Raw [Vkook]

121: Confronting the Parents

Black Swan (Orch. Version) - BTS [I strongly recommend this]

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Nothing has ever been stable in Jungkook's mind these days.

It's almost like he's breathing but poisoned by the air, so he's drowning and choking instead of properly gasping for air. Little by little that squeeze tightens until there's nothing but fragments of black spots and blurred tears with the glass of that one flower in his life that's now fluttering away, like ashes of diamonds along the wind.

The thing about those shards of glass now is that they're forming something together, and that's an even bigger glass and forcefully stabbing directly to Jungkook's heart. Sometimes Jungkook can move along a day, feeling that faint pain rubbing and growing only bigger whenever he tried to breathe, but sometimes it's too painful to even wake up.

To painful to even sleep.

And the worse part is that the shard of glass won't come off.

He's tried to get closer with Little Gem, leaning on him or his sister, but the wound only digs deeper and when he's alone, he screams. The worse part must be the remaining pieces of that diamond ash reaching out to him, like Ten and Taemin, comforting his wounded soul of his grief but that glass is still attached to his heart and it won't come off.

The glass he stabbed himself with.

It's funny really. They say the worse sense of betrayal is from those who stabbed you in the back when you least expect it, but that is nothing to the betrayal one does to their own self.

You betray the signs.

You don't try hard enough.

You caused someone else pain.

And you are the fault of your own guilt.

Days upon days Jungkook has tried so hard to blame anyone; His sister for not looking after Woosung, his brother for not telling him about Taehyung sooner, Ten and Taemin for not stopping him from doing something stupid.

But..... Jungkook is just pointing fingers at this point until he pointed it at himself.

He should've called.

He shouldn't have said those things to him.

He should've texted him.

He should've answered fast enough......

That's only one pile of the guilt. The other pile being his father and his stupid decision on trusting anyone in the first place.

He's not safe in school.

His home.

No where because his father already knows where he is.

His fault that he didn't escape farther enough.

There's so much guilt Jungkook carries in his chest as he stumbles down the familiar neighborhood, feeling the pile upon pile of emotions pile up like a vile in his body. Everything around him seems blurred, feeling like a walking soul with no emotions yet it almost feels like no one can see him.

If he screams will they notice?

Ha, of course they wouldn't.

Jungkook can feel the crumbling pieces of his life he's formed slip past his fingers, now hearing the sound of his heart beating so loud against his ears as it tightens every muscle in his chest. Everyone counted on him to move forward, to set a good example, to pursuit his dream.