"Hey Diamond," she said before she hugged me. I frowned some as I smelled Bruno's cologne on her. I honestly felt like breaking down to tears right then.
"What you doing here?" I said giving her a fake smile as I observed her. "Bruno asked me to help him out on a song he was writing." "Oh.. how'd that go?" "Pretty good you'll like it." I awkwardly smiled.
"Sorry about leaving again gotta get to the studio." I nodded, "I understand no worries, see ya later." I watched her get in the car and I stood out there waving. Soon as she was gone I wiped the smile off my face and walked in the door.
I heard Bruno humming in the bathroom as I went in quietly closing the door behind me. I sat at the bar and put my head down as my thoughts began to eat me alive.
Why is this happening? With my own friend? I swear I'm done with him. But I couldn't just leave him, he's like my everything. I heard the bathroom door open. "Diamond?" I lifted up my head and looked at him in the eyes. He rubbed the back of his head, "You're home early." "Come sit with me Bru." I said patting the stool next to me. He walked over, "What's wrong?" "What were you and Karmen doing?"
He hesitated some looking away from my eyes, "We we're working on a new song?" I looked away letting out a breath and closing my eyes, "Bruno are you lying?"
"No, why the hell are you always accusing me of everything!" he said raising his voice. I stood up, "I swear every time I ask you something you get mad and start yelling at me. You don't even like to talk anymore! I'm not accusing you I'm feeling something baby and I.. I don't like it."
He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath as he sat back down again, "Listen, I love you Diamond more than you'll ever even begin to understand." I started to pace back and forth, "Bruno, I fucking love you too but, I don't trust you!" He wrinkled his forehead and turned in his stool more, "You don't trust me?"
I felt my tears coming as I raised my voice, all of my emotions finally coming out, "No, no I fucking don't! You get drunk leave and sometimes you never come back home. And your excuses are always music! I know music is important to you Bruno I know that but, you can at least treat me with some respect! After all I'm the one washing your clothes and cooking for you! I've been here for you, for 3 years, 3 years! Do you know how long that is?"
Everything that I had been wanting to say for a long time finally came out, this was my breaking point. He came closer to me and got in my face and I instantly tensed up. "All that I do for you.. I swear you don't appreciate shit!" I pushed him without thinking, "Me? Not appreciative. You got to be fucking kidding me!" I felt the tears running down my face at this point but, I was so angry that I didn't even realize just how much I was crying.
He made a face at me that I had never seen before, it was pure anger and the fire in his eyes scared me. "What do you want from me?! What the hell do you want me to do huh?" he yelled at me. I shook my head and ignored him. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me but, he quickly took it back down.
"Bruno you... you would hit me?" I cried shakily. He didn't say anything and I couldn't believe it. "Has our relationship really got this far where you would actually put your hands on me? You know what fuck you!" I said walking towards the bedroom. I sounded angry, but in all reality I was hurt and I was hurt bad. Things weren't coming out right. "So you're just going to walk away from me?"
I turned around to him as I got to the bedroom door, "I.. I fucking smelled you on her! I'm tired of the lies. If you loved me, you wouldn't cheat on me Bruno!" Before he could respond I walked in the room and slammed the door behind me. I sat on the edge of the bed and slowly put a hand over my face as I began cry harder than I had in a long time. I actually couldn't even remember the last time I had cried.
"Fuck!" I yelled slamming my fist in the counter. I took off my hat and ran a hand through my hair as I started pacing. I can't keep doing this. I grabbed my keys off the rack and slammed the front door behind me. I drove to the nearest bar. I needed this pain to go away and I dared the paparazzi to try me.
I laid there for I don't know how long drowning in my sorrow. How can you stop crying when the only person to make you stop is the one that made you start? He was such a liar, he never answered any of my questions. I needed to be in his arms right now, I needed his touch. But, it was pretty clear that he didn't need me for anything. The more I stared off the wilder my thoughts grew and the more I cried.
I sat in the booth and put my head in my hands. I had lost count of how many drinks I had and I felt hopeless. I couldn't stop making bad decisions and I didn't know why. I needed to make things right, but how could I? I ordered another drink. "Don't you think you've had enough of those sir?"
"No, I don't." I said without looking at them. "Just get my drink please." I heard them walk away. I took the next one to the head and it made me more lightheaded than I expected it too. I slowly put my head down on the table and took my hat off. I let out a breath as I began to drift off.
