Cursed [Jai Brooks]

The Only One- Chapter 33

“Hope” Jai whispers through the endless sounds of nothing. I want to ignore him, I want to be distracted by any other noise than his voice but there’s nothing. Not a bird chirping, a machine buzzing, the wind blowing, we are trapped in nothing.

“You’re going to have to talk to me at some point” he says as if reading my thoughts. I’d almost forgotten how compatible we are. We’ve been stuck in here no longer than four hours and I’m already simmering with frustration “Hope” he pesters again, this time his voice raised, I can barely see anything through the lightless room. A small window is open ever so slightly at the top of the metres high wall, not big enough to let through a significant amount of light.

“Fuck off” I mutter under my breath.

“We’re going to be here five days and you’re seriously going to spend the entire time ignoring me?” he asks, I can tell that he’s raising his brows with a deep smirk and it infuriates me that even when I’m mad at him I wish that I could see it.

“I don’t want to talk to you” I whisper completely betraying my confidence.

“I want to talk this out, I can’t just leave you without having the chance to tell you what I’ve been waiting to tell you” he says and suddenly I find myself dying to know what he has to say, I find some kind of clarity in the tone of his voice, it’s so soft and unlike Jai.

I stay silent but turn to face him as an indication to carry on. Even in the darkness I can see his hooded dark eyes, and I know that they’re boring into mine, the intensity heats something in the bottom of my stomach. My heart is begging for him to tell me what he has to say but my mind knows that I should shut him out and ignoring all of the gloried bullshit that is about to come out of his sordid mouth.

“Can I speak?” he asks as if it’s relevant. He’s been talking this whole time without my permission; he’s constantly invaded my space without my permission, he’s tormented me without my permission, he kept things from me without my permission and now he’s asking for my permission to speak? I swear to god he’s making my psycho.

“You may as well, you’re going to fucking speak whether I want you to or not” I bark

“Okay, so first off I’m sorry” he says bluntly as if waiting for my disapproval which is inevitable

“Pretentious wanker” I spit, his apology is bullshit, absolute bullshit. He’s done nothing but torments me and shows no remorse and now that I am able to push him away he’s suddenly regretful and apologetic, no way.

“Are you going to let me carry on? Or are you going to antagonise me after every word that leave my mouth?” he groans in frustration

“Oh no, you carry on. Humour me with your bullshit” I smile although I’m aware he can’t see it making the gesture seem almost ridiculous.

“I’m sorry. I am sorry for everything, I am sorry for ever cornering you in that classroom, I’m sorry for following you after, I’m sorry for the torment and the harassment and everything that came after. I am sorry for ripping away everything that ever mattered to you, I should’ve never threatened your family, I should’ve never...killed your sister” he takes a pause for breath as if the remorse is killing him, ironic “I should’ve never put your life in danger or terrified you the way I did, I am sorry for ever involving myself in your life because before me you were at least content” he sighs and I am aware that his speech has come to an end.

Part of me wants to scream at him so sure that’s he’s lying just to find his way back into controlling me but part of me wants to rush to his side and hug him and kiss him and thank him for apologising even though he’s apologising for essentially ruining my life. This is what I mean, absolute fucking psycho.