Unleashed in February (Behind The Month #1)

36

36, To offer help

Hindi na naulit pa ang usapang iyon sa bahay. I'm sure papa also knows about how I fooled them, yet he was silent about it. My siblings, especially my brothers who were unaware of it before, were also quiet.

I feel like they had a conversation about this while I wasn't around. And they agreed to keep silent. Though it's not too hard to tell that my brothers have inner anger for that matter, I totally understand them.

Sila naman talaga ang sobrang napaniwala noon. 'Tsaka... alam kong boto sila kay Hope, lalo na si Kuya Oxenn.

And now that they know it was all fake, I wonder what they think. Galit kaya sila sa kanya?

For the whole summer, it was either I'd be at home doing nothing or I'd be at Kuya Benjamin's house. He rarely talks to me because maybe, he just can't say it but he was mad at me. Mabuti na lang at naroon ang asawa niya para libangin ako. I would only go there to spend some bonding time with Stacy. And because I am worried about their opinions of Hope, I clearly explained to both of my brothers that he wasn't to blame, or that... he didn't really want to join me in what I did. I explained, thinking that it's the right way to offer help in removing their anger on him.

They're still silent about it though, and so I don't know if they have accepted my sincere explanations.

Samantala, sina mama naman, abala sa nalalapit na panganganak ni Ate Mirrae kaya madalas ang pagluwas nila pa-Batangas. At kaysa maiwan ako sa bahay, sa kanila Kuya Benj ako tumutuloy.

It was the most different summer vacation I had from the past years. This is only the time when... no physical image of Hope appeared, even once. It's quite suffocating to know how much things have changed, really. I don't know what kept him busy for those whole two months because honestly, dalawang beses lang yata niya akong nakausap tapos sa phone pa.

Baka... sa negosyo nila, busy siya roon. 'Tsaka... kay Sherra.

If this is just like how we were before, I won't hesitate to invite him over, or me, to go straight to their house after informing him about it. Dati nagagawa naman namin iyon kahit may girlfriend siya dahil wala naman talagang malisya. But now of course I know it's not right to do that anymore. After all that's happened... the time he asked for me to give him, to set space for the both of us isn't something I should feel bad about.

At least, okay na rin na paminsan-minsan ay kinakamusta niya ako.

Fr: Hope

Kumusta? Naka-enroll ka na?

Alone in the house, I laid my body down on the couch and stared at my phone. I know after I answered that, about two to three replies then our talk would end. Isang linggo na lang pasukan na naman. It's my third year, and Hope's finally... graduating.

I smiled sadly and typed my response.

To: Hope

Okay lang. Ikaw? Kumusta? Enrolled na ako, no. Ako pa ba?

Fr: Hope

Enrolled na rin.

To: Hope

Wow. Graduating kanaaa!! Di mo deserve

It took him a few minutes before he was able to send me his reply.

Fr: Hope

Hahahahah

I let my phone die on its own as I stared on his last message. What should I reply to that?

It was always like that. Sometimes it will end naturally after telling each other that we're both fine. Kahit minsan nilalagyan ko ng kwela ang mga sinasabi ko, nanlalamig pa rin ako dahil kahit ano talagang gawin ko, sobrang halata na ang diperensya sa kung paano kami noon. There's just this silent gap that is resting in between us and it's sad because I don't have the guts to confront him about it.