Outerbanks Imagine

Sad - JJ Maybank

You had fun with your friends, but as soon as you got home, the sadness came back. It wasn't like you had a bad day, on the contrary even. You had so much fun with you boyfriend and your friends. But right now, you felt empty. You had forgotten what day it was, until you saw the picture of you and your brother. You felt guilty, that you didn't think about him sooner. You felt sad, because you missed him. There was so many emotions, but also none at the same time. You didn't know what to feel.

You didn't know how you ended up in the shower. You still had your clothes on. You slid down against the shower wall while tears streamed down your face. You didn't make any sound. You couldn't. You felt paralyzed.

"Y/N, are you almost done in there?" you heard your boyfriend yell. You didn't respond to him. "Y/N, answer me please." You opened your mouth to say something, but the words didn't leave your mouth. Then suddenly he stood in front of you.

"What the hell are you doing in here with your clothes on?" he asked as he kneeled down in front of you. You didn't respond to him. You just stared at the wall behind him. "Y/N, baby what's going on?" He got into the shower with you. He sat down on the ground next to you. The water stopped. He pulled you against his chest. Then, the sobs left your mouth.

"I forgot," you cried and more sobs filled the bathroom.

"You forgot what, babe?"

"My brother. Today..."

"Oh shit," he mumbled.

"I forgot, JJ. I forgot that it was today. How could I... how... I..." you weren't making any sense.

"It's okay Y/N. You're living your life. He wouldn't be mad at you for that."

"But I'm mad at me," you cried out. "I forgot about him. I didn't think about him all day. How would that be okay? How is any of this okay?"

"It has been a year, Y/N. He would want you to move on, to live your life. You didn't think about him today, but you thought about him yesterday and you will think of him tomorrow. It's okay to forget sometimes. I know you don't want to hear that, but it is okay. It really is." you didn't answer him. You just cried in his chest.

You cried until your eyes hurt and you were shivering from the cold.

"Come on, let's get out." He stood up. Carefully, he pulled you up and helped you out of your wet clothes. He undressed himself as you sat on the toilet seat. He walked to you bedroom and came back with clothes for your. He helped you get dressed. You walked to your bed and laid down. JJ came a second later and was now wearing clothes too. He laid next to you on the bed and pulled you closer to him.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Can you just put on some music?"

"Of course." JJ pressed a kiss to your forehead before he got out of the bed to put on your speaker. He put on a playlist he made with all your favorite slow songs. July by Noah Cyrus was the first one to come up.

"Maybe we should go," you quietly said.

"Go where?" JJ asked.

"I don't know. The Bahamas. Anywhere but here."

"I always wanted to go to Yucatan."

"Then let's go to Yucatan."

"We can't just pack our bags and go Y/N."

"I wish we could," you mumbled.

The next song came up and you got the tears in your eyes. It Will Rain by Bruno Mars was always the favorite song of your brother. He loved Bruno and even went to a concert of his once. You gave him the tickets and he went with one of his friends, because you were sick the day of the concert. You haven't listened to Bruno ever since your brother passed away, but hearing it right now, it somehow felt like he was closer to you. Like he was laying on your bed next to you instead of JJ. You quietly sang along with the song, while you thought of your brother. JJ was right. He didn't want you to be sad laying in bed crying. You had done that. It was okay to not think of him every day, even though you felt guilty when you didn't. You needed to live your life.

"You're right," you said to JJ.

"About what?"

"Me needing to live my life."

"I thought about what I said. Why don't we go surfing tomorrow with everyone, honoring your brother?"

"Sounds like a good idea. Thank Jay."

"Always, baby," he said and kissed your head.