DEAR D (pen pal edition) ✔️

92

DIMITRI

April 3rd
Dear D,
Your funeral was yesterday. Everyone cried. I think I did the most, though. My mascara ran so much Dennis said I looked like a sad racoon. I feel like a sad racoon. He misses you, too. He held my hand the entire time we were at the funeral and he wouldn't let go until we went back to your house. Aunt Sue is so nice. She welcomed my family like her own.

Your cousins are the greatest. Madeline is so cute. She showed me all her Barbies and stuffed animals. You were right; Madeline and Dennis get along fine. Best friends already. They want to become Pen Pals, like us. Like we were. It's cute really. My mom is helping Dennis right now write his first letter to her. I think they'll become great friends. Henry and Oscar are so funny and Lydia reminds me so much of you.

I saw what your bedroom looks like. Aunt Sue gave me a tour, basically. She showed me all your posters, your books, and the desk where you sat and wrote my letters. Honestly, I expected your room to be more dark and gloomy, but it's so bright and colorful. So lifelike. It doesn't make sense.

My family and I just got back this morning. I still haven't unpacked. Part of me feels ridiculous to keep writing you letters, but it's the only thing keeping me sane right now. I can't stop thinking about what Aunt Sue said. Maybe, hopefully, wherever you are, you're still reading my letters. Every word, every sentence. I'm going to keep writing, but I'm not sending them to your house anymore. I think it would hurt your aunt.

Aunt Sue gave me back the letters I sent. I'm going to keep them in a notebook or something. Maybe a chronological scrapbook that I can go back and read over and over again. I'm going to Walmart tomorrow to get what I need. My mom thinks I should decorate my scrapbook with stickers so it's not 'so depressing and gloomy'. Her words.

It's been so hard not talking to you. Every day after school, I check the mailbox. Out of instinct, of course. Waiting for a letter that's never going to come. My mom wants me to go back to therapy and honestly I think I should. It's the first time I haven't fought her on it. My sessions with Doctor Hapbe start up again next week.

Don't worry about Bill and Ted. Henry and Oscar are taking great care of those furry guys. They're in good care. I'm still going to send them Christmas presents every year, along with the rest of your family. Aunt Sue and Mom already made plans to spend Christmas together this year.

I wish you were still here with me.

Love, Dimitri