Beyond the Flashing Lights

Chapter 6

Kami POV

Adam walks out of my door while tears fall down his cheeks. A part of me wants to take it all back but I know this is the right thing. Maybe not forever but for now.

Watching him leave was one of the hardest things I've ever watched. And I think this will always hurt.

I take a deep breath and begin packing up some of my things from my dorm. I need to go home. I need to clear my head and I need to say goodbye to Bethany in a way I haven't yet.

I pack up my paint brushes and a few empty canvases I have laying around. Some clothes from the closet. I roll my eyes at Becca's side of the closet. That girl. 

I decide to rest before I head home as I've barely gotten any rest. I drift in and out of sleep while dreaming of golden eyes.

—
It's dark by the time I get to the train station to get my ticket home.

The train is busy for this time of night but not overly jammed. I smile at a young family. Two little girls who might be a year apart. Blonde curly hair. Each parent is holding one kid as they sleep on their shoulder. How peaceful and safe they must feel to sleep like that and through the commotion. It makes me smile and my stomach flip at the same time.

I've never thought of having a family one day. I just figured it wasn't in the cards for me. But when I was with Adam, the way I felt. I could see him as a dad. And at that very thought my heart ramped up and tears fall out of my eyes. I don't think I'll be the one to ever see him as a dad.

—
I arrive at my home and it kind of makes me laugh at myself. I left here 4 months ago and thought I'd never come back. Yet I've been back twice. What a fucking baby.

I'm surprised to see a light on this late. I knock on the door because I don't know why. Maybe I should of told him I was coming early. I open the door a little and can hear the TV and laughter.

"Dad..." I somewhat yell.

Nothing.

I walk in still hearing the TV pretty loud. Old man must be losing his hearing. I walk in the living room a little nervous that I may scare the shit out of him. And boy, was I in for a shock..

"What the fuck." I say accidentally out loud at the sight of my dad making moves on a woman sitting and giggling on my couch.

"H..honey!" He jumps up startled.

And she turns to face me.

Mrs. Michaels. Eyes wide and lipstick smeared. Bethany's mom.....

She gasps when she sees me. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you found out this way." She says nervously looking towards my dad for him to chime in.

"Looks like everyone is full of fucking secrets lately!" I yell and stomp off to my old bedroom. I don't even want to stay here but at this point I have no place to go.

"Wait... Kami !" I hear my father's plea behind me. I keep stomping up the stairs

I get up to my room and go straight to closet and sit down with my knees to my chest. Wrapping myself in a bear hug. My mind wanders as I'm in my old safe spot.

"It's okay Kami we can just hang out in here! It will be our spot from ..from the noise." 6 year old Bethany convinces me. Usually I hide under the bed but maybe this would be better. We close the closet doors as we hear the screaming from my parents down stairs. They are fighting again. Bethany breaks my thoughts. "Look what I have?" She holds up our favorite card game. The Old Maid. "You ready to lose Beth!" I tease and giggle. We giggle through the entire game and I've completely blocked out my parents fight. I almost forgot about it. They are still going at it but it's muffled from in here. I like it better in here I'm glad Beth thought of it. I can see Bethany is getting sleepy so we lay down just to rest our eyes for a minute.

We woke up the next morning still in the closet! We laugh at how cool we are for not just having a sleepover but a sleepover in our own hiding spot. It's quiet downstairs I'm relieved for now.

"Kami." My dad's voice brings me back to reality.

I awkwardly open my closet door to see dad sitting at the end of my bed. "Glad you still use your old hiding spot." He says to me trying to lighten the mood.

"Sweetie. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But to be honest I didn't know what to tell you or how." He lets out all the air he's been holding.

"What does that mean." I ask dumbfounded and annoyed

"I ran into Amy at the store a couple weeks after you went to school. It was nice to catch up you know. I don't know. I just wanted to see her again. So I asked her. And we've been spending some time together." He awkwardly says.

"I feel lied to. Again. By everyone." I say to him frustrated

"We didn't want to upset you. I wanted to wait until we were in person to talk about it. And I don't know what to say. I like Amy. A lot. She is kind, intelligent, beautiful..."

"Yeah yeah I get it dad I don't need the details!"

He laughs "What I'm trying to say is. I'm not sure what Amy and I are but I know I don't want to stop seeing her. I wanted to tell you but when you came home last month so upset I couldn't bare upsetting you more."

So I'm the problem. Everyone is so afraid I'm going to break they HAVE to lie to me.

"I was caught off guard. But I should have called you first. It's your house." I say to dad but he interrupts me "no no this is our home. It will always be." He puts his arm around my shoulders. Something he's rarely done. I give him a 'what the hell' look.

"Amy is softening me up a bit." He says through a laugh

He's eyes are glossy. His cheeks are flushed. He's laughing. He really does seem happy.

"Dad. I want you to be happy. And Mrs. Michaels deserves to be happier than anyone I know. " He squeezes me super tight.

"That means more than you know!" He says to me while squeezing me harder. I may die from this affection that has now turned into a hug.

"I need to rest. I will apologize to Mrs. Michaels tomorrow." I say to him.

He laughs. "You can call her Amy." I roll my eyes

"Night dad."

AN:

Mrs. Michaels and her dad....we all saw that coming right?

How'd you like the memory of Bethany?