Irrepressible Fixation

✈35

Chapter Thirty five

HETO na naman siya, nakatulala sa kawalan dahil maraming iniisip. Pagkatapos silang pakainin ni Sunshine ay kaagad din naman ang mga 'to umalis, nagulat nga siya nung malaman na kapitbahay lang nito ang dating kasintahan.

Love is in the air na ba?

Killani looked at the clock, the whole day; she's just in the office. Kahit hindi gaano ka dami ang gawain ay hindi parin siya umaalis, kahit ngayon na natapos niya na ang lahat na paper works. As much as possible, Killani doesn't want to get close to Didrik.

Kahit hinahanap hanap niya ang presensya ng binata, ayaw niya paring mag pakita kasi siguradong masasaktan lang siya. It's been a week since Didrik was free from any scandals, and much to her disappointment; parang wala lang dito ang presensya niya.

It makes sense, lumalapit lang sakaniya si Didrik pag may kailangan ito; at kung saan pinag-bigyan niya ang binata. Doon naman ito umiiwas, he's just using her. Sakanilang dalawa, si Didrik ang manggagamit; hindi siya.

And is it bad to say that she's more than willing to let him use her? If that makes him happy, then why not? Pero 'yan lang ang disadvantage...

She's being taken granted by him.

But Killani knows that someday, she'll somehow know her worth; and leave. Far away from him, far away from the pain.

Nakakasawa din na palagi nalang nasasaktan, after suffering from a plane crash; waking up from a realistic dream. She thought that her problem would be only her feelings for Didrik, but no. Hindi pala nagtatapos doon, she was sexually harassed for God's sake; almost raped.

Suffering from those? She could still handle it, she's still holding on. Killani forced herself to hold on kahit wala siyang pang-ha-hawakan, but when Didrik chose a different girl from her? Her hope is slowly withering.

Killani can still smile, laugh, but no one knows that she's dying inside; and it hurts. Who could save her if she's quickly drowning? She's already near at the bottom of the ocean's agony, gosh who is she kidding?

Kahit may tutulong sakaniya, wala ding silbi. Happiness starts within you, happiness is a choice; but she can't seem to choose that.

Killani feels so pathetic, bakit siya nagkaka-ganito dahil sa isang lalaki? Why can't she just let go, and move on? Why is it so hard?

Maybe because up until this day, she's still hoping at something that will never happen.

Can someone give her enough reason to give up?

Maybe someday she will, by that time; baka lunod na lunod na ito sa sakit.

"Yzareth!" Malakas na tawag niya sa sekretaryang chismosa.

Kaagad niya namang narinig ang yabag nito. "Yes ma'am?" Hini-hingal na tanong ng dalaga. "Wala pa akong chismis, ma'am. Don't worry kasi pag meron, ikaw kaagad ang sasabihan ko."

Umismid si Killani dahil sa sinabi niya, nung umulan siguro ng pagka-chismosa; na lunod ito sa baha.

"Pwede mo ako order-an ng malaking aquarium sa online?"

"Hindi po pwede."

Kaagad niya itong tinignan ng masama, napangiwi naman si Yzareth. "Sabi ko nga po, pwede po."

Killani sighed. "Okay, yung hindi lang too big; at too small. Ikaw na bahala, okay na 'yun."

Ngumiti naman si Yzareth. "Kumbaga hindi 10 inches, or 4 inches. Kundi 5? Got it ma'am."