Cursed [Jai Brooks]

Dreams- Chapter 37

After resolving to forget last night’s vivid dream I pull myself from the comfort of my bed and begin packing my bags for school. It almost seems odd returning to school, involving myself in the petty little squabbles of ignorant asshats and indulging in the meaningless issues that come with high school territory. The quiet bliss that surrounds me reminds me of how our family as lessened, with Ruby gone mornings are no longer a fluster of lame insults and dull-witted moaning.  Part of me misses the chaos, the complete meaningless chaos that used to irritate me like hell but now I’d give anything to have it back.  

“Hope” my mom calls, a voice that used to be filled with such urgency and stress, now nothing of the sorts.

“Coming” I call back, my heart sinking at the realisation that she no longer has another name to call, I’m the only child that’ll come bouncing down the stairs, I’m the only child that she can make lunch for, I’m the only one she has left.

I grab a pair of jeans and loose fitting jumper from my wardrobe and throw it own, as I glance over my appearance in the mirror I can’t help but imagine Jai behind me disapproving my choice of clothing. I try to shake away the thought and grab my bag.  Once in the kitchen I am fussed over like a new pet, my mom plies me with food and information about the coming day, for example, the local and national news which honestly I have no interest in. I pretend to enjoy her pointless chatter meanwhile dad joins us at the table. He eyes me up, giving me a quick smile before opening up the morning paper and digesting the daily news.

“Hope darling, Grandpa Stan is coming over tonight with his new wife Ruth, you’re expected to be pleasant and polite, but of course you will be” she insists, her voice altering to a soft tone although the seriousness is evident “Stan was distraught when he heard of your-your-uh” she pauses for thought

“I understand” I nod knowingly.

“Your boyfriend called this morning” dad mutters under the coverage of the news, he lifts his hand out from underneath his paper to grab a slice of toast that mom placed in front of him.

“He did?” I can’t help the surprise in my voice

“Yeah, he said he’d call back later” my dad’s tone is clipped and harsh, clearly yesterday was a one off, back to the same stubborn asshole as always.

I finish off the rest of my breakfast bagel, which my mom generously filled with bacon, scrambled eggs and tomatoes before grabbing my bag and heading out the door. I jump into my mom’s Prius and take a leisurely drive to school, my absent minded thoughts clouded by abstract tattoo sleeves and gorgeous smouldering lips.  As I pull up into the school car park I realise the shift in atmosphere that abundantly surrounds this school, no democracy, no hierarchy. What the death of one person can change, with no Brie Adleton there seems to be no labels. I step out of the car, grabbing my bags from the passenger seat before locking the door.

“Hope” a voice calls, their words laced with utter shock. I turn to meet the face that I’ve been waiting to see

“Jeremy” I screech in excitement as he runs towards me with open arms, as soon as he reaches me we crash into a deep embrace that was well over due.

“I’ve missed you so much” he mumbles into my hair, his arms squeezing me tight “I thought I’d never see you again” his confession makes my heart sink, how could I be so selfish as to leave him without so much as a goodbye? He was my only friend and I was his, and I left him here, all alone and let him believe my deceit.

“I’ve missed you too” I breathe and bite my lip to hold back my threatening tears

Jeremy finally releases me from his grip, he holds me back at arm’s length and looks me over, checking for any damage yet unknown to him the damage is only inside, unseen, withheld, secretive, hidden within the depths of my dark soul that was bound by tainted love and heart shattering heart. If only I could tell Jeremy of what has happened, I could find some comfort in all of this hell but I know that if I were to tell him he wouldn’t understand. As if on cue the school bell rang alarming students that first period was about to commence, Jeremy insists on walking me to class, he fills me in on mindless stories that revolved the latest school issues: Bethany Adunan was caught fucking Jude Thomas in the janitor’s closest, I always knew she was a whore, Brie Adleton’s sidekicks were now nothing but extra members of the chess club, the cheerleading squad had no choice but to enrol new members as a majority of its members had dropped out, they were only doing it to impress Brie and Jeremy fell in love, my Jeremy, I couldn’t help but smile deeply as he filled me in on the details of his boyfriend.