Irrepressible Fixation

✈37

Chapter Thirty seven

NAPAILING ILING ang dalagang si Killani habang pinapanood ang dalawang kaibigan niya na nagba-bangayan, sino ba ang dalawang 'yun? Edi si Airelle, at Gabrielle.

Hindi niya nga alam kung bakit nandito sila ngayong dalawa sa bahay niya, mukhang hindi pa naka-impake ang mga 'to e bukas na sila aalis patungong Boracay.

Killani doesn't know what to feel, especially after what happened yesterday. There, she decided to stay away from Didrik just like how he wished. Aalis nadin naman siya, she'll be gone in just a bubble; sana naman ay masaya na ito sa pag alis niya.

Napabalik sa ulirat and dalaga nung may umakbay sakaniya, Airelle gave her a concerned look.

"Okay ka lang ba? Kanina ka pa wala sa sarili."

Napahinga siya ng malalim, muling bumalik sa isip ang alaala ng nakaraang araw. Ngumiti ito ng malungkot. "Me and Didrik had an argument yesterday."

Gabrielle tsked. "May bago pa ba, parang palagi naman 'yan nangyayari."

"Oo nga e, pero bakit hindi parin ako nasasanay? Bakit ang sakit parin?"

Killani felt like her heart is being torn into pieces as she talk with her friends, patuloy na lumulubog ang puso niya na tipong kahit saan ito ay naiiyak siya. She just wants to let it out, and be free again.

"Kasi hanggang ngayon ay umaasa ka parin." Airelle combed her hair. "Lahat tayo ay pinagdaanan 'yan, at na-i-intindihan namin pag sinabi mo na hindi mo siya kayang pakawalan pero kailangan. Killani look at you, you look pathetic; don't you think it's about time to move on and change?"

Lumabo ang paningin niya, alam nito ang pinang-ga-galingan ng kaibigan. Nandoon sila para makita ang pagkabigo niya, and no doubt that she looks pathetic right now. Killani is at her last straw of hope, yet Didrik planned to hurt her again.

"Airelle's right, Killani. You spent 7 years loving a man who doesn't even want to be with you, do you really want to sacrifice the remaining years that will surely be wasted? Your future will be destroyed, c'mon look around; there's a lot of people that wants to ba a part of your life. Just open your heart to them, hindi na puro kay Didrik ka naka-focus." Sabi ni Gabrielle habang pini-pisil pisil ang pisngi niya.

"Pero mahal ko siya..." Bulong niya.

"Mahal ka ba?" Bahagya siyang umiling. "See? Hindi ka nga kayang alagaan sa mga oras na kailangan mo siya, ang mahalin ka pa kaya?"

A tear rolled down her face but she immediately wiped this, another one escaped her eyes; and another to the point that she just covered her face and silently cried.

"Bakit kayo ganyan? Bakit sinasaktan niyo ako?" Tanong niya sa mga kaibigan.

Airelle sighed. "Because the truth will be the starting point of your moving on journey, how could you accept the truth if no one slapped it to your face? C'mon, Killani, hindi kami ang mali dito. If this is the only way of you letting go, we will gladly hurt you every minute."

Maslalo siyang napaiyak, baka ito na nga ang hini-hintay niya na mangyari. Ang sumuko sa laban na kung saan hindi naman siya mahal ng kaniyang pinag-la-laban.

I was wrong, you're not my irrepressible fixation; and I will do my best to discard that feeling for you.

"Do you ever wonder why opinions can't win from facts?" Gabrielle stated. "That's because opinions only focuses on your perspective, unlike facts that can never be changed because it's the truth; and the real thing. That's why you can't win, because your opinion was to stay even if you're hurt; but the fact still remains that he doesn't love you."