Letters to Chanyeol

Letter 02

Dear Chanyeol,

Did you remember that day? That day when we first met?

It was the first day of college and I was wearing this green shirt and jeans. You were wearing a white shirt and brown pants.

We both didn't have friends and we saw each other walking to the cafeteria.

I knew the moment I saw you that you're my crush. I loved your side swept bangs. I didn't expect that you'd be the first one to strike the conversation.

You asked me, "hey are you going to eat?"

In which I immediately replied, "Yes. I know where the cafeteria is. I'll take us there."

I know it was stupid but I was happy. In such as short conversation, I knew that my college life would be great. While we were walking, you seemed doubtful about our path and as a competitive person, I asked you for a bet.

"You don't believe me, huh? What if we make a bet? If I really know where the cafeteria is, you'll treat me. If I don't, I'll treat you." I smiled at you because my mom used to tell me that my smile is my best charm.

You declined because I looked so confident. That look on your face was so funny I even hit you lightly on the shoulder. Yes, that was such a flirty move but I know you liked it. You smiled at me and we laughed as we walk.

We talked about everything. Your ex, my ex, my goals, your dreams, everything. I didn't hold anything back and I think you didn't too.

"To be honest, I am not straight." I looked at you with worry because everything was going well. But what if you're not like me? What if you're straight?

You smiled, "I know. I am not too. But I wasn't sure at first." My eyes widen in surprise at your sudden confession. It made my heart flutter and the hope of having a deeper connection with you grew.

We continued to talk about everything and from there, I knew that we could be good friends. For some reason, you liked to tease me. You would move closer to me and I would panic because I didn't know what to do.

But I held back. It wasn't an issue. I bet you held back too. Looking back, everything was like a movie. I felt all the sparks right there and then.

But if I knew it would end up this way, maybe I would have changed everything. Maybe I would ignore when you told me you loved me. Maybe it was better if we just remained friends.