16. Secrets

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Dae's POV (Jin outside Dae's apartment above)

The next morning...

Waking up with puffy eyes, the drama with my sister yesterday ruined my date with Jin. I didn't even bother to change clothes or take off my make-up. I felt so hurt to my core that Jin believed her and didn't give me a chance to explain. He just walked off to his car. Leaving me alone at the table with my thoughts. What was going through his mind? How did Marie know I was there? What was he going to ask me? Questions filled my mind and I was curious. Getting out of bed with a headache, I needed to take a hot shower. 

Scrubbing the makeup off my face, my blood shot eyes stared back at me as I look at my reflection in the mirror. I think that my sister ruined my chances with Jin. Maybe I carry too much baggage. When I saw Jin's face when Marie said that I had an abortion will always haunt me. Although Tony was always sweet to me, I hated that she brought up his name. I remember the last time I saw him, our last phone call and our baby. Memories of him always made me feel sad because I still remember what happened that night. Walking home from the hospital in pain. 

After my shower, I walked to the sink to brush my teeth. The shower helped a little with the puffiness but, my eyes were still red. I found a nice pajama dress to wear and decided to hang around the house. I was still feeling sad and I didn't want to look over paperwork. I went to the kitchen to grab some fruit since I didn't eat breakfast. Usually on the weekend, the girls and I go to the library and read manga or poetry books. Turning on the radio, I started to clean up as the music plays. Playing music while cleaning made time fly but, this time I felt like music didn't cheer me up like it used to. Thinking about what happened weighed heavy on my heart and I'm considering moving back home to California.

Once everything is clean, I went to the living room to watch TV. I sat on my couch and propped my feet up as movie titles came up on the TV. Looking over at my window, the flowers that were on the table reminded me of Jin. I don't know why but, Ri dropped them off when I came home yesterday. Still, I don't know who sent them. I wished that Jin was the one that sent me these flowers as a way to apologize for leaving me. 

Trying to hold back tears, I keep thinking about the day I was at the hospital

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Trying to hold back tears, I keep thinking about the day I was at the hospital. The pain and abuse will always stick with me and I blame myself. I should've been able to protect myself but, I failed. Failure seems to always find a way to taunt me. I cannot even follow a simple task such as keeping a positive attitude. Staring at the flowers by the window, I shook my head from wondering about Jin as I decided to watch a documentary on animal behavior. 

As the movie starts, I heard a knock on my door. I looked through the peephole and I saw Jin standing there. Rolling my eyes, I started to walk back to the couch. 

"I know you're home. I saw your car in the outside." I didn't care that Jin knew that I was home. I walked back to the couch and sat down. I already called in from work and Ri wanted to make sure that I was okay. I told her that I was tired and needed rest. She said that she was going to call me on her lunchbreak.

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