cascaded down her shoulder and the sleepiness in her eyes made her look adorable. Not even trying she still looked breathtaking.

A lump caught in my throat but she did the talking. She quickly ranted about being here so early but that died down after I made my way inside.

"I'm sorry...I just couldn't stop thinking about you." My back was to her as I made my way towards her window that had the same view as me except a little higher up, hence, her being a floor above.

I was too scared to turn to her, scared of being told that she found that weird and because of that, I scared her off. She didn't do that. Instead, she ran her hand up and down my back, leaning her head on my arm and peacefully stared at the view.

She broke the silence, "I've been thinking about you too." My heartbeat quickened as I looked down at her, just to see her looking back up at me. I had the urge to kiss her, right then and there but I didn't. I wanted to wait. I wanted to wait until I knew what exactly this was and I wanted to wait until I knew that she was one hundred percent okay with it.

I still haven't figured her all out but I cut myself some slack because I've only known her for about two days.

Ordering room service with her and just talking to her on her bed felt like the most comfortable thing in the world. For once, I was truly happy in the presence of a women. I didn't feel the torture of knowing that she was using me for pleasure and I didn't feel the need to explain myself over and over again about being something serious because she seemed to like taking things slow, as she's said before.

She didn't do one night stands or fuck buddies.

"I believe in love - but sometimes...sometimes I don't think love believes in me." She chuckled, almost as if she wanted it to seem like a pathetic joke that she made in class.

Hearing her say something like that broke me. It was heartbreaking that she didn't believe that she was capable of love and the capacity of it.

I've never been in love and I don't know what it feels like but I do know that someone like her, so beautiful and pure - deserved love. She deserved the most precious and valuable love and maybe, just maybe, I could provide that.

She probably got sick of me talking her ear off about how magical she was to me and that she deserved the best kind of love but it was true. I vow to myself right now that she'd find that love. Even if it wasn't me, it'd be someone.

A/n

This is getting more in depth of Shawn's past and what his family is like about harping on him to fine 'tHe oNe'.