SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

22. That Familiar Smile

JULIA'S POV

O.....M....G.... Like OMG talaga. We know Kath. Nakwento sya samin minsan ni Patrick. Pero sabi ni Patrick namatay daw si Kath noon dahil nakulong sya dun sa nasusunog nilang bahay dati. Pero who in hell is this girl standing in front of us? And why the hell does she look like Ella?!?!?!?!?!?!??! Currently hinahug nitong si Kath si Patrick, but Patrick is not responding to her hug. Syempre, may girlfriend na sya e. Teka, speaking of girlfriend.. I looked at Ella. Umiiyak na sya! Omygosh. "Ella, are you okay?" lumapit ako sa kanya at ibinulong yan. She did not answer, pinahiran lang nya ang luha nya at tumakbo palabas. --PATRICK'S POV-- Biglang tumakbo si Ella palabas ng venue. I pushed Kath away and followed Ella. Don't you dare call me rude. Sino ba kasi dito ang girlfriend ko ha. "ELLA!" I called her name. Luckily, she stopped running away. "Ella, let's talk. Nagseselos ka na naman ba? Don't be please. Alam mo kung sino ang totoo kong mahal." I told her kahit nakatalikod sya sakin. "I don't know Patrick..." she said, nakatalikod pa rin sakin. "Anong hindi mo alam?" tanong ko at bigla nalang syang humarap at lumapit sakin. "I don't know if you really loved me, Patrick. Minahal mo ba talaga ako dahil ako si Ella ha? Is this the reason why you called me Kath the first time we saw each other? Nung una palang alam mo nang magkamukha kami and you didn't even tell me? Tell me the truth Patrick! Kaya mo lang ba ako kinaibigan noon kasi gusto mong malaman kung ako si Kath? Kaya ka ba tanong ng tanong ng tungkol sa past ko so that you'll know if I am your lost best friend? TELL ME PATRICK!" sabi nya habang hinahampas ang dibdib ko. Napayuko nalang ako kasi totoo lahat ng sinabi nya. I became so interested in her kasi kamukhang kamukha sya ni Kath. Kinaibigan ko sya kasi I have to know and find out if she's really my supposed to be dead best friend. Napahagulgol nalang si Ella nung hindi ako nakaimik. She covered her face with her hands and she just stood here in front of me. Suddenly, it rained. I took off my jacket and placed it over her body. Hindi nya ito tinanggal. I hugged her. "I'm sorry..." panimula ko pero dko natapos kasi nagsalita agad sya. "I'm sorry for what Patrick? For using me? Or for loving Kath and not me? You know what, I don't need your explanations Patrick. Sige na, balikan mo na dun si Kath. Alam ko namang matagal mo na syang gustong makasama" and then she ran away. Hahabulin ko pa sana si Ella pero may yumakap sa likod ko. "Pat..." Tatlong tao lang ang tumatawag sakin ng "Pat". Si mommy, si Ella at si Kath. Imposibleng si mommy to. Lalong imposibleng si Ella to. Sasabihin ko sanang imposibleng si Kath to. Pero hindi na pala imposible yun kasi buhay pala talaga sya. "Kath... Malakas na ang ulan, tara na sa loob." I said coldly. "No, Patrick. We're not going anywhere until you believe me." sabi nya "Believe you?" sabi ko sa kanya. "Alam ko hindi ka pa rin naniniwalang ako si Kath." what? Ano namang hindi ko papaniwalaan e sya na nga tong nagsabi. "Kath, iba ang hindi pinaniniwalaan sa hindi makapaniwala." "A-ah. Ganun ba. Pero ramdam kong ilang ka sakin..." "Ilang taon kaming naniwalang patay ka na. What made you think na madali naming madadigest na buhay ka pa?" sabi ko sa kanya. Still no emotion in my voice. Bakit ganun, hindi ko maramdaman sa kanya yung mga nararamdaman ko kay Kath noon? Yung saya, pagkacomfortable ko. Bakit ngayon, kabaliktaran lahat ng nararamdaman ko. The rain suddenly stopped. "Well, let's start with this." she then held out a familiar necklace. Kapartner nung sakin. "Do you still remember this, Patrick? I gave this to you on the day of your birthday right? Exactly 8 years ago..." sabi nya. Yes I do remember. But wait, nasan yung ganun ko? Kinapa-kapa ko ang bulsa ko at naalala kong dun ko pala yun nilagay sa leather jacket ko. And my leather jacket is with Ella. "Where's yours?" tanong nya sakin. "Sa bahay." I answered. "Ah okay." Binalot kami ng katahimikan. Walang nagsasalita saming dalawa, kaya I decided to start the conversation. "Kath tell me. Pano ka nabuhay? Pano ka nakasurvive dun?" I seem to caught her off guard kasi napatitig nalang sya sakin. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it." sabi ko at aaktong aalis na, pero pinigilan nya ako. "No, Pat. It's okay. Let's sit muna and then I'll tell you everything." Pumunta kami dun sa may bench sa ilalim ng puno and umupo doon. Nagsimula na syang magkwento. "I don't really remember everything. Ang alam ko lang, someone saved me from that painful incident. The flame was all over my body, pero someone took me out of that house bago pa ko tuluyang maging fried. Marami akong natamong sugat at burns. Kaya naman I needed to stay in the hospital para magpagaling. After that incident, natakot na ang family ko for me and for all of us, that's why we decided to stay in US for some time para na rin makarecover kami from what happened." kwento nya. "Si Tita Min, is she mad at me? Kasalanan ko lahat ng nangyari sayo." "Tita Min?" tanong nya. Ano? D nya kilala ang mommy nya? "Uhh. Your mom?" "Oh yeah. My m-mom. Uhhh. No. It's fine with her." sabi nya at sabay iwas ng tingin. May mali e. May mali. Hindi ko lang alam kung ano. "Kath, maggagabi na. I think you need to go home already." I told her. Pumayag naman sya at nagpahatid na sya sa driver nya. After nyang umalis, bumalik ulit ako doon sa loob. Nakita nina mommy na basang basa ako. "Patrick! Are you okay?" sabi ni mommy. "....." I didn't answer. "Where's Ella?" tanong ni daddy. "She r-ran a-away..." sabi ko ng nanginginig ang boses. Umiiyak na pala ako. "Sshhh. Patrick, don't cry. Everything's gonna be okay..." sabi sakin ni mommy while hugging me. "Let's go home muna, magpalit ka na muna ng damit. Basang basa ka." sabi ni dad. We went home without finishing my party. I don't know what happened there anymore. Bahala sila kung gusto pa nila magparty kahit wala ako. Okay na sana e. Ang saya na ng birthday ko. Pero bakit kailangan pang magkaganto? Bakit kung kelan okay na ang lahat, tsaka may manggugulo na naman. When I saw Kath earlier, I was shocked. I was stunned to even say a single word. I'm partly happy that she's really alive. But aside from that, wala na kong naramdaman. Noon, I really wanted her to be alive. I really wanted to spend my days with her. Pero ngayon, iba na ang lahat. Andito na si Ella. Oo, magkamukha sila. Sabihin na nating hindi makukuha ni Ella ang attention ko una palang kung d dahil kamukha nya si Kath. Pero kahit dun nagsimula ang lahat, natutunan ko pa rin syang mahalin dahil sya si Ella. Inaamin ko, madalas akong magduda sa nararamdaman ko noon. Madalas akong malito, pero nung nagawa kong maamin sa sarili kong mahal ko talaga si Ella, ibinigay ko na ang buong puso ko sa kanya. I have to talk to Ella. I have to let her know how much I love her. I was about to go out of our house para puntahan si Ella when my phone rang. Unknown number calling . . . I answered the phone. ( P-patrick... *sob* *sob* ) boses to ni Ella ah! "Ella! Are you okay? Nasan ka? Please let me explain!" sabi ko sa kanya. "Starville subdivision. Dito sa may playground dito..." huh? Bakit naman sya nandun sa subdivision ni Quen? Wala naman si Quen dito. Bakit pumunta sya dun? Bakit hindi nalang dun sa sariling playground ng subdivision nila? Well, anyway.. ang mahalaga magkita kami ni Ella. "Okay, wait for me there..." I told her then hung up the phone. Lumabas na ko ng kwarto then I saw mom sa may sala. "Baby, where are you going?" tanong ni mom. "Dyan lang ma. I need to talk to her badly." sagot ko. "O sya sige. Alam mo ba kung san sya pupuntahan?" "Yes ma. She just called me." pagkasabi ko nyan, biglang nagbago ang mukha ni mama. "Is there a problem?" tanong ko. "You sure it's Ella? Sigurado kang sya ang tumawag sayo?" tanong ni mommy. Bigla akong kinabahan. "I just wanna remind you Patrick. Baka nakakalimutan mo lang naman.. buhay si Kath. Hindi naman sa ayaw ko sa kanya, but Ella is your girlfriend. Alam kong mabigat ang pinagdadaanan ngayon ni Ella dahil sa nakita nya. Kung ako man ang makaalam na ang babaeng kinababaliwan ng dad mo noon ay kamukha ko. Syempre masasaktan ako at magdududa kung tunay ba kong mahal ng daddy mo. Una agad papasok sa isip ko na minahal lang nya ako dahil nakita nya sakin ang babaeng mahal na mahal nya noon." explanation ni mommy. "Pero sinabi ko na kay Ella na mahal ko sya. Mahal na mahal. Why can't she just trust me?" sabi ko. "Because she's hurt. At kapag ang tao nasaktan, nababale wala ang sinasabi ng puso. Papaniwalaan mo lang ang gusto mong paniwalaan kahit pa hindi naman ito ang sinasabi ng puso mo." sabi ni mommy. "What do I have to do?" sabi ko at tinakpan ko na ang mukha ko out of frustration. "Make her feel that you love her. Make her believe with what you say." sabi ni mommy while removing my hands on my face. She kissed me on my forehead and said, "Sometimes the heart can see what the eyes cannot. Help her heart to trust again." I smiled at her. " Thanks mom! you're the best!" "O sya! Gora na anak! Baka mawalan pa ko ng daughter in law! Haha. Goodluck!" sabi nya habang pinagtutulakan ako palabas ng bahay. Haha. No. 1 supporter ko talaga to. Tumakbo na ko palabas ng bahay. Malapit lang naman yung subdivision e. Pero habang tumatakbo ako, naalala ko na naman yung sinabi ni mommy. What if hindi nga si Ella yung tumawag sakin? What if si Kath yun? Well, only one way to find out. After a few minutes, andito na ko sa may playgound ng subdivion nina Quen. I saw a girl sitting on a bench. Long straight hair. Her back is facing me, but I know si Ella na to. Hinawakan ko ang shoulders nya then she faced me. What the hell. "I thought you'll never come.. Bestfriend." si Kath. Niyakap nya ko after she said that. I was deceived by her. Naiinis ako. "Kath?! Why did you say na si Ella ka?" sabi ko at humiwalay na ko sa yakap. "I figure na mas mapapapunta kita dito kung sasabihin kong ako sya." sabi nya with a smile on her face. I don't know why pero naiirita ako. "Anong kailangan mo?" I said coldly. "You. I need you. Antagal nating nagkahiwalay. I missed you.... so much." After she said that, she kissed me. Like, WTF! I tried to get away, pero niyakap nya ko ng mahigpit. Her lips started moving, but I didn't respond. I will only kiss one girl, and that would be Ella. She is so persistent. Kahit na hindi ako nagrerespond, hindi pa rin sya tumitigil. Mamaya-maya, naramdaman kong may nagtulak samin papalayo. Sa sobrang lakas, napaupo si Kath sa damuhan. Napatingin ako dun sa savior kong yun at O____________________O "ELLA!" Oo. Si Ella. My ever selosa girlfriend. Kitang kita sa mata nya ang galit habang nakatingin sya sakin. Papalapit na sana ako sa kanya, pero biglang humarang si Kath. "Heyy. How dare you push me like that! Ikaw si Ella diba? Wow. We look the same. No wonder pinag-aksayahan ka ng panahon nitong si Patrick. We both know kung sino talaga ang mahal nya. At kung hindi mo pa yun alam? Well, let me tell you this. He loves me and he just loved you because you look like me. I bet natatawag ka nyang Kath minsan. Ha-ha. Am I right?" sabi ni Kath. Hihilahin ko na sana sya palayo pero bago ko pa yun magawa.. *SLAP* *SLAP* Sinampal ni Ella si Kath. "HOW DAAAREE YOOOU! Una tinulak mo ko, ngayon sinampal mo ko? Ano ha? Ano bang gusto mong mangyari?!?!?!!?" Galit na galit na sabi ni Kath. Susugurin na sana nya si Ella, pero pinigilan ko sya. "Bitawan mo ko PATRICK! DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID TO ME?!" nagwawala si Kath. "NAKITA KO KATH OKAY. PWEDE BA KUMALMA KA NGA?!" pasigaw kong sabi. Tumahimik na si Kath at napatingin ako kay Ella. She's crying. Nakatayo lang sya, hindi nagsasalita pero patuloy na tumutulo ang luha sa mga mata nya. "O ano. Iyakin ka naman pala e. Mananampal-nampal ka tapos ikaw din iiyak?! Ano ha! Bakit hindi ka magsalita! Kasi ba alam mong kahit anong sabihin mo, hindi ka pa rin mamahalin ng buong buo ni Patrick kasi in the first place, minahal ka lang nya dahil nakita nya sayo ang mukha ko? Ano ha magsal----" *SLAP* And strike 2! Nasampal ulit ni Ella si Kath. "Hanggang sampal ka nalang ba? Haha. Well. Whatever. You can slap me all you want. Hindi na ko gaganti. Alam ko namang malaking sampal na sayo ang malamang hindi ka talaga minahal ni Patrick ng totoo." UGH. KATH. KUNG HINDI KA LANG BABAE. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY ANGEL-LIKE BESTFRIEND? Magsasalita na sana ako, pero nagsalita na si Ella. "I don't have to say a word about how I feel. Hindi na rin naman yun mahalaga e. Oo na. Ikaw na. Ikaw na ang mahal talaga ni Patrick... *sob* Sige na. Tanggap ko nang ako yung girlfriend pero ikaw ang mahal nya. Oo na. Kayo na. Kayo na ang masaya. Lalo ka nang babae ka! Hindi ko alam kung bakit ka nagustuhan nyang si Patrick. Kwento nya mala-anghel ka daw, e bakit parang mala-demonya ka naman yata? At ikaw naman Patrick. Masaya ka na ba ngayon? Ang gandang birthday gift sayo noh? Buhay ang babaeng pinakamamahal mo simula bata palang. *sob* Grabe, walang-wala yung gifts ko sayo. Nahiya naman ako dun." tumigil sya para magpahid ng luha. Ngumiti sya. A smile full of pain. A damn fake smile. "Pero gusto ko lang malaman mo, Patrick... na kahit hindi mo ko minahal talaga, minahal kita ng totoo. Alam mo yun. At alam yun ng puso ko." "*clap* *clap* *clap* Too much drama in here. Sige na, may sasabihin ka pa ba? Abala ka samin ni Patrick e. You may go now." sabi ni Kath kay Ella. "Goodbye Patrick..." and for the last time, she smiled at me. That beautiful sweet innocent smile of hers.

After that smile, she ran away. That instant, tears began flowing from my eyes.

I'm scared. Damn scared.

I'm afraid that I may never see that familiar smile again...