Sins Of The Mother (TRLS)

Chapter 11

TRIGGER WARNING: depression/ suicide related content.

"Where would you like me to put this Miss Roslyn?" Hermelda asked holding up a vase with roses. "Those would look lovely in the entry way don't you think?" Hermelda was making the house look more presentable and unpacking more boxes we hadn't got to yet. Last night came as such a shock to me. Those clowns think they can force me to marry someone! I knew that arranged marriages were popular amongst the stars but I just didn't think it was like this.

If I didn't comply with them they would take me to court. They would take everything from me. My mind raced to find a solution but how could I change the mind of 4 produces and whoever else they told of this plan. People would get suspicious if they just dropped this idea. This would mean destroying my contract with them. I can't do that if everyone else working on the show has one with them. It wouldn't make sense. I'd have to erase the mind of everyone who knew anything about the contracts and that's just not possible. For as long as I have a contract with them they will own me.

Magic. It seems like the only way, yet I can't bring myself to even touch my wand. The guilt from what I've done seeps into me with just a touch of the wooden shaft. Magic represents all the terrible things I've done with it. It represents Tom Riddle, the most skilled yet darkest wizard of our time. He was always so eager to find solutions to problems with the help of magic. If he were to lose his magic I think he might just be useless. I took a long drink of wine from my glass and closed the velevet box that I kept my wand in. I deserve a muggle life for what I've done. I was so hypnotized by him I was willing to do anything for him. Even tear apart my soul.

It's nearly been a year since I've seen him last. I was so positive I was gonna fix things, and that I'd never let him go. He's gone and I've done nothing to find him and I don't care to. I guess this is called growth. "Hermelda would you pour me some more wine?" I asked. It seems wine is the only thing that can get me through the night when I struggle with his memory. I slipped on my white silk nightgown, turned on my record player, (play song above) and grabbed the bottle of wine from Hermeld's hands while walking past her. "I think I need more than just one glass tonight," I said walking out onto the balcony.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I began to drink from the bottle.

Bright lights shined in the distance on this dark night. He's somewhere out there doing his dirty work. Killing the innocent and splitting his soul. He's never coming back. I chugged the rest of the bottle and threw it as hard as I could off the balcony hearing as it shattered into a million pieces, just like my heart. I screamed the most heart broken scream of my life full of pain and regret. I could hear it echo in the distance. I held onto the railing for dear life as I tried to catch my breath. I looked down to the ground beneath the balcony and for a moment I pondered jumping. I hate him so much. I cried long and hard thinking of how he hurt me so much. Now the only thing that protects me from his memory is being threatened to be taken from me. My career, my greatest distraction. My vision was blurry as I pulled a chair over to ledge and stood up on it looking out into the distance. I slipped off my heeled shoes and stepped onto the railing reaching up to the roofing above me to steady myself. A thousand memories of him flashed in my mind as I clenched my eyes shut. I could see his face, his wavy hair, his dark onyx eyes. In this moment he is here with me again. He is the same man I fell in love with. The cold wind hit me harshly as I softly sang to the music in the background. With his face clear in my mind I smiled dreamily, and then I jumped.

I will always love you