In This Lifetime

Chapter 9: Confusion

"Hey Bright, would you mind if I ask you something?" I shyly asked as we are now staring at the beautiful city lights of Bangkok from Sofitel's rooftop deck. Bright and I decided to chill here for awhile after we ate our dinner.

The crisp wind gently swifts through horizon, adding a nice ambiance as I sigh and feel my chest suddenly becoming heavy.

"What is it?" He then looked at me with curious eyes and I tried to bite my lip just to suppress the tension I always feel every time he looks at me with those enticing eyes.

"W--why are you doing this?" I stuttered but I tried to stop myself from holding back. It's just that, it's making me ask him about it for a while now. "I mean, you suddenly just appeared in my life again and now I can't even catch up." I nervously chuckled as I try to look away from his piercing gaze.

"I just want to enjoy as much as I can while I'm here." He said and I can feel his voice changing its tone. I looked at him and he is now staring blankly in front of him. I felt his sadness slowly unraveling as his lips curved into a crooked smile.

"But why should it be with me though," I said as-a-matter-of-fact and tried to laugh just to lift up the atmosphere. I really don't like it when I see someone sad about something because it makes me sad too. "You have Rosie." I gently said as my throat became dry.

"We just lasted for 6 months, Win." He breathily said and it made me look at him twice. I didn't know that? It's like a span of semester only, so it means he's been single all this time???

Why do you care Win, you stupid asshole.

"What? Why? I just saw you two talking the other day!" I said curiously as my eyes won't leave his and it made him smirk. Did I sound interested?

"She was too controlling to be honest. She always tries to know where I go or even every text that I send. It's just too much, Win. She always gets jealous when I talk to my friends, even if they're guys! I always assured her that I'll never do such thing that might compromise our relationship because I never did!" He exclaimed and I can sense the frustration in his voice.

"It's just that, she became possessive of me. And our relationship became unhealthy, so I decided to break up with her because I needed to respect myself too and she agreed. And I moved on and I'm happy now." He sighed and it was a sign of relief. I didn't know this happened when they were still in a relationship and that's because I never had any news about them since we're not in the same faculty.

"When you saw us talking that time, she was asking for me to come back for her." I looked at his eyes and I couldn't see his emotions. My hands began to tremble as I wait the words that will come from his mouth.

"D-did you... agree?" I bit my lip as I prevent my voice to become shaky. My heart is pounding so hard I can't almost breathe.

"Of course not Win." I let out a heavy sigh and looked away just to hide my uneasiness from awhile ago. That was a fucking relief. "I told her it's not going to work anymore. Yes I loved her, but it's enough. And that she should let me go." He smiled and I sensed it's delicateness. He looked happy, and I hope I could also find the happiness he already has.

"I'm happy for you, Bright. I hope you're okay now." I softly said and it made him grin from ear to ear. He looks funny, but it's cute. It's not that I want them to break up or something. I just want him to be happy— happiness that is truly genuine and sincere. Even if I'm not the reason behind his smiles, I promised to myself that I'll always be right there for him as long as he's happy, even if it means breaking myself from the inside.

"Let's not talk about that anymore. What about you, Win?" He faced me and it made me feel uneasy again. This type of conversations that involves my feelings and things that's currently happening to me right now really is uncomfortable. And to add with the pressure, I'm with the person that I like! Damn..

"W-what?" I breathily said and he chuckled.

"Are you happy?" he smiled and I bit my lip. Am I happy? Without any inhibitions?

I sighed and stared at the luster of lights coming from the busy city of Bangkok. The pitch black sky emphasizes the tall buildings scattered throughout. It is a scene that makes you admire. It is a sight that makes you happy. "I'm happy Bright," I lied. "You know I always look at things in a different perspective, even if some things are quite hard to understand sometimes." I said and my lips gently curved into a sad smile.

"I know there's something wrong, Win." He smiled at me and it made me look at him suspiciously. He laughed at my reaction and then snaked his arm around my shoulders while he's looking at the skyscrapers that dominate the skyline. I was taken a back and I didn't know what to say.

"I'm your bestfriend, and I'll always know if something is bothering your mind. It's alright if you're not ready to talk about something you are not comfortable with, Win. But please always remember that I'm always here when you need me. I'm always here when you need someone to talk to." He looked at me with an assuring smile and it made me blush. I pushed him away slightly just to get away from the uneasiness and he laughed.

"You're too clingy, stop bothering me!" I nervously snarled and he grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the rooftop deck.

"Let's go. You need to take a rest."

~

"Thank you so much for today Bright." I smiled at him as the car is now pulled over in front of my condominium. Tonight made me at ease, and it helped me to cope up with the stress brought by my school works.

"You're welcome." He smirked and I immediately got out of his car after I bid him goodbye.

A notification from my phone quickly pulled my attention and it made my whole system be in chaos. Why does he makes me feel that there is something, even if I know there isn't any?

I'm really confused... And it's making my heart flutter.

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Author's Note

What are your thoughts? Your comments are deeply appreciated guys! 🙏🏻

Thank you for reading and have a nice day ahead! ❤️
-k