BROKEN - to be healed by her (manan ff)✔️

77 : Breaking of the dawn!

Manik's pov:

" What Connected you and Avya the most, Manik?" Dr.Navya's honeyed tone hit my ears taking me back to the most beautiful phase I have ever lived, the time with my di. Yes! It was my second therapy session and over time the warm and complacent ambiance of her clinic engulfed me, the place felt safe almost secure to vent all the little things I had held up all along, it came as a haven for my demons to show up in all its glory.

"I and di had a connection to deep to be sufficed by words if I go ahead and explain...it was the most beautiful thing..ever...out of stories, plays, feelings, agony, and love what connected us the most was music. We used to spend hours trying to create melodies together, with di's soothing voice and the magic her finger birthed as she strummed the guitar chords or molded the Casio keys...

It was her songs, her compositions which were my lullabies growing up. She loved singing although as a hobby but nobody was and will ever be as graceful as her when with her instruments...her love for guitar and music drives me towards it, stealthily before I knew it clutched my soul like no other, I found my peace in music.

My life stayed interlaced in the guitar chords ever since even the times when...di...started behaving oddly I turned to music for it to soothe me and like all the other times it didn't deceive me." with the croaky voice I spoke trying hard to not let the floating tears drop with every word my eyes went blurry as those memories, those times when we were happy walloped me.

" It's okay Manik! You don't need to hold it to yourself...it's fine if you cry, you can confide in me." Navya reassured me while she held up a glass of water and beckoned me to gulp it down, I grasped the glass and gulped a few sips. Those flashes had no end I closed my eyes to get a grip over my haywire emotions but that didn't help...the voice of us giggling as we ran behind one another in the lush shrubs and meadow of Mehra mansion, di's laughter, yells, cries all of it was getting way more discernible.

I grasped my hair tightly wanting those voices to stop, but they didn't...I felt trapped.

" Manik....it's okay...it's fine. relax I have got you..try and take deep breaths okay...yes...there you are..just calm down." It was Navya's monotonous voice that timidly took over all the other sounds, I still didn't have an upper hand over my emotions...it was all over the place, I was weeping feebly, wet in my sweat. My fingers shaky and my face red.

Navya kept assuring me with her subtle words that albeit slowly helped me a lot to calm down...after a few very long minutes I was a little better than I had been.

Weary...I reclined on the chair while my breaths fought to catch the luxury of normalcy...A while later, looking up to Navya I found a comforting smile of her's greeting me.

" Better?" she inquired and I nodded.

" I thought opening up to Nandini would help me get better and it did, I felt so much more comfortable and at peace than before. Then how do I still am unable to control my emotions..why does it still make me feel...like..this...so restless...so anxious. It is not the same with Nandini, there have been quite a few mentions about my childhood back and forth but never have I been this anxious, I have reacted like this after so long...I thought...I thought I was getting better...it was all falling into place." I spoke, my voice dripping despair.

" No Manik, it is falling into place...see before even the mention of it would have you restless and run for sanity but look at you now at least there is someone with whom conversations like this hold comfort, you are getting better...Manik opening up about your trauma is only one step it's not the end, trauma can get better they definitely can but you need to put in efforts from your side to make it good. Now at the least u have started making conversations about it and that's great and now..slowly we'll work towards you making peace with that part of your life...okay?" Navya's words did make me feel okay if not the best, I knew there was a journey for me to trample on a road towards emotional and mental stability.