Flashed Golden Photographs (Sunset Avenues #1)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Hope

"Hello there baby, can you hear your mama?"

The newborn baby flinched when I touched his little fingers. Ang liit-liit niya. He's so fragile. Natatakot akong kapag napadiin ako ng hawak ay madudurog ko siya. I stared at him for quite some time. He's holding on for his life. Kung pwede lang na palitan ko ang anak ko sa kalagayan niya sa mga sandaling iyon.

I wanted to shoulder his every pain even when I was in deep sorrow. He was a premature baby. Naluluha ako kapag nakikita ko siyang kinakabitan ng kung ano-ano just to prolong his life. Malaki ang naging epekto ng sunod-sunod na trahedya. Mistulang siya ang sumalo ng mga pighati ko.

He shared with my pain. He saved me. My son saved me. Sa kan'ya na lang ako kumakapit. Sa kan'ya ako humuhugot ng lakas. My son overshadowed the past. He's my colors. And I thought I was going to lose everything including him.

They say, everything happens for a reason. Kung may mawawala, may darating. Everything has to come to an end. Lahat tayo ay nasa pila. It is just a matter of who, when and how. At hindi dapat natin kontrahin ang kagustuhan Niya kahit nga ba minsan nakakapanghina iyon.

We often question Him and His plans for us if it is not according to what we wished for. Kung iyon ang nakakabuti, bakit masakit iyong kapalit? Kailangan ba na masaktan muna bago sumaya? O kalakip na ng kasiyahan ang sakit?

Siya ang maituturing kong pinakamagandang nangyari sa buhay ko. He's worth the pain. He is my blessing at habang buhay ko Siyang pasasalamatan for giving me him. Staring at my fragile baby, I realized that a mother's love is incomparable. It is the purest form of love. It is unconditional, patient and enduring.

Naiintindihan ko na ngayon ang hirap at sakripisyo ng mga magulang para sa anak. Iyon ang bagay na hindi dapat binabalewala.Ayos lang na ako ang mahirapan. Kung pwede nga lang na angkinin ko ang paghihirap ng anak ko ay ginawa ko na.

His heartbeat gave me thousand reasons to live. His cries brought me emotions. He made me live again. When I heard his first cry, I cried also. Naiyak ako sa sa pinagsama-samang emosyon. Nang ilapag siya sa braso ko at sa sandaling nahawakan ko siya, binura n'on ang sakit na idinulot ng kan'yang ama.

Love outweighed the hatred. Nabura ang sakit. Napalitan iyon ng walang katumbas na kasiyahan. Gustuhin ko man na magtanim ng galit, hindi ko magawa. Paano pa iyon magkakapuwang sa puso ko?

I doubted my capabilities as a mother. Kaya ko bang magpaka-ina sa anak ko after the consecutive tragedies?

Nang buksan niya ang kan'yang mata, I knew He sent me an angel. Naniniwala siya sa'kin. There's no room to entertain doubts and self-pity. And I must remember that there's a life depending on mine.

The moment my son opened his eyes, I promised myself I'll do everything for my child.

Mothers are selfless individuals, parents in general. They think of their children more than they think of themselves. They carry with them a heart of gold that is meant to give light and shelter to the family.

"Mommy.." My voice croaked as I went near her.

She held my face in soft caress. Even at her age, Kristine Cameron maintained the classic American-Italian mixed beauty. Kaya pala pinagkaguluhan siya noon sa bayan namin.

Her skin may be paper white but there's no doubt that she's my mom. Nang makarating ako ng New York, Kristine Cameron made a decision. She was discharged from the hospital sa pagtataka ko. Mahirap para sa'min iyon. Tinatago niya ang sakit na nararamdaman niya. She smiled like she was fine. Hindi siya nagpakita ng kahinaan o kahit na anumang palatandaan na may sakit siya.