𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐭 ▷ 𝐬. 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐢 ✓

𝟐𝟗. 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
hallucinations

YASMINE MCCALL

Sometimes I hated my life.

Sometimes in this instant referring to right now.

Cursing underneath my breath, I growled lowly and huffed, ignoring the weird looks some people gave me. For a second, I felt defeated. I had been successfully ignoring him for days now and then boom, here he was all ready to party. The second that feeling of defeat overcame my body, I was about ready to walk out the party. Mentally, I felt overwhelmed and tired, which translated into how I, in return, acted, spoke and behaved. I do not know why I was feeling so much more emotional tonight, but I was and all I could do was try to keep my emotions in check.

Feeling defeated, I spotted Matt again as he stood outside. His back was turned towards me, but I could tell he was sipping on the drink Lydia was passing around. Seeing his back and taking a second to think, I felt a spark ignite within me and I smirked to myself as I flicked my hair over my shoulder and took a deep breath, then strutted out into the backyard. I had remembered that I was a bad bitch and no male presence was going to diminish that or make me feel insecure about myself.

I had spent a good portion of my life feeling so insanely insecure about myself as a person; always doubting and second-guessing how I behaved, how I looked, how I spoke and so on. I had overcame that and made a promise to myself that I would never let anyone make me feel lesser or make me feel inadequate. I was my own person and whatever decisions I made were my business - nobody could judge what I did or said and have it affect me as a person.

Matt being a creep had surely made me feel uncomfortable around him, but I reminded myself that his creepiness should not affect or dictate how I behaved at a party merely because we were both attending.

Passing by the table, I kept my eyes ahead of me as I swiftly grasped a glass from the table of drinks and took a sip, never once stopping. I could feel several pairs of eyes on me and while I knew Matt was staring at me in shock, I could also feel Allison and Scott both peering at me. I never stopped to see how Allison or Scott were looking at me, merely because that would mean having to explain what was going on and personally I was getting tired of always having to explain what I did or why I did it.

I spotted an empty chair near the pool and headed for it, placing my glass on the table first, then smoothing out my dress to make sure I did not flash anyone as I perched down on the chair, crossing my legs and leaning back in the chair. Grabbing a hold of my glass again, I took a sip and while scanning the backyard, I found Scott looking at me, a glass in his hand. With a grin on my face, I arched a brow and raised my glass, a teasing smile on my face. Scott raised his glass from a distance with a matching smile on his face and in unison, we nodded at each other and threw our heads back, chugging the drink.

"Hey Yasmine," I heard a voice speak to me as I finished my drink, my head still resting on the back of the chair with my gaze focused on the night sky above me. "Can we talk?"

Slowly raising my head to look forward again, my gaze landed on Matt Daehler, who was stood next to my chair. He had an illegible expression on his face, his one hand grasping a glass while the other was buried in the pocket of his jeans. A major part of me was inwardly screaming 'no', telling me to tell him to fuck off and never speak to me again. Unfortunately, I chose to listen to the more rational part of my conscious, which was urging me to have a conversation with him and get the answers I so desperately wanted.

Without saying a single word, I nodded and pushed myself up from the chair and began walking, ignoring Matt. As I took a few steps forward, I could tell he was not with me and so I stopped in my tracks, turning my head to see Matt still standing in the same spot but facing me, his eyes locked on me. An impatient sigh escaped me and I tilted my head in an annoyed manner, ultimately making eye contact with him. His hazel eyes were unemotional and staring emptily back into mine, but there was a thing that threw me off majorly and made me want to whirl around and hurry away.