Taming Mister Bipolar (COMPLETED- Editing)

Forty Two

 

Eden Joe Buenaventura’s

“Joselito mahal kita,” She said in between tears. “…Pero sorry.” She pursed her lips, “Hi—hindi pa ako handa.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was dumbfounded. To say that I did everything, I’m even willing to take the risk… to leave everything for her. And all I heard was sorry… an apology because she isn’t ready-- A sorry.

My hands trembled and my gaze started to curve in. It’s like I’m starting to shut off from the world again. No, not now, I have to control this. I need her. I don’t want her to go.

She got up and faced me. God. I want to chase her. Pull her in and hug her forever. Why can’t I have her easily? Why is she so hard?

“Gusto ko lang—“

I waved my palms. My breathing starts to labor pero hindi ko ito pinahalata. My head is throbbing, “Don’t say a thing. Just…leave and don’t look back.”

The memories flashed in my mind like a movie. Everything flooded, poisoning me with the memories that I had always wanted to forget.

*Flashback*

I licked my lower lip and nervously kneeled. “Will you do the honor and accompany me for the rest of my life?”

Her eyes swelled and shock was evident on her face. She took a step back, “Eden, what’s this?”

My hands started to tremble and I knew this isn’t going to end the way I want it to be. But, still, I decided to go through it. “Will you marry me?”

She looked at the people. They were smiling in anticipation. But her eyes tell the other way around. She’s not happy… she looks scared.

“I’m sorry Eden,” She cupped her mouth with her palms, “I—I can’t. I’m so sorry.” After saying those, she ran away. She ran and never looked back.

--

“Sorry.” She whispered before turning and took a step to walk away. I knew she was crying and I want to run after her but I was just pasted on the bench like post stuck in the ground. The pain stops me. I’m scared… the rejection, letting go, moving on, and the isolation. I can’t handle them.

A tear jerked and rolled down my cheek. “Why does it always have to be no, sorry, and not yes, I do?”

It’s so painful.

Don’t worry; everything’s going to be alright. The pain’s going to leave soon. Just close your eyes. A voice in my head said. Someone’s going to protect you; someone who’ll never leave you. Just close your eyes and the pain will go.

I looked at Patring’s back several yards away. Every step leads her far from me. Thinking about it crushes my chest, like a ravenous claw was gripping it tightly. My head throbbed, and then the fear and pain was back again.

I finally decided to stand up and walk towards the opposite direction as her. Bakit ba lahat ng taong minamahal ko’y iniiwan lang ako? May mali ba sa ‘kin? It’s painful.

A tear rolled down my cheek again. Yes, it’s painful watching her go.

Throb! Goes my head; my eyes went black.

I held my head. The pain is rushing in fast. God d*mn it!

I blinked several times. I looked around, everything is turning black. I almost can’t see a thing. I can’t think straight for the pain is overwhelming.