Rollacoaster -Oscar Diaz

It's my life

I sat quietly in the car staring outside the window as my dad silently drove us home. Everything was tense,what the doctor said still lingering in the air. My eyes were puffy,my head pounding and my heart was still stuck in the pit it fell in.

Never in a million years would I ever thought everything would end up like this. I was still trying to grasp and wrap my head around it all.

I had a brain tumour,and I was possibly not even going to make it to my 20th Birthday.

My mind flashed to Jamal, Jasmine, Chico,Pablo,Benji and especially Oscar. I had this whole future planned out in my head and now it might not happen.

I quietly got out of the car with both of my parents trailing behind me. Once inside I sat on the couch crossing my legs staring at the TV.

"I should have never let her move back here with you." I glanced at my mum who sat there leaning on her hand a solemn look in her eyes.

"Never?" My dad questioned matching her energy "Are we going to forget the fact that it was your sick husband that also made her move here?." He glared

I sunk into my seat staring at the both of them as they squared up.

"Oh shut it. If you hadn't cheated we wouldn't have ended up in New York."

"So this is my fault?" Dad narrowed his eyes at her pointing to himself

Oh god

"It sure as hell isn't mine. She moved here for you and what do you do? Leave her by herself and what happened to her? She got jumped,ended up in a coma for four fucking months,and that's probably why she has a fucking tumour in her brain." My mum shouted and I sunk even deeper in the chair.

"We're not going to sit here and put all the blame on me. This is your fault too."

This was no one's fault. Neither of them nor I would've ever predicted this.

"No I am not going to let this go because you're the reason now that my daughter will end up dying." She then started crying.

I was on the brink of losing my shit with how much they were arguing. It was a constant back and forth between the two of who was to blame for all of this.

True if I never move to freeridge I would've probably been in New York safe and sound,none of the things that's happened to me here would've happened but if I had stayed in New York I had no idea what would've happened , if the idiot husband would've ever left me alone. I wasn't going to lie and say that I haven't thought about that the entire ride from the hospital. How would my life be if I didn't move here.

If I hadn't met Oscar I wouldn't have been introduced to this life, but what if I did meet him but he didn't claim me, then maybe I wouldn't have been on the Prophets radar and I would've been jumped and maybe..just maybe I wouldn't be in this situation.

But was it okay to put the blame on Oscar?

I couldn't and I wasn't. Meeting him was the one thing I don't regret doing. And if this is how I'm meant to leave this earth,as much as it hurts me I was going to allow it.

I zoned back into the room to my parents arguing heatedly. I bit my lip the pounding headache making its way back once again. They were talking over one another, none of them actually listening to each other, they were hurting yes but putting the blame on the other wasn't going to help the situation or make it go away.

"Can you both just stop!" I said loudly and thankfully they did.

"Look, this is not the time to have an argument. I just found out that I have a huge ass tumour in my brain, I might die anytime soon and I don't want to spend my last days around you two if you're only going to argue.." I looked at the two of them my eyes then narrowing on my mum "...I don't regret coming to Freeridge and I told you that, my condition doesn't change that. I know you two are hurting but imagine how I feel..." I looked down feeling the tears once again.

"I just got my life back, I'm about to graduate,I wanted to go to college make a name for myself. I had a lot of things planned and I just found out that none of that might happen." I let the tears run down my cheeks.

"Baby we're sorry.." my dad walked over to me sitting on the arm of the chair wrapping his arms around me my mother following his actions.

"I don't think I want to do chemotherapy." They both pulled away looking down at me but I stared straight ahead.

"What do you mean no? This is the only hope we have Leigh-Anne we need to try and cure you." My mum frowned

I chuckled dryly
"This is A Grade 4 tumour mum. I've read and seen what chemo does to people and I don't want to go through the process and fill anyone of you with some sort of hope only for me to end up dead."

"Leigh don't say that." My father muttered but I was telling the truth

"You're the one that always said everything happens for a reason dad." I whispered sniffing.

"But there's no reason for this. You don't deserve this." He cried. In all my hears of life I've never seen my father cry that much and it pained me because I knew the tears weren't going to stop.

"Just try Chemo baby. You deserve a fighting chance." My mum pleaded.

"This is my life mum."