Flashed Golden Photographs (Sunset Avenues #1)

Chapter 44

Chapter 44

Camp Nou

I ached for him, to hold his hand, to ease his anger. I badly wanted to reach him. But he remained standing, with his fists balling in anger. His eyes were misty. It was the version of my best friend, Archi, who masks his problems through silence.

"His name is Hopie," sambit niya sa gumagaralgal na boses.

Tumango ako, nagbabadya na ang luha sa mga mata. It was painful to hear those words from him like he longed to hear them. It was filled with unbearable pain and questions. He tried to compose his voice and stand still.

"What's his full name?"

"Hope Enrique Bautista."

"De los Rios. He's mine."

Pero sa bawat pagbanggit niya ng mga salita, gumagaralgal iyon na para bang nahihirapan siya. He didn't need any further confirmation. Kung paano niya nalaman na sa kan'ya si Hopie maliban sa wala naman akong ibang naging iba sa buhay ko. Only him.

"What crossed your mind? Umalis ka ng Pilipinas na may anak tayong dalawa! And you didn't even bother to tell me? Sa halos ilang araw akong nagpabalik-balik sa'yo para makuha ulit ang loob mo! To fix our what could have been! Fuck! Dammit!"

Napapitlag ako sa marahas niyang pagmumura. This is not how I imagined it to be. Ang makita pa lang ang mata niya na malamig na nakatingin sa akin at nagbabadya ng luha ay nakakapanghina.

"The night we met again, hindi man lang ba pumasok sa isip mo na kailangan ko rin malaman ang tungkol sa kan'ya? Na karapatan ko ring malaman ang tungkol sa anak ko?"

"You're doing fine in Barce-"

"Bullshit! And you think I'd buy that excuse? Halos mabaliw ako kakaisip kung bakit mo ibinalik sa akin iyong singsing at bakit ka umalis ng Pilipinas! And here you are-thinking that I was doing fine in Barcelona! Who told you I was doing fine in Barcelona? Who told you.."

Napatakip ako sa mukha ko habang ang luha'y pinipigilan ay tuluyan na ngang kumawala.. I knew this day would come, that I have to face all these, his rage. But the emotions were too much that I couldn't handle them.

"I won a lot of titles as a fucking football player..only to lose years with my son."

"I was so lost and confused too, Archi! Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko n'on. I found out I was pregnant-" I managed to say despite my tears.

"You should have contacted me! You should have returned and we could have withstood it together! Hindi na sana..dammit!"

Because I was a wreck also! Gusto kong isatinig iyon at ipaliwanag ang sarili pero hindi ko magawa.

"You went to Barcelona with Enrique before? You knew I was there! Bakit hindi ka lumapit? Bakit hindi mo sa akin sinabi?" His pained voice was cold and accusing.

"Exactly, Archi! You just debuted for Barcelona!"

"So what? I told you before! I did all these for you! For our dreams! To make you proud.."

Napailing ako. When we came to Madrid, I heard about his debut for Barcelona.

Paano pa kami magkakapuwang sa kan'ya? Paano kami magkakapuwang sa isang lalakeng may nauna na palang pamilya? Ayoko nang ganoon para sa amin ni Hopie. I'd rather stay away and keep the distance.. Mourn silently.

"I'll see him. He deserves to know about me and I deserve to claim what's mine," matigas na pahayag niya. Nag-iigting ang bagang.

Gone was the gentle lover an hour ago. He transformed to a cold untamable beast. Pinigil ko siya sa braso at halos mapaatras din ako nang tanggalin niya iyon.