end of the day | seongjoong

chapter thirty

"hey hwa, i'm back." jongho said as he walked into the house, stopping in his tracks after seeing the sight in front of him, "oh, sorry. i didn't mean to interrupt anything." he chuckled a bit uncomfortably while looking at the two boys cuddle on the couch.

"sorry man, we were watching how to train your dragon and joong got cold." seonghwa mustered up a lie as quickly as he could, not wanting jongho to think anything else of the situation. he stood up and walked over to grab his jacket, making his way towards the front door to leave.

"hyung, seongie is in this movie! see, toothless looks just like him!" hongjoong pointed at the dragon on the screen, giggling into his hands as he spoke. seonghwa's heart did a flip in his chest, bursting from how cute hongjoong looked when he got excited over something.

"yes joong, the dragon looks just like him." jongho laughed in response to his brother's statement.

seonghwa put a hand on jongho's shoulder, "i'll be heading out now." seonghwa said to the boy as he gave him some money for watching hongjoong.

before seonghwa could leave the house, hongjoong called out, "bye seongie!" with a big wave.

seonghwa waved back, "bye joong, i'll see you soon."

"catch up with you at san's later." jongho said before shutting the door and walking over to his brother, hoping to get some details from hongjoong.

"so, any reason seonghwa was all up on my baby brother?" jongho questioned, crossing his arms to seem more intimidating.

his efforts didn't work, though. hongjoong laughed out loud, "no reason, stop being so nosy!"

instead of answering the boy, jongho decided to tickle attack him. hongjoong cried out loud, laughing uncontrollably as his brother's fingers tickled around his whole body.

"jongie, s-stop it! it h-hurts!" hongjoong screamed in between laughs, continuously kicking his brother who eventually stopped.

"oh hongjoong, what will i do with you." jongho settled down next to his brother, hugging him tightly as hongjoong smiled into his chest, remembering all the incredible events that went on that day.

-—

seonghwa ran into his room, slamming his door a little too loudly behind him. just like the night prior, he began pacing around his room like a mad man. instead of denying his feelings, this time his heart was breaking for the boy.

i can't believe myself... why did i think that was a good idea? why did i hurt him like that? he's an angel, so beautiful, so precious... and i hurt him for my own sake. i know he accepted my apology, but it's not enough... i feel disgusting.

seonghwa hated himself at that moment. he sat in the corner of his room and began pulling on his hair, slamming his fists into the walls in frustration. before he knew it, tears began streaming down his face fast and hard.

"i hurt him so bad." seonghwa cried out, choking on his sobs.

seonghwa lifted his legs to his chest and put his head in his arms, "he's too good, he shouldn't have forgiven me... i'm such an idiot, i'm such an idiot." he repeated to himself.

the boy didn't realize how loud his sobs were. before he knew it, there was a knock on the door, startling him from his own thoughts. seonghwa quickly wiped his tears and tried his best to speak up without sounding like he was just crying a river.

"y-yes?" he stuttered a bit, cursing himself for sounding so weak.

"honey, are you crying? can you please let me in?" seonghwa's mother calmly asked, not wanting to overstep any of her son's boundaries.

"um... yeah, one second." seonghwa quickly stood up and ran to his mirror, making sure he didn't look too much like a mess before letting his mother.

sadly, there was no hope. he wiped his nose and face a bit and opened the door, knowing his mother would see he had been crying prior to her coming in.

"oh my god, baby what's wrong?" seonghwa's mother gasped at the sight of her son's red tear-stained face, rushing over to him to wipe the lone tear running down his cheek.

"i-it's nothing, mom." seonghwa replied, not sounding convincing at all.

"i obviously know that's a lie. can i come in?" she asked and seonghwa moved to the side, letting his mother come in the room without any fight.

she walked in, moving straight to seonghwa's bed. she sat down, leaving a space for her son to sit beside her. seonghwa took the seat and put his head into his mother's chest, unable to control the tears from flowing any longer.

she decided not to ask any questions until seonghwa was ready to speak. until then, she rubbed her son's back and patted his head to ease his nerves.

"shhh baby, it's ok... whatever happened, it's ok. it'll be ok." she relaxed her son who eventually sniffled and sat up, looking deeply in his mother's eyes.

"m-mom, i-i messed up. i m-messed up b-bi-big time." seonghwa cried louder, trying his best to get the words out coherently.

"what did you mess up?" she asked, sounding extremely concerned.

"i... i d-don't want to tell you. you're going to be so dis-disappointed in me." he admitted, looking down at his lap in disappointment.

"it's ok, you don't have to tell me if you're embarrassed. is whatever you messed up something you can fix?" she tried consoling her son to the best of her abilities.

"well, yeah. technically i did fix it, i guess. but i still feel horrible. i- um, i hurt someone. i hurt someone badly, and for no real reason. i was confused with myself, and i let out my frustration on another person. it was so wrong of me." seonghwa shook his head and began crying once again, hugging his mother tighter than before.

"seonghwa, if you don't want to tell me what happened, it's ok. but i want you to know that hurting someone else for your own sake is never ok. that was selfish of you. i'm sorry for being a little blunt, but it's true. you should always think of how your actions will affect others." seonghwa's mother explained to her son and seonghwa nodded his head in agreement.

"i know, i know i should. i was being an idiot. and the person is so sweet, too. i hurt someone, someone fragile... i can't believe myself, i'm disgusted." seonghwa let go of his mother, continuing to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

"well you said you fixed your problem, right?" seonghwa nodded his head, "well then, that's good. but you need to fix it with more than just an apology. whoever this person is, i want you to be forever sweet to them. be your best self to him or her. if you're crying this much about them, they obviously mean something to you. show them how much they mean to you, and be the good boy i know you can be."

seonghwa smiled, wiping his tears before they could run down his cheek, "you're right, mom. he- i mean, they do mean a lot to me. i will. i'll show them how much they mean to me. thank you for that, i really needed this talk."

"anytime, my love." seonghwa's mother gave the boy a kiss on the forehead before standing up, "i'm going to make dinner, you think of ways to be a better person." she pointed to her son who chuckled out loud.

"i will, thank you mom. i love you." seonghwa finally met his mother's eyes, thanking her from the heart.

"i love you too, baby." she smiled before opening the door and exiting the room, leaving seonghwa alone to dwell in his own thoughts.

i just wanted everyone to know that when i first started writing this story, i outlined sixty chapters... i already wrote past chapter sixty and i still have a whole big part to write🗿wow

i also started taking a special medicine for my migraines and lordyyyyy does it make me dizzy, but honestly i'll deal with the dizziness for a few more days if that means i'll feel better soon.

-vic