Adventuress Love | S.M & C.C

Catch Each Other

The guilt she felt did not only sit on her chest, but her brain. There was no way to undo what she had just done. She could make very subtle amends but still, she couldn't confess her love for him.

The love she had for him was strong, but so was the love she had for her father but he left.

Shawn wasn't like him. She knew that deeply in her heart. Shawn wouldn't leave. Her brain said otherwise.

Camila loves her sister but she sadly left. She wasn't saying that Shawn would die but the thought of loving someone and letting them in, only to have them vanish - made her want to vanish, herself.

Camila's POV

This guilt I felt was like gasoline burning in my body - taking over it. My insides slowly died as the toxins known as my guilt overflowed my body.

When the guilt comes to take over me again I have no one but my mother to console me but even now, I know that she disagrees with my decision.

Who was I kidding, I disagreed with my decision. It haunted me. I knew I should've never ended things. I needed someone like him but I couldn't have him.

"Just call him...he will understand." I laid my head on my mother's lap as she stroked my hair on the couch. I didn't say anything, my sobs did the talking.

I hated being so sad, especially over a guy. People would say it's silly but if they knew Shawn then they'd understand.

"I can't...he doesn't love me anymore." I managed to choke out. My heart clenched at my own words. I didn't want that to be true but it truly would've been my fault if it was.

"Honey...that's not how love works." She looked down at me with sympathetic eyes.

I sat up, wanting to listen to what she had to say about love. I wanted her take on it because from the looks of it, she never had a happily ever after with a man.

"When you love someone, it doesn't go away. It doesn't change. It's stuck with you, forever - if they're the one-"

"How do you know that they're the one?" I asked, not sure of how it worked. As of now, I could only picture being with Shawn and having a forever with him.

She chuckled, "you just...you'll know." I nodded my head, knowing that she had no idea how to answer that question more than she did.

"Love is like not ever living a moment in your life but when you're with him, you're free and you're born."

I remembered all the adventures in Milan we had. It was emotional and exciting. He cared for me while I hurt, he listened to my soul, deeply and intently.

"It's also like...not thinking of anybody else. It's cliche, I know - but it's like you guys are the only two people in the world."

It did. When I was with him, I forgot about everything and anything - it was just him and I. It was euphoric and heavy. Passionate and sweet.

"Your heart...it's angry without the person you love."

I thought that I was angry. Angry at myself for not saying what I wanted to say, I was. But, what was truly angering was my heart because it lingered without him, it didn't have anyone to latch onto anymore. It needed Shawn.

"Camila, falling in love is the easy part."

It was because I didn't have to say anything. I just had to feel it alone, abandoned.

"Admitting to yourself and admitting to him that it happened, is hard." She brushed my cheek with her thumb, smiling sadly.

I started to break down again, falling into her arms. "Mama, what did I do?"

"You can fix this." She shushed me.

"What if...what if he doesn't want me anymore?"

"That's the thing...love doesn't do that to you. Love doesn't make you not want someone when they're not there, they start to crave that person because their love is so strong and their heart is so full for you."  She reassured me and I started to feel better about loving him.

After what my mom had just said, there was no way in hell that I could admit that I didn't love him.

"He can wait for you but...that's painful. If you love him, tell him and the fear of him leaving, will disappear."

I didn't understand how my mother could talk such good things about the concept of love when her love story was anything but that.

It was almost as if she could read my mind.

"Your father and I loved each other but not the way Shawn and you love each other." I tilted my head to the side, raising an eyebrow.

"We loved the idea of love, we never fell into it. You...you and Shawn, you fell and you fell hard and the only thing to do now is to catch each other."

Catch each other. Something I know he'd do. He would catch me when I fall, he would heal me when I'm broken, be there when I need him, and love me when I don't love myself.

A/n

STAN SINU FOR CLEAR SKIN !!!!!

Soooo...how y'all doing?

I'm bored:)