He's The Man

Chapter 44

-He's The Man-

~Leila's POV~

I snort sarcastically while flipping through the TV channels, stopping on 9NEWS.

"Look, Jordan!" I sigh. "Looks like you're not the only famous one in this town anymore." My high school yearbook picture is plastered on the screen as some news anchor describes the events of the last day.

Jordan frowns and switches off the TV. "Don't pay any attention to junk. They're just vultures doing their job."

I smile up and him and cuddle into his side. "Jealous that I'm just as known as you are now?" I tease.

He rolls his eyes and kisses my forehead. "I wish you weren't "known", Leila. If Jacob wasn't such a psychopath you wouldn't have to deal with all this shit." He waves his hand towards the window and I frown, there have been news trucks parked outside all day wanting to talk to me.

"Fame comes with a price." I try once more for humor, but Jordan doesn't think it's funny.

"Leila, you always go for sarcasm; but this is serious. Your life was in danger, when are you going to start taking all of this seriously?" His face is etched with concern and he makes me feel even worse.

"I don't want to take it seriously, Jordan." I growl feeling exasperated. "What do you want me to say?" I stand up and start pacing.

"My ex boyfriend who just so happens to be my twin brothers murderer had your creepy jock friend kidnap me so he could do God knows what! All of my worst nightmares have just become my reality and I think I just might have a mental break down."

I fall back down on the couch and press my lips together, trying to still my trembling lip.

Jordan looks at me utterly horrified and I can't help but glare at him. "Is that taking it serious for you?!" I shout before burying my head in my hands.

After a beat I feel his hands wrap around my shoulders and pull me to him.

"Hey, I'm sorry." He mutters, the regret evident in his voice. "I'm an idiot. I have no idea what it's like to be in your shoes right now and I'll stop pretending to...but Leila, you have to deal with your feelings sooner or later. You can't keep all of this inside."

He takes my wrists and gently pulls my hands away from my face and wipes away my tears. "Please, talk to me."

I gaze into his pale green eyes and shutter, things were so much easier when it was just me, mom, and Ramona. I didn't have to worry about anyone...I couldn't worry about anyone else. Looking up at Jordan now, his feelings for me clearly written all over his face, terrifies me; because somehow, this breathtakingly handsome guy has wormed his way into my hesitant heart.

He waits patiently, urging me to open up to him. Finally, I let out a shaky breath and crawl into his welcome arms, knowing I'll need his strength to get through this story that I've only told twice in my life. Once to the police, and once to My therapist.

"I'm so scared, Jordan." I whisper, clutching his hand tightly. "My entire life has led up to this moment. Sean-Sean's dead-" A strangled sob escapes my throat and I have to stop for a moment. "My twin brother and best friend was murdered and it's my fault."

My voice is thick with tears, but I force myself to go on.

"That Summer, I told Sean that I wanted to end it with Jake, he was just so controlling, possessive and abusive." I feel Jordan's muscles tense around me at this revelation. "Sean was his best friend and was furious when I told him about Jacobs behavior. He had no idea and felt so guilty. He told me that I had until midnight to break it off or else he would take matters into his own hands."

"My mom was away visiting our Uncle for the weekend so Sean sat with me in my bedroom while I called Jake to end it, I wasn't brave enough to do it face to face. Of course, he was furious. He threatened to kill me or himself if I didn't take my words back and stay with him. He had threatened me like this many times so I didn't take him seriously, but Sean-he took the phone and cussed him out."

"He told him that he knew everything, and that they weren't friends anymore and that if he knew better, he would stay away from me. Sean, promised me that I was safe now and that Jacob wouldn't come around anymore; but around 11 there was a knock on the door."

My tears are flowing steadily now and I have to take a second to calm down. Jordan holds me tighter, and whispers comforting things to me until I'm ready to go on.

"I told Sean not to answer it, but he looked through the peep-hole and saw Jacob standing there. He made me go upstairs while he opened the door, expecting them to argue or maybe even fight, I watched from the second floor horrified and kept begging him not to open it. I knew how mad Jake could get and I didn't want Sean to get hurt, but he just wouldn't listen."

I pinch my eyes shut as I remember the next part of the story with an unwelcome vividness.

"As soon as Sean opened the door, the loudest sound I had ever heard in my life went off...a gunshot. The next thing I knew, Sean was lying on his back and Jacob was screaming at me, 'It was supposed to be you! Now look at what you've made me do!' "

My stomach lurches and for a moment I think I'm going to be sick. Sean's figure...laying on the ground haunts me every time I close my eyes. He was so still, and I couldn't breathe. It all seemed so surreal.

"I don't know what happened after that." I whisper, suddenly feeling like I've just ran a marathon, my heart is pounding and I'm exhausted. "I blacked out. My therapist says it's because it was so traumatic and I couldn't handle it, so my mind took me away. I'm glad though, I don't want to remember...I can't."

Jordan just holds me closer, and in this moment I'm so grateful for him because this is all I need him to do, just hold me.

"Leila, you're so brave. I can't even imagine-" He stops and kisses the back of my hand. "You're so strong." He murmurs.

I shake my head and I'm overtaken by my tears.

"But I'm not, Jordan! Can't you see? It's my fault. It's all my fault! Sean, he would've done anything for me, and I couldn't even save him. He's dead because of me, it should've been me!"

"Hey!" Jordan growls with an anger that's not directed at me. "That's a terrible thing to think, Leila. There wasn't anything you could have done. You were young, and scared, like anyone else would've been. Jacob is sick, he's messed up and that's not your fault. What happened-" He quickly searches for the right words. "Was terrible, but you can't blame yourself. That's a heavy weight to carry, Sean-" It looks as though it pains him to even say his name. "He wouldn't want you feeling like this."

I've heard his words a thousand times in one form or another; from the cops, my therapist, Ramona, and my mother, but something about the way Jordan's said it and the way he's looking at me urges me to believe him.

And for the first time in a long time, I begin to feel safe and despite all that's gone on, giddy.

A weird happiness blossoms within me, a slow smile spreads across my lips with the newly found knowledge that there are no secrets between Jordan and I.