BROKEN - to be healed by her (manan ff)✔️

65: Rising!

Manik's pov:

" I tried Nandini..tried so hard to pretend I was okay that nothing was wrong...that I was holding up but the truth was I wasn't..ever..I was never anything close to being okay! The piled-up frustration went on increasing as the days passed..harsh dadu was there always, trying to distract me with his various tricks and dadi showered all her love and pampering on me but everything was a waste for their sake I put up a happy facade but deep down the void never left...I was captive in my despair so much that I failed to see all the good around me.

I starting drifting apart and isolating myself emotionally, having lost dadu and di consecutively within a few years took a toll on me, I thought there was something wrong with me..Nyonika was right..I didn't deserve anything close to love. I let that lady get her means. I let her make me believe that I was completely useless as a human being and nobody ever will be by me.

Months passed and nothing changed...my life seemed to have an abrupt halt since the day of di's death...I had lost my capacity to feel joy...I felt awful to see harsh dadu and dadi's face fall Every time their efforts didn't work...I was helpless Nandini..every night my mind would only roam around the possibilities...around all those webs of what if's.

In these months I met cabir he had lost his parents in an unfortunate incident and since then used to stay with his relatives we clicked good, even though I had my walls held high for him as well but he being the crazy soul he is was adamant to get past it and did.

In few weeks I was sharing a part of my life with him, Being the good friend that he is he had my back whenever I broke down or had a panic attack, he was the only one who knew about my recurring nightmares. I told him every little thing about di a few over and over again like a kid and he heard all of it like a patient mother.

He gets it all for keeping me sane through the years, I once mentioned to him about di's fondness for architecture and how she wanted to run her firm, her undying determination towards her ambition was one of the many things I looked up to. It was him then who encouraged me to perceive architecture, he was my motivation throughout I was losing myself in misery and he couldn't bear that so he suggested to me this knowing that I won't deny since it had to do with di.

He convinced me after great efforts, in all of this I lost the one thing that gave me peace..music..di introduced me to music..at first her lullaby's and slowly her fondness towards the same rubbed off on me but without her, beside, I didn't have the heart to play...so I let go of it and immersed myself in my studies.

I did pretty well, studies came as a distraction and so I spent most of my time doing it..trying to keep my inner demons at bay...dadu and dadi had to leave for Sydney due to some issues there..at first they were hesitant of leaving me by myself but I assured them about my well-being they had to give in considering their need back there.

My schedule for the first few days after their departure went as planned with no major changes, the well-trained staff looked after my wants to their best abilities I had nothing to complain about. With the house being empty cabir paid occasional visits he too was into architecture but my senior..we spent a good time together albeit at some point I was alone with my haunting thoughts...I hated those voices, those images....those terrifying nightmares, and like most of the nights I used to wake up patting..scared and lonely.

One day I saw a group of guys in the backyard of our college acting funnily, they were one of those popular college groups..finding it weird and my sense altering me of the trouble. I went away minding my business but a guy saw me and called me over. unwilling I went towards them and as close as I went the red flags went up higher ignoring every gut I joined them.

The moment I sat I knew what exactly was the scenario, I stood upright denying their offer of joining them. I went off as quickly as I can and breathed a sigh of relief.