Adventuress Love | S.M & C.C

Love Isn't So Simple

Camila's POV

Being back in Miami was refreshing. My apartment was bare but it was peaceful.

I never once stopped talking to Shawn, it was crazy to me that I was hooked for a guy that I just met a little over a month ago.

A month without being in his arms or kissing him. I was borderline obsessed with him and it scared me just the slightest bit.

I spoke to him for majority of the day, more often than not it was on the phone or FaceTime. Seeing his face brought me happiness and sometimes it was embarrassing to admit.

I was used to independence. The last time I had a boyfriend was my second year of college which didn't end well, mainly because it was rushed and I didn't want rushed.

Shawn understood that, he understood me.

He told me that he didn't want to take away my independence but he also didn't want me to feel alone and that I could go to him whenever I needed and he'd be with me in a heartbeat. It made my heart skip and my knees weak just knowing how invested he was in my happiness.

"So, you seem awfully giddy. What is that about?" My mom spoke around a bite of her sandwich that she prepared for the both of us.

I had come to visit her, considering I haven't seen her for so long. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know...you just, I guess you seem happier. I haven't seen you so happy and open in so long."

I let that sink in. Was my sadness and despair visible to people? I never wanted that but it seemed that I failed to do that for my mother.

I sighed, but smiling slowly at the thought of Shawn. My mom started to laugh at my behavior. "I met this guy...in Milan. Shawn." I confirmed, resting my head on my hands.

"I don't know about you Camila but...you're whipped." My mother laughed, poking fun at my fondness for Shawn.

I explained to her, everything that happened and she was at first, upset about my irresponsibleness - involving my dead phone, but soon was proud that I opened up to someone and she was extremely grateful for Shawn which made me exceptionally happy.

"Call this man! Please! I can't stand just looking at pictures of him!" She shook my arm, begging for me to call him so that she could thank him.

My mom and I were always close. We had the best bond and I told her everything but I stopped that when my sister died and only now am I opening up. "Okay, okay, fine." I rolled my eyes.

I grew impatient with every ring that went by but thankfully he had answered.

"Hey, Mila! You look beautiful. How are you?" He said, his tired face through the screen. The time difference sucked but he managed to make time for me which was the sweetest.

"Um...I'm good. My mom wants to say hi to you, actually." I laughed, nervously. Slowly I handed my phone over to my mom after Shawn agreed.

"Oh my God! Shawn! Thank you for bringing back my little girl!" She was basically crying.

"Of course, really, it was all her." I knew that Shawn wanted me to know that my progression was purely me but even I knew that he was a big thanks. I blushed and my mom saw it.

They talked for awhile. Mostly, them joking about me and my mother showing him my baby pictures which I found extremely embarrassing.

"Shawn, you need to come visit soon!" My mother laughed. "I will, very, very, soon! I want to meet you and I miss you, beautiful!" I knew he was speaking to me and my mom aww'd at us.

My mother left us alone to speak privately and there was so much I wanted to say but I didn't know how and there was so much that I felt but couldn't express.

It frustrated me that I wasn't able to express myself as much as I'd like to.

"What's got you so down?" Shawn didn't let me ponder my thoughts much longer as he snapped me out of my trance.

I thought for a moment - once more. What did get me so down? Yes, not being with Shawn did but also knowing that I don't feel like myself and I don't know why that is.

I wasn't sure if I didn't like it or not but I just knew that it was a different feeling.

"I feel...I don't know." I shrugged and I saw the expression on his face. I couldn't tell if it was disappointment or fear.

It scared me that he knew me more than I did. "You do know...you can tell me, you know." He reassured me and that's all it took.

But that's exactly what was terrifying. He could get anything out of me with just a look on his face or something small that he says.

"I feel like I've changed." I looked down instead of up at my camera, or at Shawn.

He shook his head, as if he was in a train of thought. His bottom lip was in between his teeth.

"Changed how?" His eyebrow raised and his eyes narrowed.

I sighed, how do I possibly say this. "Like...when I'm talking to you, I can just say anything but when I'm with anyone else...I can't...I can't express how I feel." I rubbed the nape of my neck, stress overcoming me.

He chuckled before rubbing his eyes, the time zone probably getting to him. "You have so much to offer, Mila. Just say what you want to say and sometimes...sometimes you don't need to tell everybody how you feel unless it's truly messing with you." I nodded my head at his words.

"Sometimes you just need that one person that you can vent to and express your feelings to, that person you trust." His gaze fixed on me, at least I think so. It's hard to tell on FaceTime.

I started to understand what he meant. I didn't have to say something all the time and if I wanted to, it was okay to have that one person. That one person was him and I was convinced that it was.

"So...you?" I stammered, not sure if he was soulfully okay with that.

His smile widened, his eyes twinkling and his hand over his heart. He gasped, exasperatedly, "me? The person you trust? I'm honoured."

I laughed with him.

Maybe it was okay to trust people and maybe it was okay to just trust that one person even though the people around you trust more than you think you should.

He was teaching me things that I didn't even know was possible to learn.

I never knew how to trust people other than family but Shawn made it so easy and that was okay.

I was used to making things hard for myself but around him, things were easy and things were happy. Sure, there were hard times but he put it all at ease.

I never knew that I could be so invested and so reliant on someone else yet still have the same independence that I knew I needed.

For that, I'm grateful for him.

I never had a fatherly figure and I never saw any of my family members love. They were all independent or divorced.

Much like my parents, my father left. Vanished. Left my family and I as if we meant nothing.

Seeing couples like Shawn's parents made it seem so easy to fall in love or simply, just being in a relationship but looking at my past and how "love" was shown, it didn't seem so simple.

A/n

Here we are...back to learning more about Camila.

If it's not obvious, Shawn doesn't know that her father is gone and we WILL get more in depth to it because I think it's good to know about her past before we get more invested in Shawmila.

The way Shawn finds out though is different.

Stay tuned:)