Letters to Chanyeol

Letter 25

Dear Chanyeol,

In a month, I watched you do all those hurtful things to me. Your last straw was when you unfriended me and posted a story about a girl.

I am not dumb, Chanyeol. I know you don't just post about a person. She was one of those girls you followed on Instagram and now you're posting about her. Remember? You did the same thing to me when we started dating.

I bet you started tagging her to cute things and any post related to relationships. I know you. I have been there. I was the man before her. You were also like this to your exes.

She was the potential partner or maybe you two were already in a relationship. I wanted to say that I am happy for you but I couldn't. After the first story, my bestfriend sent me another one. This time, it was a collage picture of you two.

You looked happy, Chanyeol. You looked different from the last time I saw you. That was when I told my friend to stop updating me about you. I no longer want to know anything. I realized it was dumb for me to know these things because I was only hurting myself.

Despite that, deep down I wanted to understand what she had that I don't. Sure, I cannot give you children like her. But other than that, I was 10 times better than her. I could love you better than her. You already know that, right?

But why? Why leave me? What is it that she has that I don't?

I know I would never know the answers to these so I decided to stop checking up on you. I was stupid. Stalking your ex was the worst idea anyone could have although most people do it.

But I'm tired, Chanyeol. You made your choice and it was to downgrade. I couldn't settle for less. I couldn't move on or be in a relationship that easily because I know what I'm worth.

I do not need to be loved like you. Remember you told me when we were together that you were sufficient in love? But I don't think so. If you were, you wouldn't jump into a relationship that easily.

You crave for someone's attention. You crave for love. You wanted to be treated special. You wanted to be in a relationship so badly.

When I think about this, I wonder, I gave you all of those? Why is it still not enough for you?