Letters to Chanyeol

Letter 17

Dear Chanyeol,

Writing the book reminded me of everything, including the good times and the bad times. The many reasons why I love you. There were times when I laughed and felt butterflies in my stomach as I wrote.

However, it also reminded me how you broke my heart. It made me cry and made me really sad at night. I knew this would happen if I write our story and I was ready for the consequences.

I posted the first draft on a popular site and the result was great. A lot of people started reading our story and some even made comments. To be honest, it felt good that some people understood what I was going through. It was nice to get comfort from people. In some way, my readers helped me get through the pain I felt when you left.

It was a year after when the story got so popular that Kyungsoo reached out to me. I couldn't believe that I was still writing you letters after a year of our break up. But I guess this would be my last. I should move forward with my life since you were now moving forward on your own.

I still have tons of questions to ask you, Chanyeol. But if I was given a chance to say something it would be thank you.

Thank you for coming to my life. You brought color to my dull world. You gave me the relationship of my dreams. You made me realize that I deserved to be treated special. You boosted my self confidence. You made me face my fears. You taught me how to be mature. In some ways, you made me better.

But thank you for leaving too. You taught me that not everyone was meant to stay in my life and no matter how I try to be the best boyfriend, the wrong person would never appreciate it. Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for making my cry. The pain you gave me, made me a strong man today.

And this story, our story, even if it had a painful ending, it made me realize that I can achieve my dreams.

I'm going to let you go now.