𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝗼𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐢𝗺𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬

19, 23, 38, 56 ❁ 𝘻𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘯 & 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘺

∞༺♡༻✧
𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 @𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝘆𝘅𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲𝘆
"𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑡....𝑖 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢"
"𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑖 𝑘𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢"
"𝑖 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢"
"𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡? 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑑!"
∞༺♡༻✧

i laid my head on my boyfriend, zach's, chest as we watched tv. zach had fallen asleep a few minutes ago, but i was wide awake, lost in thought.
i met zach about two years ago through my best friend daniel. zach and i have been dating for about a year and a half, but recently things have felt so off.
i mean, i've been in love with daniel all my life, so it makes it really hard for me to have actual feelings for zach.
my phone buzzed and i looked down at it, seeing a text from daniel.

𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗲𝗹 ❤️
you okay? you looked upset today when i was over.

i sighed and rubbed my hands over my face.
daniel came over today to drop off something zach had left at his house. he was only here for about twenty minutes, but somehow he sensed that i was falling apart.
of course he sensed it, he's practically my husband.
daniel and i have been best friends since elementary school. we shared our first kiss in seventh grade and we kissed again in our senior year of high school, but once i met zach, we stopped.
that was up until about four months ago.
about four months ago, zach went to visit some family for the weekend and i was home alone. there was a terrible thunderstorm, so i called daniel and begged him to come over. he came over, i was crying because the power went out and i was alone. daniel stayed the night and cuddled me and we kissed. i felt bad because i was cheating on zach, but i love daniel so fucking much. it just happened.
every time daniel and i are alone together, something has happened. whether it be just a kiss or a full blown make out session, i'm somehow cheating on zach.
but, that is all coming to an end.
because daniel got a girlfriend. he found some girl at a party and started dating her and we haven't kissed since then.
i decided that i should text him back. i wanted to tell him the truth because i can trust him.

me
i miss u so fucking much. i miss being able to kiss you and i miss making out with you when i sneak out at night. i miss you daniel because i love you so fucking much

𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗲𝗹 ❤️
i love you too, i always will. but we don't work, we know that. i have a girlfriend and ur with zach. we just don't work, baby, i'm sorry.

i didn't respond, i only let the tears fall down my face.
we just don't work.

𖧷

TWO YEARS LATER

i laid in bed, surrounded by tissues with mascara running down my face.
daniel got married two weeks ago and i've been a mess since the day he got engaged.
zach isn't home at the moment, he said he had some errands to run.
i picked up my phone and went through my camera roll, starting to cry harder as i looked at all the pictures of daniel and i together.
i decided that i needed to get out of the house, so i wiped my face, threw on some clothes, and then grabbed my car keys and left.
i drove to a hill behind a park. daniel and i used to come here all the time when we were growing up and we both come here to clear our heads.
i parked my car, got out, and then sat down on the hill. i took one deep breath before i started sobbing again.
i cried and cried and cried, it was like i couldn't run out of tears.
i couldn't run out of tears, that's how much i love daniel.
all of a sudden, i felt an arm around me.
i looked up to see an exhausted looking daniel, staring at me with eyes full of concern.
he pulled me into his chest and i sobbed harder than i ever had before, clinging to him like he was the only thing keeping me alive.
"tell me what's wrong, i'll make it better," he said, reciting the line he has said every time i've cried since we've been kids.
"you can't make it better," i cried, balling his sweater up in my hands.
"of course i can. i'd do anything for you, i'll make it better, i promise," he whispered, using his thumbs to wipe the tears from my cheeks.
"i..i..i..." i trailed off, not knowing how to say it.
"just tell me, you can trust me with anything," he said.
"i fucking love you, daniel! i love you! i know you don't feel the same way, i understand. but it's fucking killing me. i've been in love with you for as long as we've known each other and it literally kills me to see you married to someone who isn't me. i'm sorry if this freaks you out, but...i can't....i can't lose you," i sobbed, finding it hard to breathe because of how worked up i was.
daniel knew that i was about to have a panic attack, so he quickly pulled me into his lap and held me tight.
"follow my breathing, sweetheart. it's okay, everything's okay. i promise you, i swear to you that everything is okay. don't be upset, there's nothing to be upset about," he whispered into my ear, his arms still wrapped tightly around me.
as i calmed down, daniel sang to me, his beautiful voice was enough to calm me down.
daniel lifted my face up and wiped a few more tears.
"the fact that you would ever doubt my love for you makes me want to punch a wall. i've been in love with you since that day in third grade when you gave me your lollipop on valentine's day and then kissed my cheek," daniel said, never breaking eye contact.
"daniel, what are you talking about? you're married! you married her for a reason, it's because you love her, not me! don't bullshit me just to make me happy in the moment," i said, untangling myself from him.
"you've gotta be fucking kidding me. i..i married her because i gave up on you. i'm realizing now that giving up on you was the dumbest thing i have ever done because you're my fucking soulmate, there's no doubt about that. five years ago, when you started dating zach, i...i felt like i was almost depressed. my heart shattered, because i loved you so fucking much. that night a few years ago when you called me because you were scared of the thunderstorm? yeah, that was one of the best nights of my life. y'know why? because i was there to comfort you, not zach. i was the one protecting you, not zach. that night, you clung to me like i was your boyfriend and then we kissed and i thought everything was going in the right direction, but it wasn't. i gave up because i thought that you didn't really love me. i shouldn't have gave up, i should've fought for you because i've loved you for my whole god damn life and i promise to love you till the day i die," he ranted, out of breath by the end.
i stared at him in disbelief.
he loves me.
"can i kiss you?" i asked.
he didn't respond, he pulled me on top of him and started kissing me passionately. we both had wanted this for years, so our kisses became rougher as we got ourselves into a very heated make out session.
when we broke apart, we just hugged.
"zach was going to propose to you today," daniel randomly blurted.
"what?" i yelled, my eyes wide.
daniel shrugged and i sighed.
"y'know, i feel like a complete bitch, but i think i have to break up with him. which sucks because he's so sweet and he's been a great boyfriend, but...but i'm supposed to be with you. i want to be with you for the rest of our lives," i said.
"i feel like a complete asshole because i'm going to have to file for a divorce three weeks into being married, but...i'm doing it for us. for you. i'd do anything for you," he said.
our foreheads rested together as we kissed a few more times.
"i told you i could make it better," daniel whispered.
"i love you."
"i love you today, tomorrow, and everyday."

∞༺♡༻✧
𝗽𝘂𝗯𝗹𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗱 - 𝟲/𝟲/𝟮𝟬
𝑖 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢
∞༺♡༻✧