BENNY WATTS IMAGINES- The Queen's Gambit

I'm just a distraction- part 2

Warning: Self- harm and swearing. Read it at your own risk, I've already warned you⚠️

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Three months later:

Writer's POV:

She missed him, his touch , his hair, his brown eyes ,she missed everything about him. Even after so many days, she would go sit on that bench very often, as if he was going to come back to her any moment. But she knew it wasn't true, nothing was true about her first love, he didn't like her and it was just a one sided relationship. Her father tried so hard to make his daughter happy, he tried to spend more time with her, but some things can't just be fixed. He knew that his daughter was lost, something was terribly wrong with her.

He knew he was right, something was terribly wrong with her. He started seeing scars on her wrists and she would always lie to him about them. He even talked about Benny and her relationship and she would always say that they both fell out of love eventually. But this wasn't true, Benny was never in love with her and she was...blind in love. She would hide the deep cuts and scars on her wrists with the bracelets and watches, making sure nobody saw because she didn't want her father to be worried about her.

One day she just locked the bathroom, turned on the tap to fill the bathtub and cut herself. This time she cut so deep that the blood won't stop flowing. She sobbed silently, not because her hands were hurting and her body was exhausted from all the blood loss but because she had had made a mistake. The world slipped around her , black dots clouded her vision and then she slid down the wall. Her father came to her room when he found her missing for about three hours. He knocked on the bathroom door and started pounding on it when he heard the water but he didn't hear her. He pushed his body against the door until it broke and found his daughter lying lifelessly on the floor.

His vision blurred because of his tears when he saw the big pool of blood around her hands. He quickly lifted her up and took her to the city hospital, his shirt stained with her blood. "Please save my princess, she's the only one I have." he begged to the doctor. An hour later, the doctor allowed him to see his daughter. She was in the ICU, her wrists stitched and bandaged neatly, a huge needle piercing the back of her hand, connected to a blood bag. Her chest rose slightly while breathing and it was the only sign that she was alive. Although she looked pale, he was happy that she was alive."My daughter deserved a better first love."he mumbled and sobbed.

Benny's POV:

My friend Arthur called me from the city hospital, his sister had just gone through labour and he was there to look after her. "Hello,mate! I gotta tell you somethin' important real quick!" Arthur exclaimed. "Go ahead."I said. "Something is wrong with y/n, I saw her father carrying her to the ICU."he said. I tried to process what he had said. Wait, did he just say y/n?  I thought. " If this is one of your stupid pranks I'm gonna kill-"I tried to say but he cut me off. "I'm not joking brother."he said. "Okay I'll be there in in ten minutes."I said. I hung up the phone and I thought about her again.

I broke up with Beth last month, she wasn't anything like y/n and I was too late to realize that. I was clear about what I wanted, I knew I needed y/n. I put on my black skinny jeans, bottle green shirt, my boots, trenchcoat and hat before taking my car keys and heading out of the apartment. I don't know why she was in the hospital but I knew that I had to see her and tell her that I love her. After parking my car hurriedly, I went inside the hospital where Arthur already saw me entering through the main gate. "Where is she?"I asked him. " On the fifth floor."he replied and started walking. I quickly followed him and we reached her room door.

"Her father is in there." Arthur said. I nodded and then he left. I pushed the door open without thinking anymore and her father looked at me furiously. " You fucking arsehole! You did this to her!" He said through his gritted teeth making sure he didn't yell because he didn't want to wake her up. " Why did you do this to my princess?" he looked at me and his eyes softened immediately. All this time, I was just looking at him and y/n who was asleep on the bed. "I-i am very sorry, I didn't-"I tried to say but he cut me off."I don't want to hear your sorry, look what you've done to her! She's my daughter, my princess! I don't want you to come near her anymore, you've already done a lot of damage!"he raised his voice with tears in his eyes.

"I just want to see her, I promise I won't hurt her " My voice cracked and I noticed that my eyes were filled with water. "Look, you need to leave. I'll tell her you were here but I don't want you to meet her anymore." he said. "But I love her, please just let me say that to her."I protested. "Leave!"he said angrily and I stormed out of there.

Two days later:

Benny's POV:

Arthur called me and told me that she woke up today in the morning so I quickly went to the hospital to see her, just the way I did from the past two days. Even if her father didn't allow me to see her, I waited for hours outside her room because all I wanted to do was tell her about my feelings. I wanted her to...feel loved. I caused her so much pain that she tried to end her life and I felt terrible about it. How could I do that to someone I loved? I didn't wait for her father's permission and pushed the door open, looking at her. "Hey, who the hell told you that you're allowed to see her!"her father quickly stood in between me and her. She had a very shocked expression on her face, as if she never expected me to be here.

"Please, I just want to talk to her." I begged. "Papa, let him in."she sighed. I heard her soft voice which sounded like music to my ears and I knew that I missed her so much. "Tell me if he tries to do anything and I'll break his neck."her dad said sternly, giving me a death glare and I gulped with fear. " Papa..."she looked at him and he nodded before going outside.

Writer's POV:

Benny came closer to her and sat on the stool that was placed right beside her bed. He held her hand very softly, making sure that her cuts won't hurt. "Baby,I'm s-"he tried to say but she glared at him."Don't call me that."she deadpanned. He looked quite hurt but he started talking again. " Y/n, I realized that it was my mistake. I am a terrible man and I just need one last chance to prove myself. I love you and I'm sure about it."he looked at her, waiting patiently for her to say something. "Look Benny, I can't. If you're here to tell me that you want me back, you need to try harder. The last thing I want to tell you is that I'm shifting back to LA with my father in three days. I won't be here anymore. I love you, I still do, despite everything that you've done but I can't ruin anything now. It's better if you forget me."she sobbed.

"Love please, just give me a few days, don't leave. I'll do everything that you want, please I love you."Benny sobbed and covered his eyes with his fingers, pinching the bridge of his nose which turned red due to all the crying. "I'm sorry, I can't. It's over. I kept crying over you, sitting on that bench for hours like a jerk but you never came back to me and now that I was almost dead, you came running back ! Why?"she said and looked down, not wanting to look into his brown eyes."I never wanted you to do anything for me, I just wanted you to love me and give me your time."she mumbled. He ran a hand through his messy blonde hair and never took his eyes off her. He could clearly see the damage that he had done to her and to their relationship. She was broken to the point that there was no going back, he knew that he had lost her forever.

"Even if I want to come back, I can't. I'm going with my father because he truly loves me. You were nothing but selfish."she fiddled with her thumbs as he sobbed more. She couldn't deal with him crying over her. She shifted a little bit and got out of the bed, her hand still connected with the glucose saline via the needle. Benny looked at her with confusion but she gestured him to stand up. She leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek, just the way she did when she walked out of his apartment three months ago. "It's time for you to leave." she said. He cupped her cheeks and placed a soft , lingering kiss on her lips. "I love you, I'm sorry that I did this to you... and to us. Goodbye y/n."he sobbed and went out of the room, leaving her forever. "I love you too, Benny."she said.

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