Unleashed in February (Behind The Month #1)

29

29, I was wrong

It's like a replay.

Only that Sherra's situation is more complicated than what I had three months ago.

Ang siguro'y parehas na napala namin sa mga gawain, nakadulot kami ng problema sa pamilya. With what she has told me, her family seems to loathe her actions which had something to do with Hope. Isa pang parehas na bagay sa sitwasyon naming dalawa, si Hope ang tila naging susi para maayos ang lahat.

He helped me out with my problems, and now... it's Sherra who's in need of him. Pero kung ilalahad ang tunay na mangyayari kung sasamahan niya si Sherra sa pagresolba ng problema, wala ng katapusan iyon sigurado. Kung hindi si Hope ang makakatuluyan niya, hindi na siya mapapatawad ng pamilya. Ganoon ang pagka-intindi ko sa sinabi ni Sherra sa'kin nang araw na iyon.

To make it short, the help that Hope will give would be endless, if the fate will favor them upon being together. Hope and I only had a fake relationship but that won't be the case for Sherra and him.

Today marks the first day of February. This is actually the shortest month of the year and it is also probably, the month that I've been waiting for.

Ang pangako ko sa sarili ko, sa buwan na ito magtatapos ang aming pagpapanggap. This could've been easy to do if only Hope didn't create a chaotic and calming part in my head at the same time. Sa mga lumipas na araw, hindi nagmintis ang paraan niya upang mapasaya ako. I can't tell exactly if he sees my worries and if they're actually that visible on my face each time we're together.

I just can't find the strength to smile so much and be glad for the things he does for me, knowing that somebody else is currently experiencing a painful and problematic situation.

Kinabukasan nang araw na magkita kami ni Sherra, araw ng Sabado iyon ay nag-chat siya sa'kin. It wasn't what I expected though because I knew she was really mad at me.

Sherra: Sorry for what I've said yesterday. It got out of hand and I was just so frustrated. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Patong patong na ang problema ko. Please don't tell Hope.

I didn't know what to do then. Hindi ko alam kung anong irereply ko dahil sa totoo lang, nasaktan din talaga ako. Hearing her opinions about me was a sharp attack to my heart. She thinks I'm only playing innocent, I'm hiding my real womanly emotions inside and is acting like I don't like boys romantically. Marami pa siyang sinabi.

Ang hindi ko lang masyadong maintindihan, bakit parang labag sa loob niya ang ginawa niya? Na para bang ako ang may kasalanan sa huli dahil hindi siya nagustuhan? Another thing, I failed to ask her if she was forced to do it with Hope. But then, I don't... really think she was forced. And Hope is not that kind of guy.

"Ano ba talagang problema? Halos dalawang linggo ka ng gan'yan..." Hope tsked while peeling the banana that he's holding on one hand.

Regardless of how busy he is these days with his course, he always end up being with me like he's allotting some time for me. Today, even if our lunch break aren't the same, he managed to join me still.

Nanatili akong tahimik at mula sa panonood sa mga gumegewang na halaman sa may ilalim ng pader, inangat ko ang mga mata sa mukha ni Hope. So he really had...

Kinagat ko ang aking labi. Hindi naman siguro magsisinungaling si Sherra tungkol sa nangyari sa kanila. Kinuha ko ang saging sa kamay niya at kinagatan na iyon. I moved my gaze away from him because it's just making my heart crumpled more.

"Erin..." tawag niya.

Hindi ako nagsalita. Halos kada araw yata ay nawawalan na ako ng lakas para sa kahit anong bagay. Ito ang problema sa'kin, tuwing may bumabagabag sa isipan, napakahirap ibaling sa ibang bagay ang atensyon. And when I do, at the end of the day, whatever's inside my head would still scream and find its way to chase me. Hanggang hindi nasosolusyunan ang problema, hindi ako matatahimik.