Crazy Love (COMPLETED)

Chapter thirty three: Love

DIANNE

I am crying hard. Napapasuntok sa dibdib at gustong magwala. I am talking to Maddieson's Psychiatrist which Lori recommended. I know it's envading her privacy again, but I want to know what happen to her. Na sana hindi ko na inalam.

"She's having a hard time whenever someone is touching her. Even to me, at first, she's trembling and freaking out. That's why most of time we're doing the session into her house. That's normal reaction to someone who got rape. I advised her to sue them, but she refuse, fear is consuming her. And I don't want to overdo her. It will take a lot of time for her to heal. But I will certainly do my best to help her."

"Damn it! Alex, find those fucking assholes that.... that.... fuck! I'm gonna kill all of them!" I see red all over, wala akong pakialam kung mabasag ko ang lahat sa bahay na to.

I am crying because of so much anger and pity for Maddie. Gusto kong buhayin at patayin ulit si Audrey kung posible lang sana.

"Please don't show that kind of violence to her."

We're doing a video call, dahil ayokong makaabot sa kaalaman ni Maddie na ginagawa ko ang bagay na to.

Nagugulat pa din ako at hindi matanggap ang lahat ng nangyari sa kanya. At sa lahat ng pinagdaanan niya, mas napapatunayan ko na kasalanan ko ang lahat.

"I-is... fuck... Will she gonna be alright?" pinipigilan ko ang galit na siyang pangunahing emosyon ko sa ngayon. I am literally trembling because of so much anger.

"I hope so. As I've said, it will take a lot of time. And good thing she is willing to cooperate. It is not my first time experience with my expertise, but she is my first case in a gang rape."

Fuck.

Napapikit ako sa labis na galit. Gusto kong basagin lahat at magwala. Ini imagine ko pa lang ang lahat ng sinasabi ng doktor, nanginginig na ko sa galit. That's the fucking reason why she is acting like that. At lahat yun, kasalanan ko.

Hindi ko na magawang tapusin ang iba pang sinabi ng doktor, umalis ako doon at nagtungo sa aking kwarto. I get my phone and dialed Em's number.

"Love, I messed up." hindi ko na mapigilan ang maiyak. Hindi ko lubos maisip kung bakit pinagdaanan lahat ni Maddieson ang bagay na yun.

"D? Dianne? W-what the- - - . . . Asan ka? Bakit ka umiiyak? Are you okay?"

Hindi ako makasagot. Iyak lang ako ng iyak, nasasaktan sa sinapit ni Maddie.

"Fucking motherfucket! Can you please explain?! Where are you?!" hindi na ko nagulat na boses na ni Syd ang nasa kabilang linya. "Stop making my wife worried! She is pregnant for God's sake!"

Hindi na ko nagulat sa sinabi niya, matagal na yung gusto ni Em and so as Syd. Hindi na ko nasasaktan, mas naiinggit ang nararamdaman ko.

I want to have my own too.

Pero mukhang malabo na.

"Sorry. I'm fine." pinilit kong magpakahinahon, "Well, congrats."

"Tss. Asshole. Speak now. Dahil kapag hindi maganda ang paliwanag mo, talagang makakatikim ka sa kin sa ginagawa mong pag-aalala sa asawa- - - . . ."

"I'm inlove. I... fuck. I love her Syd." it's fucking hit me real hard nang gabi na barilin siya ni Audrey sa harapan ko. Ang tanga tanga ko na noon ko lang nareliaze ang lahat-lahat ng nararamdaman ko.

She was not a fucking rebound after all.

I loved her eversince. Hindi ko alam kung paanong hindi ko yun nakita noon. Masyado akong nabulag sa kaisipang si Em lang ang makakapag patibok ng puso ko, when infact, it was not love anymore. It was just a strong affection towards Emerald. Like a shield when my world is so messed up back then.

"Tell me this is not my wife your talking about."

Gago talaga.

"Tss. Your wife is not the only woman in the world. Mas maganda si Maddie sa kanya. So dream on."

"Good. But hey, my wife is the most beautiful girl in the world."

"In your fucking eyes- - - . . ."

"Tss. May I remind you that you 'once' fell inlove with MY wife.

Once. . .

No doubt about it, but when it was faded? Yun ang hindi ko alam, kaya nangyari ang lahat ng ito dahil sa katangahan ko.

"What will I do?" totoong naguguluhan ako ngayon kung anong gagawin. This is the first time that I don't know what to do. Sa sobrang taas ng confident ko pagdating sa babae, ngayon kay Maddie, tiklop ako.

"Really? Hahahaha."

Jerk, asshole, motherfucker Syd. Tss.

Binabaan ko siya ng tawag. Hindi ko matanggap ang pagiging masaya niya sa kamiserablehan ko ngayon.

From: Syd

Seriously? You don't know what to do? Confess, jerk. Kailan pa nabahag ang buntot mo? As far as I remember, lahat ng self confidence sinagap mo. Tss. Tell her you love her. No need anything, just tell her asshole.

From: Syd

By the way, bring her here. My wife is very eager to meet her. Para na rin masiraan kita at mareliaze niya how unlucky she is. 🤣😏

Tss.

It took me an hour bago makadecide na puntahan si Maddie. Para akong mababaliw kung hindi ko siya makikita ngayon. Lalo na sa mga nalaman ko. I want to be with her side. Kahit na hindi ko pa siya magawang kausapin, just a mere sight of her sobrang sapat na.

I grab my keys and drive into her house. As of the moment, after the incident, she is staying with Mayn. Kaya hirap na hirap  akong makita siya, ang tindi ba naman ng bantay. I just wish na nandun si Mark.

Well, not all wishes do come true. Tss.

"Ano na namang ginagawa mo dito?" nakasiring agad na bungad ni Mayn.

Kahit na gusto ko na siyang patulan hindi ko magawa, dahil I truly understand where his anger is coming from.

"I just want to see her - - - . . ."

"Tss. Palagi mo na ngang nakikita ang kapatid ko. Ano bang balak mo? Sulyap lang palagi? What are you? A fucking teenager. Tss." niluwagan niya ang pinto para makapasok ako, hindi ko maiwasang magulat, dahil dati tatadtarin niya muna ako ng mura at sumbat bago ako papasukin. "Stop being coward. Naiirita na ako sa pagmumukha mo pabalik balik dito. Talk to her para alam mo ng wala kang babalikan."

Daig ko pa ang sinipa sa sinabi niya. That is the fucking reason kung bakit naduduwag akong kausapin siya.

Rejection.

Natatakot ako na sabihin mismo ni Maddie sa mukha ko na layuan na siya.

Tangina.

Laglag ang balikat na dumiretso ako sa kwarto niya para sumilip. Alam kong tulog siya kapag ganitong oras, I have her schedule medicines intake. Kaya naman halos tumakbo ako paalis when I saw her sitting on her bed. Na parang inaantay ako.

"M-maddie. . . ."

"H-hi. . ."

This is the first time after that day na nakita ko siyang gising in flesh. Her eyes is not as cold before. Even her aura is back to being warm. But I still see sadness.

"K-kamusta?"

Napalunok ako ng marining kong muli ang boses niya. Boses pa lang iyon, pero para na akong hinahabol sa lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko.

"Tatayo ka na lang diyan?" nakangusong sabi niya sabay irap sa akin.

Fuck.

That fucking gesture.

I didn't hold back and run to her. I hug her tightly, naiiyak na nayayakap ko na siya.

"I- - - . . . I'm so s-sorry. . . "