Partners-Five Hargreeves

Klaus, you drug-addicted genius

Now, we sit in this dipshit's office trying to convince him to give us a name to match the eyeball. I'll "convince" him to give us a name if he doesn't tell us soon, I think, different gory ideas are brewing in my mind while I sit in the visitor's chair behind Five.

"Like I told your son and his girlfriend earlier," The next person that calls me Five's girlfriend is going to get punched. "Any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential. Without the client's consent, I simply can't help you."

"Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name," Five seethes at the incompetent doctor.

"Well, that's not my problem," the doctor says calmly, meanwhile, my rage only builds. "Sorry. Now, there's nothing really more I can do, so-"

"And what about my consent?" Klaus interrupts randomly.

"Excuse me?"

"Who gave you permission...to lay your hands..." Klaus makes his voice shaky like he is about to cry, "on my son and his lovely girlfriend?" I'm going to let that one slide because he called me lovel-

"Wait, what?" Back up a minute what did he say?

I guess Five and the Doctor were just as confused as me because they chorus my confusion with "What?"s.

"You heard me."

The doctor side-eyes Five and I wondering what we have planned "I didn't touch your son or his girlfriend."

"Oh, really?" Klaus mocks. "Well, then how did he get that swollen lip, and why does she have a handprint across her face, then?" Hold on a fucking minute.

"They don't have any injuries-" but his statement is cut off by Klaus full-on bitch slapping Five across the face. I only have a few seconds to think oh shit, before Klaus is moving over to me whispering an "I'm sorry" and slapping me across the cheek while Five yells out and "No! Klaus!" just a tad too late. I yelp at the stinging sensation that runs across the side of my face.

"What the hell?!" I yell while holding my now burning face in my small hands. I turn to see Five looking at me with a 'what the fuck is he thinking' face while he wipes his busted lip.

Klaus turns to the man before saying in an impatient voice while leaning over the desk, "I want it. Name, please. Now."

"You're crazy," the doctor says in a shaky voice.

Klaus chuckles at his understatement, "You got no idea." Klaus pauses and looks down at the desk seeing a snowglobe. Ah shit, this can't be good. "'Peace on earth.' That's so sweet," he says before rearing back and smashing the globe against his head.

"Ho-ly shit," I say with my mouth agape. Meanwhile, the people around me have less audible reactions. The doctor practically jumps out of his chair in horror and surprise, Five just jumps out of shock, and Klaus, well Klaus is groaning in pain as water, glitter, and blood runs down his face.

"God, that hurt!"

The doctor quickly grabs his phone to dial security, "I'm calling secur-" Klaus reaches over to grab the phone out of the man's hand effectively cutting him off again. "What are you doing?"

Klaus being the dramatic shit that he is; gasps before he speaks into the phone. "There's been an assault in Mr. Big's office, and we need security, now. Schnell!"

So Klaus does know German. Yay! Now we can confuse the others and have conversations in German! Oh, this is going to be so much fun!

Klaus throws the phone back in the general direction of the receiver, and of course, misses. "Now, here's what's going to happen, Grant." Oh, I can see where this is going.

"It's...Lance," the doctor sputters out weakly.

"In about 60 seconds," Klaus says ignoring the doctor, "two security guards are going to burst through that door, and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood, and they're going to wonder, 'What the hell happened?' And we're gonna tell them that you...beat the shit out of us." Klaus even "cries" for dramatic effect.

Klaus, you drug-addicted genius. At this point, both Five and I are deeply proud of the man beside us and we showed it on our faces.

"You're gonna do great in prison, Grant," Klaus continues. "Trust me, I've been there. Little piece of chicken like you. Oh, my god, you're gonna get passed around like a..." he says while moving his hips in a circular motion then waving as if to reassure him, "You're just-you're gonna do great. That's all I'm saying."

"Jesus, you are a real sick bastard," Lance says trembling.

Klaus looks at him dead serious, "Thank you."I try so hard not to laugh when Klaus spits out a shard of glass but ultimately I fail. Klaus looks over at me with a dopey smile while Five looks over at me in pure amusement. 

Well, I guess that's one way to do it because next thing I know we are watching Lance go through the patient files that coordinate with the serial numbers. Five and I stand beside each other across the filing cabinet while Klaus sits on top of the cabinets. Lance finally finds the file and pulls it out, looking at Klaus skeptically before looking back down at the file.

"Oh, that's strange."

"What?" Five asks quickly.

"Uh, the eye. It hasn't been purchased by a client yet."

"What?" Klaus asks hoping off the cabinet. "What do you mean?"

"Well uh, our logs say that the eye with that serial number...this can't be right. It hasn't even been manufactured yet." Lance looks up at Five and I in complete disbelief, "Where did you get that eye?"

I cover my face with my hands, "You've got to be shitting me."