Psycho-Pass: Coping Mechanisms

Part 44 : Variables (lemon)

PART 44 – Variables

She straightened up, nauseous. The aftermath of what she shared with Ginoza now weighted heavily on her. All she wanted to do in that moment, was to disappear from the face of the Earth... in order to avoid looking Kogami in the face when the time comes. And that time will come soon enough.

You thought you were ready for this. You weren't. Selfish girl. Would anyone ever be ready for something like this? Why did you think you could do this and live with it?

Gino was looking at Akibara; she could feel his eyes on the back of her head. Despite the intensity of the sex they've just had, she didn't seem like she wanted to rest. On the contrary. She was restless. Stricken... and she couldn't talk to Ginoza about it.

He felt something similar, though not in the same amount as Shizuka. After all, he had less to lose in comparison. Pursuing his own desire was just a bit easier for him than it was for her. He sighed, rising from the bed too.

"Leaving already?" he asked. She started picking up her clothes. True escapist stays true to their habit.

"It's late," she was like in trance, but Gino knew it wasn't the escapism-kind. She just needed to wrap her head around what just happened.

He walked towards her. Suddenly, she couldn't look at his naked body. It was too burdensome, too sinful, and too exciting to remember what that body did to her own. Her face was red from shame.

"Shizuka."

His tone suggested he was having none of the drama. Not one bit of it. She didn't want to cause it either, but her guilt was overwhelming. She couldn't act like this was nothing.

She couldn't pretend she can deal with this in the normal, rational way.

"Look at me," Ginoza commanded. She raised her gaze, trying to look directly into his irises. He reached for the dress in her arms. It felt soft under his fingers.

"You want it to be the one time thing? To end it here?"

Something felt tight in her chest.

"What are you saying?" she wasn't sure what he meant by it.

"Is this a one night stand? A tryout? You sleep with me, then repent, and hope he forgives you? Is that it?"

"I don't know," she uttered under her breath. "That's the deal... I don't know. Everything seems... like a wrong choice at this point. Everything."

"So, it's a mistake," Gino pulled the dress out of her hand. "I was a mistake."

His gaze was too intense for her. His words too. His tone was cold.

"Don't put words into my mouth. I've never said... it was a mistake..."

"I can read between the lines well enough. And I can read the guilt on your face even better."

He threw the dress on the floor, and reached for Shizuka's body.

"It's not the words I am going to put in your mouth," he said. "And if this is a one night stand... I am going to make the most of it."

Her heart started beating faster.

"Gino, stop."

"Is that all you can say? It's always... 'Gino, stop.' Or 'Gino, don't.' Or, 'Gino, no.' It appears that all you ever say along with my name... is some form of rejection."

His lips brushed against hers. It was a small movement... but it felt electric.

"If you don't know what this is, then let's find out," he proposed. He kissed her with his lips only. Softly. Tenderly. She pressed her hand against his chest.