To the Stars | Throne of Glass

59

Two weeks at sea, and Celaena was beginning to tire of the same old decks and dusty cabin. The food wasn't much better - gruel on good days, stale bread on others. Ben gave most of what little he received to Celaena and Eli. There were still around ten days till Antica, though. And with each passing hour, Eli seemed to liven slightly - excited. He'd even finally decided to leave the confines of the cabin to wander along the decks, though he grew seasick and had to retire barely an hour later. Still, better than nothing. 

Celaena passed time by drawing on the often-misty porthole, tracing the distant shapes of ships and the straight horizon - almost as if one had drawn a line between the sky and sea with a ruler. Sometimes she and Ben would spar when there were less people about. And though Eli didn't appear above deck much, Celaena and Ben still took turns in teaching him, improving his weapons-handling in their cabin. No one who saw them training questioned why they did so, or why they had so many weapons with them. It was most likely mainly from fear. Celaena was fine with the space.

~

Nine days later, they caught sight of land. It was still distant, but Celaena's knees nearly went weak with relief at seeing solid land. The Southern Continent. 

She spent the whole day with Eli, guiding him through as many manoeuvres and skills as possible. Arobynn had said they were to leave him at Antica, and journey no further, so Eli had to be prepared, to be able to defend himself. 'If you need to run to somewhere safe, the Torre is your best shot. Because-'

'I don't have anyone else.'

Eli looked up at her, eyes wide and shining. 'You have Ben.' She said nothing, and Eli said, 'My parents were killed when I was five.'

Celaena swallowed. 'I'm sorry.'

The door creaked, and swung open. Celaena knew it was Ben from the gait of his steps. She put down her daggers. 'Are you good?' he asked Eli. Eli nodded. Ben walked over to her. 'Are you good?'

'Ask yourself. All you're doing these days is ask us how we are. Ben, are you okay?' she retorted, though not unkindly. Ben stood behind her, and wrapped his arms round her shoulders. 'Your wellbeing is more important than mine.'

Celaena watched Eli who had retreated to his bed, giving no signs he was paying attention to their small exchange. 'Not true,' she said to Ben.

He pecked the top of her head. 'Don't worry. I'm managing.' 

Celaena nestled into his body, closing her eyes in comfort. 'I love you,' she said into his chest. Words couldn't convey what rushed through her each time she was with Ben. It was like soft peace, a gentle warmth, like rushing water. Only that it soothed her, instead of encourage the nightmares. 

He pressed his lips to her head again. She liked that. Not the squelching and sucking and smacking of lips on lips... Celaena shuddered. Maybe one day. But for now, romantic relationships were out of the question. 'The Captain says we should be in the port by sunrise. Get some rest now. It's almost seven o'clock.'

~

Five o'clock in the morning, Celaena was standing on the prow of the ship as it glided into Antica's port. Ben was still inside with Eli. She decided that he would probably be a better comfort than her.

~

Eli shuddered, hugging his knees. 'I'm scared,' he whispered. 'I don't like this.'

Celaena sank onto his haunches to gaze into his eyes. 'I know, I know.' There was nothing she could say to comfort him. 'I'm sorry,' she said. 'You will have to make this journey alone.' 

He sobbed, 'I've spent too much of my life alone.' She gripped his hand. Eli moaned, 'Do you know what it is like to be alone? That there's no one there for you? That you just exist, as a shadow?'

Celaena paused. There was a long silence, filled by the wind and creak of wooden planks. 'I don't have anyone either.' She said it quieter than she wanted.

Eli buried his face in his palms. 'You don't understand. You don't know.'

A deep roaring filled her ears. 'I do know.'

'No you don't. Youdontyoudontyou-'

'Eli!' she roared. 'Listen to me!' Even the wind seemed to fall silent. Eli jumped, and froze. The tears fell faster. 'Eli. I do know. I understand. I can't- I can't tell you more, but I understand. The loneliness, the despair, the anger, the sorrow, all of it. I don't have parents. And I haven't for a long while.'

Eli finally stilled. Celaena took that as acceptance. 'Be brave,' she said to him. 

~

The Captain shouted, and the boat juddered as it came to a halt beside the dock. She turned, and Eli and Ben came into view. Passengers began to file off the boat. Ben patted Eli's shoulder. 'Here's where we leave you. Remember, the Torre is five miles South, past the city.'

But his gaze wasn't on Ben. His large, grey-green eyes, clear and beautiful, were fixed on Celaena. She took one step towards him, and leaned down.

'Go, Eli,' she whispered into his ear. 'Go. Run, and don't look back.'