Emote: Bakugo x OC Reader

Chapter 93

Bakugo's POV

"Goddamn it," I muttered, restlessly tossing and turning as I attempted to get the image of her face out of my mind; the look of pain etched into her features as the angry words came tumbling out of my mouth. Her hand reaching out to help, a hand I carelessly shoved to the side in defiance. I couldn't even recall what I'd said to her, I'd just reacted, but it must have been bad because the look of hurt in those shining emerald eyes was now haunting me.

"Fuck!" I spat, sitting up, my eyes darting to my bedside clock which read 10:15 PM.

I wasn't getting to sleep any time soon. If I wasn't thinking about her, I was thinking about that man's hand wrapped around my neck, pulling me into the darkness. I'd been lost in my thoughts earlier, lost in the memory of the thick blue flames lapping up the forest as I watched Deku running towards me hopelessly, the look in his eyes telling me he wasn't going to reach me in time. It had been a dark, empty vortex after that which had somehow felt like I fell through for a second but also an eternity. And then I'd felt pain, a sharp blow to the back of the head that knocked me unconscious. I woke in a metal contraption that bound my hands together in front of me and clamped over my mouth, preventing me from speaking.

Swinging my feet over the bed, I rubbed my hands across my face before letting them rest there. I was so fucking sick of these memories. I was sick of being so fucking weak and not being able to just move on. Why couldn't I just move on? The image of All Might, his hollowed cheeks and frail body, blood running down his face, flashed through my mind.

"FUCK!" I yelled before flipping on my lamp and grabbing my phone to check the notifications but there were none.

Sighing, I stood up, throwing on a pair of slippers before I walked out into the hallway. I focused on putting one foot in front of the other instead of the overwhelming idea of what the hell I was going to say when I saw Y/n. She would still be awake, right? She always teased me relentlessly for going to bed so early, so I always just assumed she stayed up later.

As I came to stand in front of her door, I hesitated for a moment, my fist hovering for a second before I wrapped my knuckles sharply on the wood a few times and took a step back. I heard a meow followed by some shuffling and after a few seconds the door swung open. My chest seemed to tighten at the sight of her and I could have sworn my pulse quickened just a fraction. Her hair fell down over her shoulders and loose, wavy strands framed her face. She wore an over sized T-shirt and shorts that barely peeked out from beneath the large shirt her upper body was swimming in.

A look of shock crossed her face before it was replaced with one of caution. We stared at each other for a few seconds, neither speaking, before her cat came darting out of the room and rubbed up against one of my legs.

"Ah, Kiko!" She cried, bending over and swiping the cat up into her arms. "You silly girl!" Then she shot me a neutral look before waving me in. "Well, come in so I can close the door."

As I stepped into the room, I heard the click of the door closing behind me. Y/n walked around me to set the cat on the bed before she turned to face me.

"I figured you'd be asleep by now," She mumbled, her gaze turned down.

"Couldn't sleep." I stared at her, willing her to look at me, but to no avail. 

When she finally did look up, it was with a hurt expression. "Well, you're sick of my emotion bullshit, aren't you? So why come here?"

I cringed. Had I really said that? Goddamn it, I was failing her yet again. Why did I do this shit? Why did I always push away the people that were just trying to help me? I normally wouldn't want their help, wouldn't need it. But this girl that I'd slowly fallen for over time wasn't like the others and some part of this equation needed to change.

"It scares me," The words were so foreign I nearly had to choke them out. "Knowing that you can read me like that. I hate it, not feeling like I have control. And I pushed you away. I'm used to pushing people away."

I closed the distance between us in a few steps, reaching a hand out and pulling her head into my chest as the other came to rest on her lower back. "I fucked up and I was an asshole. Forgive me."

She sank into the embrace, her arms coiling around me and squeezing me tight as she nuzzled into my neck. I breathed her in as I focused on the way it felt to hold her small body against mine. At some point along the way she had become my anchor without me even realizing it but it became apparent in that moment as everything within me seemed to calm like a body of water with no ripples, just a clear, untouched surface.

"I know you're used to pushing people away, but I need you to learn to let me love you." Her words were spoken softly but the force of them shook me.

"I...know how to be loved," I muttered, but when I actually thought about it I realized that I really wasn't used to accepting other people's affections. I'd always stood alone, not wanting to admit any sort of weakness, let alone allow someone else to shoulder the burden with me. The thought itself seemed absurd.

"Really?" She pulled away, her eyebrows furrowed together as she gave me a look of disbelief. "I've been worried about you, Katsuki. Ever since you...ever since the summer camp when you were..."

She fumbled her words, seeming to look everywhere but directly into my eyes.

"It's not even a big deal," I said instinctively. "I'm fine and those villains can rot in hell."

Her hair fell like a curtain over her face, shielding her eyes for a moment. When she looked up, I was shocked to see a single tear sliding down her cheek. Her eyes shined and became a lighter, more florescent shade of green as they filled with more tears and she lifted her hand before resting it over my heart.

"What did they do to you?"

An unwanted image came to mind. That face, the one with deep purple, mangled flesh clinging to his face by the surgical staples plastering his skin. The eyes that were the color of the sky on a cloudless day that stared at me as though I was nothing but a pawn. It was there and gone in an instant.

"Nothing!" I snapped, feeling my entire body tense and I stepped back. I watched as her hand hung in the air for a moment before she slowly lowered it to her side. Sighing, I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. "Why are you crying?"

She swiped at her face, wiping the tears away as she spoke and yet they seemed to just be replaced with new ones. "Because I think you're full of bullshit. I think that something happened and I don't know what it is but I can see how it's affecting you and I hate feeling so fucking helpless when you act like you're fine when clearly you're not fine."

It felt as though the air had been sucked out of my lungs as I froze. How could she always seem to see the deepest parts of me that I tried so desperately to hide not just from the world but from myself? My mouth opened but the words I didn't even know how to begin saying were trapped somewhere deep within me. Instead of speaking, I stepped forward, wrapping my arms around her.

"Idiot," I breathed. "I love you."

She didn't push me any farther that night, didn't insist that I tell her every detail of what happened after the villains captured me or describe the emotional scars it had left that kept me awake most nights. Instead, she let me hold her in my arms until the pain slowly dulled and eased away until it felt like a distant memory and all that was left was the comfort of her love.