Psycho-Pass: Coping Mechanisms

Part 37 : Dirty Little Secret (lemon)

PART 37 – Dirty Little Secret

Gino still had that blank stare when she closed the door behind them.

He was absent-minded, not really aware of his surroundings, or even of Shizuka's presence in those first few moments. He was too preoccupied with Sae's condition to think about anything else.

To Shizuka, he seemed drained. Empty. Numb. Defeated, even. His whole life started crumbling aroung him. His private situation... his job... his associates... his friends... his family... everything about his current state was affecting him. Suffocating him, even. To summarize... it was getting to him on all levels. Emotional... intellectual... social, any and all. It started eating him on the inside.

The best indicator was his hue. He wasn't able to fight the overall pressure anymore, not even when he attempted masking it as anger. He was just... plainly, heavily hit.

While he was thinking about the emptiness he currently felt... he became aware of one thing. The warmth of her fingers over his own. In comparison, his hand felt much colder.
She wasn't aware she was still holding him 'till the moment he pulled out his hand. He stepped away to remove his shoes. Once he did that, Gino leaned against her door, taking a deep, slow breath. She anxiously anticipated him to start falling apart... but Ginoza was too stern to let it show. Showing even this much... was disturbing enough for him.
He always bottled his emotions.

"Is Sae-san... at the hospital?" she asked, opening the first button on his pea coat, thinking about how his coats were really well-tailored and pretty refined. Made of best materials. Comfortable. Simple in design... but elegant. True representation of Gino.

Only then... she realized how her simple act of help could be misinterpreted. She slowly put her hands down and he picked up unbuttoning where she stopped. After he was done, he handed the coat back to her so she could put it away to dry. He did the same with his suit.

"I transferred mom to Okinawa," Gino responded softly. Shizuka nodded, thinking how she'd probably do the same in his place. He made another brief pause before he spoke again.

"I won't have her in the hospital anymore. I hired a nurse to look over her, she is sending me reports every couple of hours. I also have an AI assistant working the security. I provided something of a home-clinic for her... since..."

His voice cracked. He took a moment.

Since doctors don't have much hope. She knew how hospitals were in general. She also knew about the disease that Sae faced. Painful memories resurfaced... and she felt so sad about Nobuchika.

"How is she now?" Shizuka threaded carefully, in case he was too sensitive to open up further regarding this topic. He looked aside. He swallowed, and took another deep breath.

"Silent... looking at one point through the window... without response. She doesn't show signs that she can hear me anymore. It feels like talking to a doll now. Breathing... living doll... that occasionally blinks in her wheelchair. She doesn't hear. She doesn't react. She used to at least demonstrate signs of comprehension. But now... she is completely out of reach."

How must it hurt... to feel so alone in this world. Shizuka at least had Mio... Sayo... and Kogami. Even Ginoza, for he never strayed too far when she needed him to be around for her. But, Gino... seemingly didn't have that kind of support. Not from Masaoka... from Kogami... not even Shizuka. He felt like they all failed him. Abandoned him. It made the whole thing even more difficult.

"I am sure she will recover, Gino. I know it's a bit preposterous of me to assume that, since I am not a medical worker or anything... but, based on what I know about your mom, I honestly believe she will get better. She is a strong woman... and the mere fact that she is still resisting her illness, and not giving in, means that she cares about you. That she won't stop fighting. For... she isn't fighting just for her sake... she is fighting for you too. So... please... don't despair. Sae-san will get better. You will see."