Chapter 27

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Acceptance

Nanatili ang mga kaibigan ko dito ng ilang linggo pero hindi ko sila naasikaso. Umuwi sila nang hindi man lang ako lumalabas sa kwarto.

Hinahatiran din ako nila Tita at Yaya ng pagkain. They never stopped trying to comfort me but I don't want that. I'm not ready for that.

I don't want their comfort. I don't want to  be comforted. I'm not ready to hear words from them that will affect me. Ikagagalit ko lang 'yon. At sisisihin ko lalo ang sarili ko dahil nagalit ako sa kanila gayong gusto lang naman nilang makatulong. Papahirapan lang ako non.

At first, I'm not sure what I wanted but now.. I am. I only wanted to be heard. To be heard without hearing judgements. To be accepted and to be loved.

Iyon ang gusto ko... noong una. Pero hindi pala tama yon.

Pagtakas ang tawag doon. I realized that what I need to do is listen to them too. Pakinggan sila pagkatapos nila akong marinig. Tanggapin kung anong sasabihin nila. Masakit man o masarap sa pandinig pero iisa lang ang dapat kong gawin don. Ang tanggapin ang lahat.

I exhausted myself crying every night. Ganoon ang nangyari sa akin sa mga nagdaang araw. Hinayaan ko ang sarili kong maging totoo. I promised myself I'll give her time to feel the pain. To embrace it until I'm done hurting.

Pain was hunting me wherever I'll run so I stopped running. Not that I'm tired of it, I just knew that it was nonsense. I realized that running isn't always the answer. Because avoiding your problems means cowardness and I don't want to be called coward so I faced it.

Ayon naman talaga ang dapat kong gawin simula noong una pa lang. But I chose to run and hide from it. I chose to avoid the sadness. Everyone around deceived me pero ang sarili ko pala'y niloloko din ako.

Sa ilang araw, o halos isang buwan na pag iisip.. napakarami kong natutunan.

That being kind in every situation will cause danger in you. That you always need to think first, that you can say no sometimes. You can be mad, you can fought for yourself. That it's okay to feel pain. And it's fine to hurt someone unintentionally..

Because at the end of the day, what important is you've learned your lesson.

For months and months of thinking what's the reason behind this, I finally found the answer.

Nangyari ang lahat para mas lumakas ako. Everything happened so that I can grow. And so I did.

Kung hindi iisipin ay napakasimpleng dahilan lang. But when you accept everything with all of your heart, you'll be contented with what He did for you.

Mahirap man, may galit ka man sa puso, nasasaktan ka man, maiintindihan mo padin. Na sa huli, para sayo ang lahat.

So at the end of the day. I chose to be strong. To be brave again and to start living.

I smiled as I walked towars Mr. Ferrer's office. Ipinatatawag nya daw ako.

"Good morning, Sir," I nodded politely.

Tumingin sya sa akin at ngumiti.

"Good morning, hija. Mukhang maganda ang gising mo ngayon ah?" he chuckled.

"Yes, Sir.." magaan kong sambit. "Oh, Sir, here.. all of your appointments today. It's a little hectic specially.. it'll be James championship today. Do you want me to move Mrs. Dela Cuesta's requested meeting?"

Ngumiti sya sa akin at tinignan din ang iniabot ko.

"Oh, yes please.."

Tumango ako sa kanya at astang aalis na nang tawagin nya ako.

Conscience Of LoveTahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon