Between Two Worlds (Aizawa x Reader)

Chapter Fifty-Four: Confessions

(Aizawa's POV)

"What time is it?" I heard her ask. She was snuggled in close to me, her body leaning against my torso and my arm wrapped around her.

"No idea. If I had to venture a guess, I'd say around 4:30am or so." I said as I ran my fingers through some of her hair. I could've checked, but my phone was in my pants on the floor, and I had no intention of separating from her now.

I felt her chuckle.

"I'd normally be shocked at someone still being awake at this hour, but given that it's you, I'm not." she mused.

"I would say the same for you, but since you were out for nearly 15 hours, suggesting you should sleep seems rather unnecessary." I said.

"15 hours..." she repeated in dismay, "And you stayed awake the whole time?" she asked, peering up at me with those innocent eyes.

"Most of it, yes." I answered looking down at her, "I wasn't about to miss you waking up."

I saw a sweet smile appear on her face.

'There's that smile I hoped to see again.' I thought as I kissed her forehead. I honestly didn't think I'd ever see her like this again.

I heard her quietly giggle before laying her head back down on my chest as I continued to stroke her hair. She then began tracing a finger on my chest before lingering to some of the scars I had on my body. I normally wouldn't be one to let anyone touch them, but since it was her, I didn't mind. If anything, the delicate feeling was welcoming, even if what she was touching were painful reminders that I was only human.

"You have so many." she murmered.

"Comes with the job. Occupational hazard." I said nonchalantly.

"Do you remember where most of these came from?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"Not anymore. I can only remember a few notable ones, but the rest are a bit of a blur." I said as my fingers lightly touched the scar under my right eye. The very same scar that Doe warned me about that I dismissed entirely as a wild guess when we first met.

"Are you ever scared when you're fighting?" she asked me. The tone in her voice sounded troubled. I haven't known very many who were concerned about my well-being who weren't my students or my colleagues. To know there was someone outside my profession who felt that way was flattering, even if I thought that concern wasn't all that necessary.

"I think the moment I'm not is the moment I should retire. But truth be told," I put my fingers under her chin to raise it so she would look at me, "I haven't felt nearly as scared in battle as I did yesterday at the infirmary."

I wanted to tell her how I felt, I was practically dying to. But a nasty reminder came to mind:
I've lied to her.
I lied and told her that there was a way she could stay when there wasn't such a plan. I remembered not even being able to look at her in the eyes when I did, I was so ashamed of myself. I never told her the truth. How could I look at her and tell her that I love her, when I didn't even have the spine to be honest with her from the beginning about what might happen to her?
What if I told her now?
Would she hate me?
Would she run away?
Would she think less of me?
Less of what we just shared?
I wanted to pretend the lie never happened, but I knew she would eventually find out if I didn't say anything at all. I imagine she'd be a Hell of a lot angrier and more hurt if that were the case. My heart was racing as my thoughts began to spiral out of control.
I've got to to tell her. I knew I didn't want to, but it needed to be done.

"Doe, there's something I need to tell you..." I began but couldn't bring myself to finish. I had no idea how on earth to even start this. Where to even begin. I was terrified of almost losing her once. I didn't know if I could bear it a second time.

"There's something I need to tell you, too." she said rather timidly.

I blinked in surprise as my own thoughts were interrupted by her statement.

'Uh oh. What on earth does she have to tell me?' I thought.
Still, I needed to tell her before she was going to say anything else.

"Doe, I-"

"No," she interrupted gently as she pressed her hand on my chest, close to my heart, "Please, let me finish." I stayed silent as I let her continue, "I've been meaning to say this for awhile now, but I was unsure how you would feel or react if I did. Honestly, I thought you would turn me away or even kick me out of here. But after what happened at the infirmary, and after all of this, I feel if I don't say this now, I never will." She paused for a moment. I could tell she looked scared, but with one deep breath, she said it, "I love you."

Time felt like it stood still as I heard those three words leave her lips. My heart felt like it was bursting at the seams. I never anticipated that she would say that to me. I was over the moon. I never felt so happy as I did in this moment.
But...how was I supposed to tell her the truth now? The whole truth?

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything." she started to say, as she turned away, trying to shrug and laugh off what she just confessed, but I stopped her. As I turned her back towards me, I put my hand under her chin and kissed her. The sweet taste of her lips laced with mine in a loving waltz like they never had before, and my heart soared higher into the heavens.
I pulled away from her slightly, looking into those beautiful eyes, as I stroked her hair.

"I love you, too." I whispered to her.

As we kissed again, my mind threw away the idea to tell her what I needed to. Now was not the time or place. I needed to enjoy this connection and intimacy while I could, and that meant not ruining it with confessions of deceit and betrayal.
I knew I needed to tell her.
Just not now.

We parted again and looked at each other contently.
Then something else dawned on me.

"You know, I don't think I've ever said those words to someone when I didn't even know their name." I said with a chuckle. I wanted to know her real name so badly, but I didn't want to push it out of her if she didn't feel comfortable. After all, she said she'd tell me when she felt safe. I would hope she felt safe with me, but I tried not to take it personally.
She looked down for a moment, but then back at me again.

"It's (Y/N)." she said, quietly.

I smiled in response.

"(Y/N)...," I repeated, "I must say, I like that a lot better than Jane Doe."

She chuckled.

"Yeah, well, make sure to keep that between you and me. I don't want others to know, for their safety and mine. If more people find out who I am, and that I'm not from this world, it could mean a lot of trouble." she said as her fingers intertwined with mine.

I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it.

"Your secret is safe with me." I assured her.

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Author's note: We are nearing the halfway point, folks! Buckle up. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.