The captain

Chapter 41.

(y/n)'s graduation was everything she wanted it to be. She had fun, she shed tears and most of all she got to see Kuroo again. Not long after that she was packing her bags for Tokyo city. Her knee was finally completely healed and she was insanely excited to meet her new team and coaches. During the summer she started early training to get back into the groove, and living with Kuroo again just gave an insane energy boost.

Her classes were going great, even though the exams were pretty tough, she still managed to keep up. Kuroo signed up for a project the university organized for which they would build an entirely electric plane. If they managed to get a working prototype it would absolutely revolutionize sustainable transport. Seeing as he got many recommendation letters from his professors he made it into the project and was insanely happy about it.

(y/n) was just as happy for him, if it weren't for this one person who was ruining everything. Elaine. An exchange student. (y/n) wasn't the type to get overly jealous about girls but something about Elaine really just didn't sit right with her. This girl was almost the spitting image of (y/n). Almost the same height, same hair and eye colour and same style. However, she played volleyball in high school. The fact that she had so much in common with Kuroo worried (y/n), a lot. What if Kuroo just decided that this was the better version of her? What if he left her for Elaine? (y/n) always thought irrationally after meeting her, especially since she would text Kuroo at the strangest times, and he would respond too. It was always work related, but she still couldn't shake off this nasty feeling about her.

Tonight was one of those nights, Kuroo and (y/n) were watching a movie together and suddenly Kuroo's phone buzzed.

KUROO: Hold on, it's Elaine, she's asking for the plane's wing project files, pause it for a sec, I need to send them to her...

(y/n) sighed quietly and paused the movie as Kuroo got up and went to his computer.
(y/n) felt sick to her stomach, they hadn't even kissed yet that day, they hadn't had sex in a long time and everything just felt gray. It felt like they were together just because they had to, it felt like they didn't want to be anymore. Her stomach churned as she thought of what to do, maybe she should keep these feelings to herself and they'll fade eventually... Or maybe she should talk about them with Kuroo, and fix things. But what if they end up breaking up? Just the idea made her want to cry, and yet still being there made her hurt aswell. What was she supposed to do? Tears inevitably started running down her cheeks, she tried her best to stop them but they just wouldn't, she needed to get herself together before Kuroo got back, but nothing seemed to work. Right as Kuroo was coming back to sit down on the couch she got up and went to the bathroom, slightly sobbing. She hoped Kuroo hadn't noticed and just thought she had to pee or something but he did, and he got worried.

KUROO: (y/n), are you ok?

He whispered outside the bathroom door. (y/n) internally screamed as she tried to ease the pain she felt in her throat.

Y/N: Yup! I'm good!

She exclaimed, trying to sound happy. But she just sounded desperate.

KUROO: (y/n), I can tell when you're lying. What's this about?

(y/n) slid onto the bathroom floor with her back to the door, crying her eyes out and trying not to make any noise.

KUROO: (y/n) please answer me...
Y/N: I don't know-

She whispered almost inaudibly, her face in her hands.

KUROO: What don't you know?
Y/N: I don't know how to talk t-to you anymore... I don't know how I f-feel about you anymore... I don't know what to say at dinner, I run out of the house in a rush in the morning to avoid conversation, I don't know if you want to replace me with Elaine, I don't know what's happening to u-us...
KUROO: Is all of this about Elaine...?
Y/N: N-no! It's been a while since I've been t-truly h-happy with you... I don't know w-what happened, b-but it's not the s-same anymore... If anything, jealousy should mean I s-still love you... B-but I d-don't know if that's true anymore... It feels like I just h-have to be jealous... B-because that's what a girlfriend w-would do...

Her voice almost went silent in that last part, Kuroo collapsed on the floor, his head against the door, his heart aching, knowing he felt the same way, but not wanting to accept it.

KUROO: I understand... And, uhm, I have the same feelings, s-sometimes... Maybe we s-should talk it through? Fix this?
Y/N: I don't know if this can be fixed... Maybe our time is over?

There was only a door in between them, but it felt like they were miles apart, it'd been feeling that way for a while for both of them.

KUROO: S-so that's it? After everything... We're done?
Y/N: I think so... I'm sorry...
KUROO: No, don't apologize... You can't control your feelings.

They both sobbed quietly against that bathroom door for a bit. They let the time they were still a couple go on just a little bit longer, before finally letting go.

-

Y/N: Thank you, for everything.

She whispered as she picked up her last suitcase and left, onto a new life, into a new home. Kuroo couldn't help but send her a bittersweet smile, wishing her the best in life.

-

A/N: Uhm.... Yeah.... Please don't hate me